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'RAVISHING' ROB DIAMOND: " It's now time for the main event of Summer Stunner, hey, this IS the main event, baby it don't get no bigger! "
MR KAWADA: " Possibly the two greatest scientific wrestlers in the sport, well that's what they'd tell you anyway. "
He's Simply Stunning! Oooooooooowww!!! He's stunning, dazzling, you know that it's true, the girls get so excited, they don't know what to do, he'll steal your girl, break her heart, break your legs too! He's so stunning, dazzling, red hot but cool.
MR K: " Oh please! "
Through the curtain, strutting down the isle, the girls won't abmit it but they know he's style, got something to see, so get up close, there he goes, there he goes, striking a sexy pose. His bodies chiseled, washboard abs on show, you'd think he was sculptured by Michael Angelo, he's bold and he's cocky, future of wrestling, there's no way of stopping him, winning again.
ROB: " Absolutely, positively. "
He's stunning, dazzling, you know that it's true, the girls get so excited, they don't know what to do, he'll steal your girl, break her heart, break your legs too! He's so stunning, dazzling, red hot but cool. He's Simply Stunning! Oooooooooowww!!!
ROB: " Listen to that 'Simply Stunning' by Mariah Carey, what a song and what a babe. Look at Desires women, the sex goddess Miss Vamp. I my opinion this guy IS the future of wrestling and without doubt the greatest looking wrestler in the history of this great sport, by the way I'm the worlds best looking commentator if you were wondering. "
MR K: " Yeh, in your very biased opinion. Just how many titles has Desire won in his career anyway?
ROB: " Here comes the man, the valet Vamp and the seven foot bodyguard Raze. What an awesome threesome, baby. "
MR K: " Titles...............? Well Desire gets tangled up with Miss Tram....Vamp as Raze keeps an eye out for a real man.. "
ROB: " The fans now waiting for Jarres 'Orient Express', every fan in the Dome with the package tonight I'd say, but the fans can't help him once he hits the ring baby! "
MR K: " This wrestling machine doesn't need anybody, unlike your man. This man can easily outpower Desire, he can outbrawl Desire and I believe he can outwrestle Desire. "
ROB: " You know that's rubbish, everyone knows unless they've been cut off from civilization for the last few years that the future of wrestling IS Jason Desire, forget power and brawling, this match will be science versus science, and nobody can outwrestle Desire, nobody! "
MR K: " What's this I hear? doesn't sound like 'Orient Express'? "
Your bodies wide, well mine is too, just watch your mouth, or I'll sit on you! The word is out, better treat me right, cause I'm the king of cellulite.
ROB: " Haaaaa, Ha Ha Ha. "
Ham on, ham on, ham on wholewheat, alright?
MR K: " This isn't Kobashi's music! "
My zip has bust, my buckles break, I'm too much man for you to take, the pavement cracks, when I fall down, I've got more chins than China Town.
ROB: " maybe not, but it's quite fitting. Ha Ha Haaaaaaa. "
Well I've never used a phone booth, and I've never seen my toes, when I'm going to the movies, I take up seven rows.
ROB: " Ha Ha. Oh baby! "
Because I'm fat, I'm fat, jam bun, really really fat, you know I'm fat, I'm fat, ya know it, you know I'm fat, I'm fat, come on, ya know, don't call me podgy, portly or stout, just tell me once again, who's fat?"
MR K: " What the bloody hell was that? "
ROB: " Brilliant! Desire's mixing up the champs mind, switching his theme music for 'Weird Al' Yankovic's 'Fat', very appropriate too I'd say. "
MR K: " That's just plain insulting, Desire's in major trouble now Rob. The Package looks ready, hes got the 1994 UWO manager of the year, the entire Tokyo crowd on his side and hes got his trusty steel nunchuks just in case. "
ROB: " Kobashi's has got no business bringing them to the ring, this is a wrestling contest, not a bloody Bruce Lee movie. "
MR K: " Good tactics on the part of the Package. Desires going to get a good kicking tonight Rob. The bell goes and were underway, neither man looking eager to lock up. "
ROB: " Psyche out baby, that's where Desires big advantage is, in the brain department, Kobashis a bit brain dead in my opinion. "
MR K: " Kobashi moves in with a few karate kicks, Desire backs off with a moonwalk and a one finger salute. "
ROB: " Ha, brilliant move. This is what Desire has to do, frustrate the champ, get him off his game, baby. "
MR K: " Desire lunges forward, thumb to the eye, blocked by kobashi, Desire low kick, blocked by Kobashi, Desire big right hand, blocked by Kobashi. Desire drops down and rolls from the ring. "
ROB: " Smart move by Desire. Kobashi using his karate skills to block Jason's offence but its time out now K. "
MR K: " Kobashi follows Desire out of the ring, hes chasing him around the ring, Kobashi speeds past Raze and 'accidently' clotheslines him over the railing and the crowd love it. "
ROB: " Big mistake. Kobashi is going to find it tough enough against Desire, now hes pissed off the big man, oh dear. "
MR K: " Desire rolls in, followed quickly by Kobashi. Desire kicks Kobashi in the head, throws him into the corner and Jason lets loose with those reverse knife edges of his, each shot more devastating than the last! "
