Love the destruction thread, got a lot of laughs! Now, a quiz for those of you raising a puppy.

Does your pup exhibit several distinct personalities?

Earnie has several modes. 

1. Loverboy. This is the most common mode, best observed right after a nap,

or after being sprung from his crate when we had to leave him for a while.

Snuggles, talks, rolls over for tummy rub, soft as butter.

2. The Lone Haranguer. Becky & The Pigger really hate this one. He's bored,

so they're expected to put up with his chasing, woobie snatching, toy

thieving, biting, barking, and general harassment.

3. Mr. Snapper. During this personality switch, he becomes a real tough

guy. Snaps at everything with audible whacking sound, including Michael & I

as well as the girls. Mild correction required here if you want to be

wearing clothes after this mood passes. Has already ruined one of Michael's

favorite skirts. Full of little holes, looks like shot with buckshot.

4. Holy Terror. Runs about the house, warp 9 or faster, biting everything,

ricocheting off tables, chairs, Becky, Peggy Sue, my legs, etc. Fails to

negotiate turn into kitchen, slides across linoleum floor on backside.

Humps woobies, Peggy Sue, tries to hump Becky [so far a dangerous and

unsuccessful endeavor] and is eventually reined in by Becky who knocks him

down and gives him a few "nose jabs" for good measure.

5. Sleeping. This is one of my favorites, as well as a favorite of Becky &

The Pigger. Ah, puppies!

Becky [He tries to hump me *one more time* and he's not gonna need to go to the vets to get neutered!!!]

Peggy Sue [Ha! Now Becky has two blondes to deal with! Blondes rule! ]

Earnie [Hahahahahaha! Here comes Mr. Snapper, fast as fast can beeeeee!

You'll never get meeeee! Ooof! Hey Becky, that hurt! oof! Oof!]

Michael & Scotty

The Golden Gang

Becky; The Red Scourge of Squirrels, Feline Track Coach

Peggy Sue; Pixie, Lover of Every Creature; Fecal Gourmet

Earnie; Marriage Test, Beckys Best Buddy, Chewin' Machine

Hallelujah!! The quarantine is over! For the last 3 months we have not allowed any of the dogs

out of our yard because of the parvovirus epidemic here in the NW. Now Earnie has had all his

shots, we can feel a little safer. Putting it mildly, we were **all** getting booorrreeed. Yawn.

Record rains here again this year, and the field behind the house is flooded. This field is Becky

& The Piggers absolute favorite spot to retrieve tennis balls whacked 100 yards or so out into

the field, through the water. This was Earnies first trip into the fields and trails below the

house. He was pretty excited! When I began whacking tennis balls with my Spalding racket,

and Becky [A.K.A. the Red Rocket] romped, swam, and charged through the mud to find

them, he was absolutely mystified. Peggy Sue charged off in hot pursuit of a ball. Earnie was

still mystified. Plus, why are those two fools running through all that mud & water and getting

all wet? Earnie didn't catch on to the long retrieves, but by throwing tennis balls short distances

he knew what to do. The problem with that this you **must** be sure Becky doesn't see the

tennis ball leave your hand, as she would run through fire, razor blades, broken glass, and over

the top of Earnie to fetch a ball. The Tank MacNamara of the dog world. Everybody got a

great workout, Earnie ran through the fields with the girls off lead with much adolescent

enthusiasm, if not much grace. He's still clumsy at 5 months, all legs. One large benefit of all

this is--they're ALL sleeping! 

Becky [At Last! I thought I had retrieved my *last* tennis ball--! Bonsai! Outa my way, suckers!]

Peggy Sue [Hey Earnie, try to catch me and get my tennis ball out here in this open field! See, you're not so fast, are you? Heeheehee!]

Earnie [Pantpantpuffpuff wow! Lookit that red bitch run! Do you think I'll ever catch her?] 

Michael & Scotty

The Golden Gang

Becky; The Red Scourge of Squirrels, Feline Track Coach

Peggy Sue; Pixie, Lover of Every Creature; Fecal Gourmet

Earnie; Marriage Test, Beckys Best Buddy, Chewin' Machine

an accident in the house for several weeks. Shortly after coming home from the hospital, we

noticed he had one in the living room. Another at the end of the hallway where my bedroom is,

outside the door. The kicker was when he waltzed into the family room, did not ask to go out,

no barking, whining, or any of the usual signs of distress--just tipped up his chin, stretched a

bit, and proceeded to piddle a puddle approximately the size [and color] of Lake Erie. He was

so engrossed in what he was doing that clapping, shouting, screaming, did nothing. Finally a

well-aimed magazine stopped the flow, by now washing the Presto-Logs off the hearth, and we

got him outside where he finished his business.

