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~If You know of any missing quotes, email me & I will add them~

 

"Bulldogs are adorable, with faces like toads that have been sat on."
-- Colette

"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about Bulldogs"
--Sandi Farr

"The nose of the Bulldog has been slanted backwards so that he can breathe without letting go."
-- Winston Churchill

"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about little puppies."
-- Gene Hill


"A watchdog is a dog kept to guard your home, usually by sleeping where a burglar would awaken the household by falling over him."
--Anonymous

"Never judge a dog's pedigree by the kind of books he does not chew."
--Anonymous

"No matter how little money and how few possessions you own, having a dog makes you rich."
--Louis Sabin, All About Dogs As Pets

"A dog can express more with his tail in minutes than his owner can express with his tongue in hours."
--Anonymous

"I am as confounded by dogs as I am indebted to them. "
--Roger Caras, A Celebration of Dogs

"You always sympathize with the underdog, except when the other dog is yours."
--Anonymous

"Howling dogs mean the wind god has summoned death, and the spirits of the dead will be taken."
--Unknown Author

"Every dog has his day -- but the nights are reserved for the cats."
-- Unknown

"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down."
-- Robert Benchley

"The little furry buggers are just deep, deep wells you throw all your emotions into."
-- Bruce Schimmel

"The problem with cats is that they get the same exact look whether they see a moth or an ax-murderer."
-- Paula Poundstone

"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives."
-- Sue Murphy

"If you don't mind throwing tennis balls for eternity, I do have an opening in doggie heaven."
-- Frank and Ernest comic strip, an angel at St. Peter's gate, to a man seeking admittance

"Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail.."
-- Henry Wheeler Shaw

"J'embrasse mon chien sur la bouche!" (I kiss my dog on the mouth.)
-- Unknown

"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants."
-- A. Whitney Brown

"All trees have bark.
All dogs bark.
Therefore, all dogs are trees.
The fallacy of barking up the wrong tree."
-- Unknown

"A dog is a dog except when he is facing you. Then he is Mr. Dog."
-- Haitian Farmer

"Whoever said "let sleeping dogs lie" didn't sleep with dogs."
-- Unknown

"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him."
-- Dereke Bruce, Taipei, Taiwan

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."
-- Ben Williams

"Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate in their object-relations."
-- Sigmund Freud

"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-- Roger Caras

"The most reliable and intense dogs are the ones that achieve drive satisfaction by discovering success"
-- Sgt. Donn Yarnall

"To his dog, every man is King; hence the constant popularity of dogs."
-- Aldous Huxley

"Reverence: the spiritual attitude of a man to a god and a dog to a man."
-- Ambrose Bierce

"Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in."
-- Mark Twain

"Man is a dog's idea of what God should be."
-- Holbrook Jackson

"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person."
-- Andrew A. Rooney

"To his dog, every man is King; hence the constant popularity of dogs."
-- Aldous Huxley

"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons."
-- James Thurber

"Reverence: the spiritual attitude of a man to a god and a dog to a man."
-- Ambrose Bierce

"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend:
and inside a dog, it's too dark to read."
-- Groucho Marx

"A dog is not "almost human," and I know of no greater insult to the canine race than to describe it as such."
-- John Holmes

"If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience."
-- Woodrow Wilson

"The disposition of noble dogs is to be gentle with people they know and the opposite with those they don't know...How, then, can the dog be anything other than a lover of learning since it defines what's its own and what's alien."
-- Plato

"The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too."
-- Samuel Butler

"No man can be condemed for owning a dog. As long as he has a dog, he has a friend; and the poorer he gets, the better friend he has."
-- Will Rogers

"Recollect that the Almighty, who gave the dog to be companion of our pleasures and our toils, hath invested him with a nature noble and incapable of deceit."
--Sir Walter Scott

"To err is human:To forgive, canine."
-- Anonymous

"I talk to him when I'm lonesome like, and I'm sure he understands. When he looks at me so attentively, and gently licks my hands; Then he rubs his nose on my tailored clothes, but I never say naught thereat, For the good Lord knows I can buy more clothes, but never a friend like that!"
-- W. Dayton Wedgefarth

"In the world which we know, among the different and primitive geniuses that preside over the evolution of the several species, there exists not one, excepting that of the dog, that ever gave a thought to the presence of man."
-- Maurice Maeterlinck - 'Our Friend, The Dog'

"A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of."
--Unknown

In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn’t merely try to train him to be semihuman. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog.
--Edward Hoagland (b. 1932), U.S. novelist, essayist. "Dogs and the Tug of Life," in Harper’s (New York, Feb. 1975; repr. in Heart’s Desire, 1988).

"Dog. A kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the world’s worship."
--Ambrose Bierce (1842 ­ 1914), U.S. author. The Devil’s Dictionary (1881 ­ 1906).

