For those of you who have missed my name by coming to this page directly, I'd like to introduce myself.  My name is Di.  I'm almost 40 years old and have lived in Canada all of my life.

I have been a "survivor" yes, a survivor (I refuse to be a victim)  with a hidden disability called chronic pain for 12 years now.  The reason I refer to it being hidden is that it's a disability that no one can usually  see with the naked eye.

The general public cannot visualize physical pain, although those that know me can usually tell my tell-tale signs.  A look into my eyes at times does in fact show the pain, however, I've grown very good at hiding it from the world.  After being told "You're making it up" or "There's nothing wrong with you" or my favourite one....."It's all in your head", one learns to cope in the best manner possible.  It's also been suggested by uneducated Doctors, that my pain is somatoform (self focused to an extreme) in manner.

Chronic pain is, however, very real and has a tendency to take over ones life in the worst manner possible.

I have been advised by many Doctors that I will be a chronic pain patient for the remainder of my life due to injuries sustained in my back, neck and shoulders.

For me, my story begins on the evening of March 17, 1989.  I remember thinking to myself a few days prior "Thank God, we've made it through another winter and spring is right around the corner".  Little did I know at the time how wrong I was or how drastically my life was about to change.

The weather had been absolutely crazy that night.  We had received a heavy snow fall followed by a lengthy period of freezing rain.  I recall my mother telling me that I should call in sick the next day and not bother driving into work as the roads would be bad.  My mother had never done that before but, said she had a bad feeling.

As a civilian employee of a police force, the thought of calling in sick when I wasn't sick would never occur to me as my services were needed.  I worked in an occupation that runs 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  I was scheduled to report for duty the following morning (Saturday) at 7:00 a.m.

Upon waking up at 3:30 a.m. the following morning to get ready for work, I listened to the radio to see what condition the roads were in.  The radio announcer indicated that the Ontario Provincial Police had issued a report  advising all drivers to stay off of the roads unless it was an emergency.

Unfortunately, as an employee of a police force, you are expected to report for duty regardless.  There is no such thing as an emergency and we are the people that are there to help others.

I quickly showered and prepared for work.  I wanted to leave extra early that morning as my driving time would more than likely be doubled to two hours that day as I maneuvered my way into work.

At approximately 5:00 a.m., the event that would change my life forever occurred.  I was driving on an eight lane highway.  Since leaving home that morning, I had passed several accidents.  At one moment everything was fine, the next thing I remember is hitting black ice and having my vehicle careen over towards the dividing barrier that separated the eastbound and westbound lanes on the highway.   My car hit the barrier by spinning in circles with all four sides of my car hitting as it spun out uncontrollably.

I pulled my vehicle over to the left side of the highway and remember getting out to check for damage to the vehicle.  At that time, I waited approximately one half hour for an Ontario Provincial Police car to drive by as they patrolled the highway.  My only hope at the time was that someone had called the accident in.  Thankfully, at the time of the accident, I had been wearing my seat belt - I firmly believe that is why I am around to write my story today.

I waited by my vehicle until 5:45 a.m. and left the scene of the accident knowing that I could report the accident to the Staff Sergeant on the duty desk when I reported for duty.

Upon arriving at police headquarters, I advised the officer in charge about the accident.  At this point in time, I was in an extreme state of shock.  The duty Staff Sergeant informed me "You can be arrested for leaving the scene of an accident, you know?"  He also refused to take an accident report advising me it was out of their jurisdiction.

I proceeded on my way up to the area I worked in and reported the accident to the supervisor in charge of the floor .  He said not to worry about it and to just advise the O.P.P. detachment of the area in which the accident occurred.  After advising my immediate supervisor what had occurred and phoning the O.P.P., I proceeded to start my job with the promise that I would stop by the local detachment on my way home from work.

Still in shock, I proceeded to commence my duties and recall mentioning to several officers on the telephone that day (jokingly) that I needed a valium.  I'd never taken that drug before, however, knew it was used for anxiety.

By the time I finished my scheduled shift at 4:00 p.m. that day, the roads had been cleared.  The accident was reported and filed with the O.P.P.   I recall the officer's name was "McKay" and I had to ask him repeatedly how to spell his name.  If anything, that should have been a clue that I was still in shock.

The remainder of the weekend was spent attending the hospital to ensure I didn't have any broken bones and in bed due to the fact that my back, neck and shoulders felt like they were on fire.

Up until this day, I'd had a very successful career.  I was just in the process of going for a job interview on the upcoming Tuesday for a much higher job that I wanted very much.

I was very active with sports and was a size seven in clothing.  I had always been an extrovert and thrived on socializing with people.

I couldn't ask for a better life.  I was single, 28 years old and living a life I loved immensely.

This set was designed specifically for me as a gift by my very dear friend Sondra.  Please do not take any part of this set.

Sondra, your work has always given me a lot of inspiration.  By your generosity in providing me with such an absolutely incredible background set,  I know my writings will continue to be uploaded with the hopes of educating others.  Hugs, Di
 
 

I have now installed a new message board for this site. Please ensure you have read the guidelines on my Home  page prior to posting to the message board.  Thanks.

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By Di. All Rights Reserved
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Last updated January 4, 2001