Upon a bit of investigation we discovered the water bowl, a large plastic dishpan capable of

holding about 2 gallons of water, was at least 2 qts. low. This was filled about an hour before.

Becky & the Pigger usually drink once, maybe twice a day. We are pretty certain Earnie drank

the whole 2 qts. Dang. Perhaps what we have here is a Golden capable of high desert hunting

in the dead of summer. He could accompany Camels as they cross the Gobi Desert. If he

could hold it. We have since removed the water dish, and offer a couple of drinks a day. Does

my boy have a drinking problem? He seems fine physically, no bladder problems. Could he be

doing this because the cold water feels good on his sore gums? We are giving him a few ice

cubes a day and he just holds them in his mouth. Any suggestions? OK to withhold the water? 

Becky [Now you know why he's a soft dog. The little arfer is water-logged!]

Peggy Sue [I really admired the size of that puddle--!]

Earnie [Slurp slurp slurp belch piss drink slurp] 

Michael & Scotty

The Golden Gang

Becky; The Red Scourge of Squirrels, Feline Track Coach

Peggy Sue; Pixie, Lover of Every Creature; Fecal Gourmet

Earnie; Marriage Test, Beckys Best Buddy, Chewin' Machine

Thanks to all for your suggestions, even those of you who would have had me calling 911 over

Earnies enormous water appetite. Always best to sort out the horses before you look for the

zebras, though. The winner [s] are the suggestions [1] limit his water to two or three times a

day, watch what the other dogs drink and give him the same, and [2] fill an old gym sock with

ice cubes and give it to him to chew on. The iced sock is thanks to Helen Redlus, resident

genius and all around nice person. Earnie really loves these icesockles, he tosses 'em, scoots

'em, gums 'em, and holds 'em in his bucket-sized mouth and sighs loudly, as if in relief.

It was pointed out by some extremely knowledgeable folks, the McGuires for example, that

there is no normal behavior at this stage [6 mos.] except abnormal. Roianne Cox, Earnie's

excellent breeder, also warned us of this stage. We're learning, thanks to your help. We thank

you and Earnie [AKA the Water Tanker] tanks you. 

Becky [Hoo, boy, I'm sure glad I don't have to step over those puddles anymore. Whew!]

Peggy Sue [Is Mister Pister OK now? I thought maybe you were gonna let us go in the house. I could recycle without having to get my feet wet!]

Earnie [I LOVE this icesockle! Slurpslurpchewgrindmunchahhhhhhhreliefmyteethhurtowowowowowowow!] 

Michael & Scotty

The Golden Gang

Becky; The Red Scourge of Squirrels, Feline Track Coach

Peggy Sue; Pixie, Lover of Every Creature; Fecal Gourmet

Earnie; Marriage Test, Beckys Best Buddy, Chewin' Machine

Golden weather, here. I'm sure most of you have been following the ice storms, rain, flooding,

snow, etc. we are suffering here in the NW. We have been lucky so far. Haven't lost power. If

we do, we are all electric and will have to move into the travel trailer until the power comes on.

Took the dogs for our walk this AM in full Gore-Tex gear. Us, not the dogs. Wind, heavy

rain, some snow. The trail below the house is impassable, under two feet of water. The big

meadow is a lake. The dogs love it. Becky & The Pigger wallow in it, chase sticks, swim, run

along the edge of it in a foot of water. Earnie still doesn't see the allure of swimming in ice

water. I think he prefers his couch and my lap. Smart dog. Earnie has also learned that if he's

off-lead, we can't catch him if he doesn't want to be caught. Hmmmm. Need some obedience

training here. If I weren't so weak from the surgery, I would simply chase him down. Years

ago, while jogging with a friend on a 90 degree day, my Doberman decided we couldn't catch

her, either. Ha. Chased her for 10 miles [no exaggeration!] before she dropped from

exhaustion. Grabbed her under her collar, gave her my fiercest look, and told her to come

when I called her! She never ran from me again. Somewhere in her pea-brain, she figured I

could catch her. Perhaps by summer I will be able to catch the Earnster. By then, we will have

done some obedience with him, too. Earnie has two baby teeth left, an upper and a lower fang.

Too cute! He continues to enjoy his icesockles, seems to easethe teething! Well, gotta go.

Better get the boat out just in case. Great weather. 

Becky [This IS great weather! Ice, snow, high water! What could be better? And ducks, thousands of ducks! Heaven---]

Peggy Sue [Yeah! Way cool! And lots of neat dead stuff always washes up when it floods like this! MMmmmmmmm!]

Earnie [OK, I've seen the lake. Now can we go back to the house? I wanna lay on my couch. You broads are goofy. Women. Humph!] 