ROB: " Irish whip by Desire, reverse by Kobashi, Desire hits the turnbuckle hard, staggers out, owww big clothesline by the Package. "
MR K: " Wow, that one nearly took off Desires head, theres that power advantage I talked about earlier. Kobashi picks up Desire, whips him to ropes, big powerslam! "
ROB: " Jason looks a bit worse for wear as Kobashi picks him up, puts him on the turnbuckle, this looks bad for the stunning one, Kobashi goes to the top, hooks in a belly-to-belly suplex. Down he goes, Kobashi that is, thumb to the eye by Desire, top rope knee drop by Desire. "
MR K: " Kobashis karate kick meets Desires jaw, the stunning one is stunned, Kobashi hooks Desire, suplex, holds him up, wow hes walking around the ring with Desire, drops Desire onto the rope, SLINGSHOT SUPLEX INTO A D.D.T.!!! what a move Rob. "
ROB: " A great move, I must admit Jason doesn't look too sharp today, baby. "
MR K: " Kobashi hooks both legs, one.............two.............Miss Vamp jumps up on the apron, ref ignores her, thre...kick out by Desire, mighty close but he got the shoulder up. "
ROB: " Jason quickly rolling across the ring, heading for ringside, he hasn't a clue where he is, rolls under the rope, rolls back in under the rope after a push from the Dr, this is bloody disgusting! "
MR K: " This is great, what a gameplan by a man you call brain dead. Kobashi picks up Desire on his shoulders, looks like a powerslam, no, hes grabbed Jasons arms, Kobashi drops Desire FACE FIRST RAZORS EDGE SLAM, the end! "
ROB: " Kobashi turns to the crowd, thrusts a fist into the air, turns around but theres no Desire, Raze from the outside dragged Desire out, great reach on the bodyguard, baby. "
MR K: " Miss Vamp sat ontop of Desire now trying to revive him, god what is she doing Rob, she certainly is a tramp. "
ROB: " Hey, that's one way of reviving your man. Raze is stood above the lovers, making sure the Dr keeps his distance. "
MR K: " The Dr swings the steel nunchuks at Raze, Raze shouting for the manager to come and get him, Kobashi rolls from the ring behind Raze, side suplex on Raze on the concrete, Kobashi with one hand throws away the tramp then rolls Desire back in the ring. "
ROB: " Jason throws several fists at Kobashi, each shot missing its mark by a mile, Kobashi looks to the crowd and smiles. Desires expression changes, the ref is telling Miss Vamp to get off the ring apron as Desire puts his hand down his trunks, owww-errrrr-missis,ah! its brass knucks, Kobashi looks back at Desire and sees a fist full of metal. "
MR K: " Ah, that's what Miss Tramp was doing, she wasn't wan......eh waking him up at all, she was hiding a foreign object, typical Desire tactics. "
ROB: " Advantage Desire, I think he could have knocked Kobashi cold. Cover, one...........two..........Dr puts Kobashis foot on the ropes, ref calls for the break. "
MR K: " Well it looks like Raze is out of this thing, the Dr is handcuffing him to the steel railing, Miss Vamp tries to prevent it but gets clobbered with the nunchuks! "
ROB: " Kobashis leg still draped over the bottom rope, Desire dropping repeated buttdrops to the leg, Desire drags Kobashi to the centre of the ring, Figure four leglock, Kobashi crawls backwards, his superior strength getting him to the ropes. "
MR K: " Ref calls for the break, Desire breaks for a second then grabs Kobashis leg and he is back in the centre of the ring, Spinning toe hold, Desire grabs Kobashis head, SPINNING TOE HOLD REVERSE HEADLOCK by Desire, Kobashis shoulders are down, this could be it, one...........two.............thr...kick out by Kobashi and that was close. "
ROB: " The stunning one well in control now, he seems to be enjoying himself, Jason goes to the top rope, looks like a DOUBLE KNEE DROP FROM TOP ROPE, no, Kobashi shoots out a kick, Desire lands in front of Kobashi, obviously he had no intention of a knee drop, wow, hes mixing up the champs head, baby. "
MR K: " Desire spits in the champs face, no need for tactics like that, Desire kicks the Package low, he has his man down, why deliver a low blow?, this man is sick. "
ROB: " Why? because hes Jason Desire that's why. Jason grabs Kobashis legs, the ref is saying to Desire 'you kicked Kobashi low', Desires saying 'no he didn't', Desire crosses the chumps legs, turns him over, what's this?, A CROSS LEG BOSTON CRAB, I haven't seen that before and I'd wager neither has Kobashi, this is submission city, baby. "
MR K: " Alright! This man does have talent, but he has no need to resort to such low tactics, he would be much more respected if he followed the rule book. "
ROB: " Yeh, and he'd wake up every morning and vomit all over the joint, hey its all part of wrestling, using the ref, using your surroundings, and nobody, I repeat nobody does it better than Stunning Jason Desire. "
MR K: " Desire has the variation crab locked in by the ropes, Desire looking out and blowing kisses to Miss Vamp, why doesn't he just get on with the match. "
ROB: " Desire shouting to the ref 'ask him', the ref does as hes told and checks out Kobashi, Desire pulls him nearer to the ropes, applies more pressure, god Kobashis legs are nearly touching his head.