"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."
--Ann Landers

"The dog was created specially for children. He is the god of frolic."
--Henry Ward Beecher

"Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out
the window."
--Steve Bluestone

"If you don't own a dog, at least one, there is not necessarily anything wrong with you, but there may be something wrong with
your life."
--Roger Caras, A Celebration of Dogs

"Our dogs, like our shoes, are comfortable. They might be a bit out of shape and a little worn around the edges, but they fit well."
--Bonnie Wilcox, Old Dogs, Old Friends

"If you wish the dog to follow you, feed him."
-- Unknown

"It's hard to teach an old dog new tricks."
-- Unknown

"Let sleeping dogs lie."
-- Unknown

"Every dog must have his day."
-- Jonathan Swift

"If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience."
-- Woodrow Wilson

"A piece of grass a day keeps the vet away"
-- Unknown Dog

"All animals except man know that the ultimate of life is to enjoy it."
-- Samuel Butler

"Animals have these advantages over man: They have no theologians to instruct them, their funerals cost them nothing, and no one starts lawsuits over their wills."
-- Voltaire

"Animals in different countries have different expressions just as the people in different countries differ in expression."
-- Gertrude Stein

"The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too."
-- Samuel Butler

"All animals, except man, know that the principal business of life is to enjoy it -- and they do enjoy it as much as man and other circumstances will allow."
-- Samuel Butler

"Three things it is best to avoid: a strange dog, a flood, and a man who thinks he is wise."
-- Welsh Proverb

"Rambunctious, rumbustious, delinquent dogs become angelic when sitting."
-- Dr. Ian Dunbar

"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."
-- Ann Landers


"In dog years I'm dead"
-- Unknown


"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."
-- Dave Barry


"I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl."
-- Penny Ward Moser

"Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend, and inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
-- Groucho Marx


"The scientific name for an animal that doesn't either run from or fight its enemies is lunch."
-- Michael Friedman



"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down."
-- Robert Benchley



"Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac who stays up all night wondering if there really is a Dog?"
-- Unknown


"I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers."
-- Unknown


"I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves."
-- August Strindberg


"No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation."
--
Fran Lebowitz

"Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul- chicken, pork, half cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!"
-- Anne
Tyler

"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult."
-- Rita Rudner


"My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money."
-- Joe Weinstein


"Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant."
-- Unknown


"You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets."
-- Nora Ephron


"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."
-- Ann Landers


"Women and cats will do as they please and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein


"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him."
-- Dereke Bruce, Taipei, Taiwan


"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."
-- Ben Williams


"When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem." --
Edward Abbey


"Cat's Motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it."
-- Unknown


"No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does."
-- Christopher Morley


"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself."
-- Josh Billings


"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person." --
Andrew A. Rooney

"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion"
-- Unknown


"I care not for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it."
-- Abraham Lincoln


"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went."
-- Unknown


"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man."
-- Mark Twain

"Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane."
-- Smiley Blanton


"I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts."
-- John Steinbeck


"My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpets or ruin our lives."
-- Rita
Rudner

"If you think that something small cannot make a difference - try going to sleep with a mosquito in the room."
-- Unknown

"I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet. That may be. But I think there's one other thing that separates us from animals -- we aren't afraid of vacuum cleaners."
-- Jeff Stilson

"Man is an animal that makes bargains; no other animal does this - one dog does not change a bone with another."
-- Adam Smith

"If your dog doesn't like someone you probably shouldn't either."
-- Unknown

"He who is cruel to animals becomes hard also in his dealings with men. We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals."
-- Immanuel Kant

"Old dogs, like old shoes, are comfortable. They might be a bit out of shape and a little worn around the edges, but they fit well."
-- Bonnie Wilcox 'Old Dogs, Old Friends'

"The more people I meet the more I like my dog"
-- Unknown

"In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn't merely try to train him to be semihuman. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog."
-- Edward Hoagland

"It's not much of a tail, but I'm sort-of attatched to it."
-- Eeyore

"I once decided not to date a guy because he wasn't excited to meet my dog. I mean, this was like not wanting to meet my mother."
-- Bonnie Schacter, Founder of the Single Pet Owner's Society Singles Group

"Dogs are our link to paradise. They don't know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a
dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring--it was peace."
-- Milan Kundera

"I would rather see the portrait of a dog that I know, than all the allegorical paintings they can show me in the world."
-- Samuel Johnson

"There is the little matter of disposal of droppings in which the cat is far ahead of it's rivals. The dog is somehow thrilled by what he or any of this friends have produced, hates to leave it, adores smelling it, and sometimes eats it . . . The cat covers it up if he can. . ."
-- Paul Gallico

"When you feed dog tired at night, it may be because you've growled all day long."
-- Unknown

 

"You do not own a dog, the dog owns you."
-- Unknown

I Dog Quotes Part II I


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