Michael & Scotty

The Golden Gang

Becky; The Red Scourge of Squirrels, Feline Track Coach

Peggy Sue; Pixie, Lover of Every Creature; Fecal Gourmet

Earnie; Marriage Test, Beckys Best Buddy, Chewin' Machine

Thought I'd run this by the list and see if anyone elses pup "suffers" from this syndrome.

Earnie is now 5 1/2 months. A perfect [well, almost] littlegentleman. Easy going, slow moving

[except if food is involved] great temperament. He and the girls walk 3 miles a day on lead,

and are let off lead in a huge field where I bat tennis balls for them and run them until they [and

myself] are exhausted. No lack of exercise for these dogs. Most days, after the walk, the dogs

nap. Earnie lacks the hard body and stamina of the girls, being a pup. So he sleeps the most.

But---with *no* notice--he's laying on the floor, apparently snoozing one moment. His head

comes off the carpet. He climbs to his feet. Stretches. And----OFF HE GOES!

Runs across the family room, down the hall, warp 9. Up the stairs, down the stairs, folds his

legs and just slides down the carpeted stairway. Wild thing. Down the hall again, huffing and

puffing all the way. Uses the Futon for a flip turn. Oooooops, Peggy Sue was asleep on the

Futon. Now she's ticked off. She bellows at the intruder. This brings [OH NO!] the Red Bitch

out of the kennel she was napping in. Stiff legged, hair on end. Take-charge attitude. Earnie is

trapped on the end of the Futon. Peggy Sue is snarling at him, Becky is in his face. What to

do? So over them he leaps, and rocket man is off again! This time when he flies down the hall

and through the door, Becky pins him. Classic, just like on TV. Gives him a couple of settle-

down-Buster nose jabs. Everything returns to normal for the rest of the evening. Rocket Man

is sleeping. The girls return to their naps. This scene will be repeated several times during the

week. Love it. 

Becky [Settle DOWN ya little twerp, or I'll kick your ass into Friday!]

Peggy Sue [ I'm getting a beauty nap here, get outa my face or I'll bite you where you like it the least!]

Earnie [Fast as fast can beeeeee! Betcha can't catch meeeeee! Wheeeee! Guys just gotta have fun!] 

Michael & Scotty

The Golden Gang

Becky; The Red Scourge of Squirrels, Feline Track Coach

Peggy Sue; Pixie, Lover of Every Creature; Fecal Gourmet

Earnie; Marriage Test, Beckys Best Buddy, Chewin' Machine

As many of you on the list know, we spend a *lot* of time in the woods with our dogs. We

hunt mushrooms, hike, etc. and the dogs accompany us. If we chose to leave them home

because of hunting season, they wouldn't be with us very often. There is almost no time when

there isn't a hunting season of some sort going on out here in the NW. The Neanderthals are

always shooting something. [Flame Bait! Have at it!] Also, prime mushroom hunting is during

deer & elk seasons. While in the woods we hang bells on the dogs [bear bells] and put blaze

orange vests on them. No kidding. So far, so good. No shots have been fired our way. For the

record, it's legal to shoot a dog for harassing wildlife out here. I guess if a hunter makes a

mistake, or purposely shoots a dog, he can always claim the dog was chasing deer. For this

reason, I always carry a large calibre weapon, usually concealed. Yes, I have a permit. I believe

I would be rather angry if my dog were shot for no reason. If the dog is harassing wildlife and

gets shot, shame on me. If the dog is shot for no good reason--the shooter is going to suffer

the consequences. This is called Darwinism. 

Becky [You mean I could get shot for deer chasing???]

Peggy Sue [Yeah, but you can eat deer poop legally.]

Earnie [If I catch a deer--can I eat it?] 

Michael & Scotty

The Golden Gang

Becky; The Red Scourge of Squirrels, Feline Track Coach

Peggy Sue; Pixie, Lover of Every Creature; Fecal Gourmet

Earnie; Marriage Test, Beckys Best Buddy, Chewin' Machine

Living in SW Washington State; USA

Sorry we missed a few postings, just got back from hiking the jungles of the Yucatan and

found 800 messages awaiting us. On the question of poop disposal, I will repeat last years

posting of my methodology. Of course, as most of you know, we are the proud owners of the

**perfect** feces recycling system, none other than the Fecal Gourmet; Peggy Sue. Now, by

running the feces deposited in your yard through an animal one more time [doesn't have to be

a dog, BTW. Mother-in-law, bad neighbor, anybody will do] you naturally end up with less

bulk than if you only use the food once. Yes, of course you will end up with some waste

which must be dealt with. But you have reduced the size of the problem. Just a suggestion.

Now, the solution!

I tapped into the sewer clean-out just outside the house. Most homes on a city sewer will have

an outside clean-out as well as most septic systems, too. I extended a 4" pipe up about 2' and

installed a removeable cap on it. Whatever Peggy Sue doesn't eat goes into the pipe, and into

the city sewer system. You may also use this clean-out to dump your travel trailer tanks

provided you use bio-degradable chemicals in your tanks. This has worked well for us, no

odors, no flies, no problems.

