On 7-17-98 I wrote a song for .-)'s birthday. Sing it to the tune of They Might Be Giant's "It's Not My Birthday."
Replace the .-) with "Pete" when singing.
It's Not .-)'s Birthday
One-Eyed Pete took his ship across the Atlantic Ocean
And killed a giant squid and sharks and other pirates
And he stole ivory from Africans, emeralds from Columbians, and coffee beans from Mexicans
As he sails along with his crew of criminals
he tries to find another ship to jump aboard and to take
And his ship travels across the world
Trying to find the lost treasure
Trying to go where it's been uninvited
It's not .-)'s birthday
it's not today
It's not .-)'s birthday so why do you lunge out at .-)
If you see .-)'s ship coming onto your beach
you can be sure that he's going to ransack the town
And .-)'s not the only dust his mother raised
So .-)'s back now and he's brought along his riches from abroad
and now it's time for him to take off on a holiday
to travel peacefully across the USA
and to rest a lot and then go sightseeing
But one day .-) will be back out there again
with a navy taking any country he wants
His ship travels all around the world
He'll burn England to the ground
and command his ship all full of criminals
It's not .-)'s birthday
it's not today
It's not .-)'s birthday even though it might seem that way
If you see .-) travel by car or by a plane
you will know that he doesn't mean you any harm
Just watch out if he's practicing on
how to swashbuckle as good as Zorro
