An adhesive may be only
way to bond with kids.
WHEN
my children were born, bonding hadn't been invented yet.
I was given a sedative just before the birth and didn't
wake up until the kid was about 2 or 3 years old.
When
my husband bought season tickets to the Phoenix Suns
basketball games, we saw this as a time to
"bond" with our children. With 41 home games to
view, the combinations were without limit. He'd go with
one son one night and I'd go with my daughter the next
home game. Then I'd go with another son and he'd go with
our daughter. This would be an opportunity to have social
interaction with one another, find out how they felt
about life, and form a covenant of feelings that
sometimes get lost in the daily routine.
At
the end of the first quarter in a game with the Chicago
Bulls, I turned to my daughter to tell her how close I
felt to her when I saw her leaning over the seat in front
of her.
"What's
the matter?" I asked.
"I
lost an earring," she said. "I think it fell
down that man's pants."
"I
don't believe you," I said. "It's like going
out with Peg Bundy on Married With Children.
"Mom!
I didn't do it on purpose," she said. "I'll
know for sure when he stands up."
The
man stood up to cheer and got a strange look on his face.
"Don't
call me Mom," I whispered. "I don't know
you."
My
husband's experience wasn't exactly spiritual either. One
of our sons complained that the seats were so far up he
felt rain. My husband told him we were lucky to get them.
Right
after the tipoff, he motioned to his dad to follow him to
a closer section where there were vacant seats. His
father said he couldn't do that because it was dishonest.
So they sat apart.
When
we tried to establish some kind of human relationship
with our other son, we both had the same experience. He
was like some wandering minstrel; he was never in his
seat. If he wasn't standing in a line to buy soft drinks
and tacos, he was going to the restroom or hanging out
with friends. Once when he got back during the fourth
quarter, I leaned over and said, "Daddy and I are
glad you were born." He nodded silently and then
asked, "Compared to what?"
When
new parents talk about bonding, it sounds so warm and
fuzzy. Maybe it works only when one party can't talk.
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