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by Sorcha
Sometimes, it's
hard to know when you've crossed that fine line between
"devoted fan" and "obsessed stalker". With
that in mind, I've devised these little guidelines to help you
remember what is and is not appropriate behavior as regards to
Shane McMahon. If you find yourself exhibiting more than one or
two of the "not okay" behaviors below, you need to get
yourself to a doctor - preferably one far away from me. If you
have an "OKAY OR NOT OKAY?" you would like to contribute, email it
to ShaneLvr@aol.com !
It is okay to want
Shane's autograph so you can frame it and hang it on your wall.
It is NOT
okay to want a sample
of Shane's DNA so you can clone him in your secret laboratory.
It is okay to wonder what Shane likes to eat.
It is NOT
okay to wonder what
he likes to eat because you're planning to kidnap him and lock
him in your specially-constructed "Pleasure Dungeon" in
the basement.
It is okay to carry a Shane-themed sign to a live show to try to
get Shane's attention.
It is NOT okay to assassinate an elected official to
try to get Shane's attention.
It is okay to wait around behind the arena after the show in the
hopes that Shane will come out and sign autographs.
It is NOT
okay to wait around
behind Shane's house in the middle of the night in the hopes that
he will come out and ask you to marry him.
It is okay to want to send Shane flowers.
It is NOT okay to want to send Shane your left ear.
It is okay to wonder how Shane would answer the age-old question,
"boxers or briefs?"
It is NOT
okay to steal his luggage from
his hotel in an attempt to find out.
It is okay to call a cuddly stuffed animal "Shane."
It is NOT okay to call your significant other
"Shane" during intimate moments, unless that happens to
be his name.
It is okay to buy a little bottle of Shane's favorite cologne.
It is NOT okay to force your significant other to
wear it day and night despite his being deathly allergic to it.
It is okay to have someone tape WWF on the nights when you have
to work, so you don't miss a single Shane moment.
It is NOT okay to have a private investigator follow
Shane around on the days when you have to work, so you don't miss
a single Shane moment.
It is okay to envy Marissa McMahon.
It is NOT okay to attempt to gradually assume her
identity.
From LuvKiyomi@aol.com :
It is okay to buy lots of posters of Shane that were shot by a
person hired to do that job.
It is NOT okay to stalk Shane and take pictures of
him yourself to hang on your wall.
From ClawMusic1@aol.com :
It is okay for you to want Shane and Marissa to get a divorce.
It is NOT okay to hire two divorce lawyers and start
the divorce court process.
From Cowpat123@aol.com:
It is okay to feel bad whenever Shane
is hit.
It is NOT okay to scream "Dear God, are you all
right?!?" at your Shane poster when Shane is hit.
From VIGRICH@aol.com:
It is okay to think Shane McMahon is hot.
It is NOT okay to make your boyfriend get plastic
surgery in order to look like him.
It is okay to name your child after Shane.
It is NOT okay to tell your child that Shane is his/her real father.
From cpanos1964@aol.com
It is okay to email WWE and demand for Shane to come back.
It is NOT okay to go to Shane's house and demand him to come back (which I would do if it would make him come back!).
From HHHgrl523@aol.com
It is okay to want Shane to become general manager of Raw.
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