God created man in His own image
~ Lawyers created God in theirs.

Never make the "sign of a cross" before your lawyer
~ Try a dollar sign instead.

Most lawyers look intent
~ They're intent on making money.

Lawyers go by several names. First, last and middle.
~ Plus the names clients use when they receive their monthly statements.

All lawyers' trousers are cut in the same manner.
~ They have deep pockets.

First impressions are important.
~ Try to look your best for the first interview with your lawyer

Long words take up more space.
~ This is why legal pads are larger than normal.

Blue is the colour used for legal covers.
~ It puts the recipient in the right mood to read what's inside.

If lawyers could be understood by a layman
~ why hire one in the first place?

The concept of free speech is a strange one for a lawyer.
~ He should have the right to charge his usual fee for speaking up.

Lawyer's favourite words are
~ "whereas", "wherefore" and "for services rendered".

Who says lawyers lack inagination?
~ Their monthly bills are creative masterpieces.