I have to admit I got a good chuckle out of all the suggestions to stop poop-eating. Oh, yeah,

tried 'em all. In most cases, a poop eating dog is a poop eating dog. All that **really** works

is to follow the dog and clean up immediately. Or get some recipes for Poop Pies, Feces

Pieces, etc. to give your dog some variety. 

Becky [Oh no, not burm burrito time again, is it?]

Peggy Sue [Dads dooley disposal really foils me, if I'm not quick!]

Earnie [Ah, geez, this is the **weirdest** damned family--] 

Michael & Scotty

The Golden Gang

Becky; The Red Scourge of Squirrels, Feline Track Coach

Peggy Sue; Pixie, Lover of Every Creature; Fecal Gourmet

Earnie; Marriage Test, Beckys Best Buddy, Chewin' Machine

Living in SW Washington State; USA

WARNING!!!! Possible "R" rating!

Just had to tell the list how we are handling Earnies uh, humping problem. No, for HIM it's no

problem. However, for Becky & The Pigger [and I don't like the way he's watching me] it's a

problem. Caught all the solutions people provided concerning the "Humpmaster" last week.

Saltpeter? Nah. We came up with a workable solution. At least we like it, we're not sure the Big

Teddy likes it. Earnie, being 6 months now, has a **full load** of testosterone. Raging

hormones. Rough play with the girls inevitably leads to----humping! Now, while this type of

activity really doesn't bother human pack members around here, we haven't [yet] been on the

receiving end [no pun intended] of Earnies immoral maneuvers. Pity the poor girls! Peggy Sue,

poor passive little creature has been hassled ad nauseum. Becky gets really P.O.ed and

grumpy. So, we had to stop Earnie from buggering, er, bugging the girls. The command when

we see the problem emerging is: NO HUMPING!!!!! in a huge voice. Now, sometimes, if he's

already started, he falls off the girls onto his side where he air-humps while winding down like

a cheap watch. Usually, if we catch him in time, we tell him to "go get Hump-D-Bear. Hump-

D-Bear [or Bugger Bear, never been sure] is a badly tattered, no nosed, one-eyed 2 foot tall

oversexed pleasure Teddy. He/she is all that remains of the woobies once roaming free around

our home, until Earnie the Scourge killed 'em all, ate their guts, and ripped up the empty body

shells. We figure this must be love. Strange relationship, this pup & the Bear. Appears to be

primarily a physical attraction. He never sends flowers, or buys dinner and wine. Little

foreplay. Sure, he's good looking, but I should think the bear would reach it's limit at some

point. For the time being, the relationship works. Don't mess with success, right? ;-] 

Becky [DADDDDDDDD!!!! Get this creep off me before I remodel his face!!]

Peggy Sue [Why can't he have normal bad habits--like poop eating? ]

Earnie [Hey Beaaarrrrr! C'merrrreeeee Bearrrrr! I love youuuuuu!] Hump-D-Bear [I have no idea how this relationship started. At least he didn't kill me.] 

Michael & Scotty

The Golden Gang

Becky; The Red Scourge of Squirrels, Feline Track Coach

Peggy Sue; Pixie, Lover of Every Creature; Fecal Gourmet

Earnie; Marriage Test, Beckys Best Buddy, Chewin' Machine

Living in SW Washington State; USA

Humper"; and as you can see, we have changed our signature to comply with his wishes. We

tried in vain to explain to him that he is a HUNTING dog. He insists that this is a misnomer,

what the books actually should have said was HUMPING dog. Whatever. He certainly takes

pleasure from both activities. As I write this, he's at my feet abusing Hump-D-Bear. All I can

say is I don't know where he finds the energy for his amorous activities after a 5 mile run today

and a bath. We even show rinsed him so he'd smell good to his bear. Perhaps we should

regard him as a role model. Beats the heck out of Dennis Rodman or Madonna. At least Earnie

is true to Hump-D-Bear. So far. 

Becky [Dad! I don't like the gleam in Earnies eye---!]

Peggy Sue [Oh no! The Fecal Gourmet and The Great White Humper in the same

family---!]

Earnie [You're jealous. At least I'm a famous lover, not a berm-burrito affaciendo!]

Hump-D-Bear [No relief in sight----please, please, buy him that Speaker of

the House doll--!]

Michael & Scotty

The Golden Gang

Becky; The Red Scourge of Squirrels, Feline Track Coach

Peggy Sue; Pixie, Lover of Every Creature; Fecal Gourmet

Earnie; Marriage Test, Great White Humper

Living in SW Washington State; USA

<P

ALIGN="CENTER"