DESIRE: My guest tonight is the moderator of a 'ahem' famous wrestling game, due to certain circumstances he has asked that he remain anonymous. Evening Mr Anonymous, may I call you Nick? MR ANONAMOUS: I'd rather you didn't. DESIRE: Fair enough. Your new federation..... R**g W**s III, what happened to R**g W**s I and II? and what is the difference? MAN NOT CALLED NICK: Tough questions right off the bat, obviously you're not pulling your punches tonight Mr Desire. R**g W**s III... why? urrm............ can I come back to that one. DESIRE: OK, match reports, R**g W**s III doesn't seem to have any, not entirely dissimilar to Ring Wars I and II really? one line match summary... lets face it, it's rubbish isn't i.... GEEZER WHO ABSOLUTLY IS NOT CALLED NICK: Let me stop you there, my players don't want three page match reports, no..... I think summaries are much better and even better is a summary of a summary, thus you get one line. There is a reason for this. DESIRE: Oh there is, this should be good. LOOKS LIKE A NICK, WILL PROBABLY END UP IN THE NICK BUT IN ACTUAL FACT ISN'T A NICK: Well obviously there must be a reason. Of course there is a reason, you don't think I just woke up one morning and though... one line summaries, no, I had to think it over for a long while, absolutely there is a reason. DESIRE: And it is. ISN'T A NICK BUT DON'T LEAVE ANY VALUABLES AROUND ELSE HE'LL NICK EM: Urrmm....... it's all down to fairness, let's say for example I had two wrestlers, I haven't but let's just say I had for arguments sake. DJ Chalky and urrmm... know any other wrestlers Mr Desire. DESIRE: BWA World champion Iron Warrior! ????????: Right, I have a match report sheet, at the top it says Iron Warrior Vs DJ Chalky.. DESIRE: So far so good. N?I?C?K: At the bottom it say's for example DJ Chalky pins Iron Warrior following a Top Rope Frankensteiner. DESIRE: What's the stips? 'In Chalky's Dreams Match'? I suppose that is fair in a way, it gives everybody crap matches! no favoritism there I suppose. NI???CK: You've stumbled on my point there, I don't know how but you've stumbled on it somehow. Picture this, DJ Chalky sends in one line of tactics for the bout, something along the lines of 'puncth im in tha hed un till he drop ded!' and Iron Warrior would send a few thousand sheets of tactics..... kind of on par with a Encyclopedia Britanica, now a point for you Mr Desire, if I wrote out a match report, it would be all Iron Warrior and it would be a rather long bout thus DJ Chalky would receive a long match report for sending in no tactics, I don't believe this is right. DESIRE: OK, so let me summarize, Warrior send in loads of tactics, Chalky sends in bugger all tactics, so it isn't fair to give Chalky a long match report and thus both competitors get a one line 'ahem' summary. ????????: Yes, you've got there in the end! DESIRE: I'm sorry maybe I'm a bit thick, or maybe I've contracted something during this interview but, how is this fair to Warrior? ????????: A ha, this is the best bit, a masterstroke, if I may be so bold. You remember the empty page in between the Warrior Vs Chalky and the result, well that's for the player, if the player, i.e. Warrior, decides he wants a match report I say, write your own. DESIRE: So let's recap, player gets a sheet, basically blank except for a line at the bottom and top of the page, player fills in their own match report if they desire. ????????: I see you're coming around to my way of thinking Mr Desire. DESIRE: Oh dear. ????????: I'll ask you this Mr Desire, what do players complain about most from games? DESIRE: Probably crap or lack of match reports. ????????: Exactly, well in R**g W**s III no-one will complain about their match reports because they will write them themselves, a DJ Chalky will have no match report because he can't write and Warrior will have a detailed and exciting match. DESIRE: This might sound like a stupid question, but if the players write their own matches what is the point of joining R**g W**s III in the first place? ????????: For one important reason, the result, hey I decide that! DESIRE: Let's backtrack here then a little, earlier you said maybe DJ Chalky would win, how would this be possible, surly wouldn't Warrior murder him? ????????: You'll have to get your mind off these other two bit, forty page, angle ridden games, this is R**g W**s... well actually no it isn't, this is R**g W**s III! I have developed a totally new system when it comes to deciding who wins a match. DESIRE: Sounds interesting, are the bouts decided by tactics? stats? who has the best ring attire? ????????: I'd say it's a kind of stats system, I call it the Accounts Rating System. The way it works is each wrestler will send me a cheque for whatever they wish, the person who sends me the most money will win, very simple system, even you could understand that. DESIRE: I don't want to be picky, but maybe that's just a little bit unfair. ????????: I knew some people would say that, so I have altered the system slightly to eradicate this unfairness. Let's say one player sends me for example £2.00 and his opponent sends me £3.50 then I'll call the first player and say 'hello, it's me from R**g W**s III, will you reverse the charges?' then if they said yes, I'd say 'your opponent has sent £3.50, would you care to top this offer?' and he'd sa... DESIRE: Yes I think I've got the picture. So basically R**g W**s III is run on greed and corruption! ????????: Thanks very much, it's nice of you to say so. I figured let's get back to real life wrestling, wrestling for the 90's, I mean how could Hogan have beat Vader? I'll tell you how... money! Hogan had more money so Hogan won. R**g W**s III is the most realistic game on the market, end of story. DESIRE: Do you have any rankings then or do you give shots to whoever sends you the most money? ????????: That wouldn't be very fair now would it? of course I have ranking, but none of this won/lost record rubbish. My number one contender would be the person with the most money in his account and the man who is at the bottom of the ranking would have next to no money. DESIRE: I don't suppose you have a magazine with each turn? ????????: Certainly have, it's named 'V.L. R**g W**s III Mag'. DESIRE: So it's not all bad then, what does the V.L. stand for? ????????: Video List. It is actually a video list combined with a magazine, well it's actually a video list with the results wrot... scrawled on the back. And you thought Chris Mayle was a good business man eh? DESIRE: Talking of video's, a lot of people have told me they've ordered videos from you as long as two years ago, sent the cash and haven't received them, why is this? ????????: Quite simply, I keep changing address because I'm in great demand. DESIRE: You mean you keep getting hassled by adoring R**g W**s fans. ????????: No actually the fraud squad. DESIRE: I would really like to wind up this interview, but I'll just come back to the first question. Why R**g W**s III? is there any difference from R**g W**s I and II? ????????: Right I've got the answer, well kind of. Imagine washing powder, first there was Ariel, then there was Ariel Ultra and then there was Ariel Future Colour or something like that. It was all basically the same product, but if you change the name it kind of sounds better and if for example the product was crap in the first place, the new product would sound totally different and revamped and the customer says let's try this... you could say it CLEANS up a bad product. DESIRE: So lets see if I've got this right, R**g W**s III is exactly like R**g W**s II which was exactly like R**g W**s, all basically the same crap game. ????????: Hey I'll make a game moderator out of you yet Mr Desire. DESIRE: Anyway thanks for your time Mr Anonymous. ????????: Thank you and remember R**g W**s IIII Rules! the best Pay-By-Mail game on the planet. DESIRE: Don't you mean Play-By-Mail? ????????: .................no, hey Jase I've got these WCW Uncensored videos for sale, top card. Return to DESIRE NET homepage
web hosting • domain names web design • online games
