1. Stand between the fighters and ask, "What's the problem here?" Listen to both fighters (and you may need to remind them to talk one at a time!) After listening, the mediator says, "I think the problem must be...." See if the fighters agree.
2. Ask the fighters to list some ideas for solving the problem. If they CAN'T, then the mediator suggests some.
3. Ask the fighters to agree on ONE way to solve the problem.
4. Have the fighters shake hands.

Session One:

1. Have a class meeting. Tell the students that you have a plan that can help them to solve problems that might happen on the playground or in the classroom. Tell them that there are MANY good plans for making peace, but this one only has four steps to remember!
2. Introduce the steps to the peace plan by giving students copies, or by placing a large poster in the classroom. Tell the students that there is MORE to the peace plan than just memorizing the steps. We need to practice making them work!
3. Let's look at step one. IGNORING is for the little things. Can you think of a time when it's best to just ignore someone? Usually teasing, calling names, making faces, or using rude words are things that people do to get our attention. People are trying to control us by making us mad or upset. Ignoring them shows them that they DON'T have any power over us! (See if students can give some examples. Have students act one out.)
4. When you CAN'T ignore a problem, the next step is to try talking it over. The BIG THING TO REMEMBER here is to talk using respect! (See if students can give some examples. Have students act one out.)
5. When you can't seem to talk to another person, the next step is to get another student to help you. This person is called a mediator, and we'll need to do a lot of practice before we can make this step work. Let's try one now. (This will need some direction the first time. Have two volunteers act out this situation: PAT wants to play tag in the area beside the shade tree. JAMIE wants PAT to play kickball instead. Neither one can agree, so they ask for a MEDIATOR'S help. The mediator stands between the two students, and asks "What's the problem here?" PAT says "I want to play tag." JAMIE says "I want to play kickball." The MEDIATOR says, "It looks like you can't agree what to play. How can we solve this problem? Would you agree to do rock-paper-scissors to decide?" PAT and JAMIE agree. They do rock-paper-scissors and JAMIE wins. The MEDIATOR asks if the problem is solved, and asks JAMIE and PAT to shake hands over their agreement.)
6. If a student mediator can't get the problem worked out, ask a teacher to help you mediate. Remember, you might have to make an appointment to work it out a little later!

1. Read Charlotte Zolotow's book, Big Brother. Let the students all recite the line, And she cried... each time it comes up.
2. Can you tell about a time when you can solve a problem by just ignoring someone who is trying to tease you? (If students can't think of a time, demonstrate making faces at someone. Exagerrate! The students really enjoy it when the teacher pretends to be the "troublemaker!")
3. Let's act out a few more times when we can prevent a problem by just ignoring things:
           a. Two students are walking down the hall. One sticks out his/her tongue. The other looks the other way and just keeps walking.
           b. A student is using bad language. (When we act this one out, we don't actually say "bad words." We agree at the beginning of class to pretend that it's really bad to call someone a pumpkin. The "act" really comes out funny, but the students get the point!) One student is sitting, reading a book, as another walks around him/her saying "pumpkin, pumpkin, pumpkin." The sitting student just shrugs his/her shoulders and keeps reading.
   
4. After showing how a student can successfully AVOID a problem by ignoring, act each situation out to show what happens when a student doesn't ignore little things:
            Two students are walking down the hall. One sticks out his/her tongue, the other does it too. Then the first student starts calling names. The second joins in. Soon they are pushing, shoving, and angry. THIS PROBLEM COULD HAVE BEEN PREVENTED!

1. MOST of the time, we can solve our problems by just talking things over.The important thing to remember here is to talk to other people the way you would want to be talked to.

           a. First, let's see what happens if we don't use respect:

            JAMIE is working a puzzle during an indoor recess. JAMIE needs to go get a kleenex. PAT comes to the table and begins working the puzzle. JAMIE returns and yells at PAT: "Why did you take my puzzle?" PAT yells back: "It was just sitting here on the table..."And the fight goes on....

           b. Let's see what happens if JUST ONE of the students starts talking with respect:

            JAMIE is working a puzzle during an indoor recess. JAMIE needs to go get a kleenex. PAT comes to the table and begins working the puzzle. JAMIE returns and yells at PAT: "Why did you take my puzzle?" PAT does not yell. PAT says, "I didn't realize the puzzle was yours. No one was at the table so I thought it was okay to do the puzzle." JAMIE cools down and a fight is avoided.

2. Here are some other situations where talking with respect can prevent problems:

           a. JAMIE gets in front of PAT in line. PAT tells JAMIE, in a calm but firm voice, "JAMIE, I was in line first. You can get in back of me." (If PAT immediately starts yelling at JAMIE, JAMIE is not likely to move. If PAT speaks politely, JAMIE might move rather than make a big deal of it.)
           b. JAMIE respectfully tells PAT, "I wish you wouldn't draw the same kind of dinosaur as I am. We're going to put our pictures up in the hall, and it would be better if all the dinosaurs looked different," instead of saying, "PAT, why are you always coping what I do?"