MR K: " Kobashi in obvious pain now, Desire winks at Vamp now and she takes off her stiletto heel, reaches into the ring and is repeatedly smashing Kobashi in the groin, ref do something! Dr do something! "
ROB: " Ha Ha, brilliant. The ref is busy watching Kobashi suffer and the Dr can't escape the grip of Raze who is still incidentally attached to the railing, Ha this is great stuff, baby. "
MR K: " What the hells wrong with this ref, what a useless official. "
ROB: " Hey hes just doing his job, a submissions coming in a minute surly. "
MR K: " The referee looks up, oh no he didn't see the Tramp, she smiles at the ref and he goes back down to see Kobashi, this is bloody ridiculous. "
ROB: " Haaaaaaaaaa, Ha Ha Ha Haaaaaa, Raze has picked up the Dr with one hand and is holding him in the air, Ha Ha Haaaaaaaa, where set for a double submission, baby. "
MR K: " At last! The ref has spotting that disgusting tramp, the ref is shouting 'break' to Desire, he breaks the hold on four and three quarters, Kobashi grabs the rope with one hand and holds his.........with the other hand. "
ROB: " Desire grabs Kobashi's leg, puts it between his two legs, the ref is screaming at Desire to 'break, hes on the ropes' and Kobashi is screaming, Desire drops to the canvas with Kobashis leg between his own SHIN-BREAKER!!!!! "
MR K: " The referee is absolutely irate and pushes Desire, Jason is saying 'well you said break', this could be a disqualification Rob. "
ROB: " The ref now with his finger in Desires face as Kobashi stands up with great difficultly behind him, his right leg is almost useless, he is literally balancing on one leg, Raze has just throat slammed the Dr onto the concrete, the Dr needs a Dr, baby. "
MR K: " Kobashi hits Desire in the back of the neck with a karate chop, Desire keels over and the ref backs off, it seems he is going to let the match continue, Kobashis got it! Hes hooked the PERFECTPLEX!!!!!! "
ROB: " Desires up, Desires down, on the package, Kobashis leg gave way, this is a pin, one ............two .............. athorouty kick out by Kobashi, he fires Desire over to the ropes towards Miss Vamp, Kobashi hops up. "
MR K: " Vamps on the apron, handing Desire a stiletto and the ref can't see it, Kobashi approaches Desire, here it is ORIENTAL RED MIST BLOW from Kobashi, Desire drops down in the nick of time, Vamp gets a face full of red mist and the shoe goes flying into the crowd, hitting an unfortunate fan square in the face. "
ROB: " Kobashi hitting Desire with rapid karate chops to the chest and head, the Package is hot, baby. "
MR K: " Kobashi is at a major handicap though, the suplex master cannot use his suplex's because he can't use his right leg, I hate to say it, but Desire had a good gameplan, Rob. "
ROB: " Of course, the greatest wrestling mind in this sport cannot be out smarted, I think Jason was using the rope-a-dope trick on Kobashi earlier aswell, let him tire himself out, we all know Jasons conditioning and endurance is superior to Kobashis. "
MR K: " Even so, Kobashi is hammering Desire with those chops of his and Desire has no defence, Kobashi grabs Desire head, D.D.T.!!! and at last I think its one on one, Vamp is still blinded, the Dr is unconscious by the look of it and Raze is still handcuffed to the railing. "
ROB: " Kobashi now down on the mat with Desire, I think Kobashis going to have to wrestle him on the mat, he certainly can't win that battle K. "
MR K: " Mr Kobashi can look after himself on the mat aswell Rob, he turns over Desire, step-over-toe-hold and hes got Desires arm, sleeper, its the LUST TWIST, Desires own finishing move, this is it, even Desire says there is no counter for this hold. "
ROB: " This is an insult, steeling Jasons favorite hold, if there's a counter though, Jason will know it, baby. "
MR K: " He's finished, right in the centre of the ring, Desire has one hand free and he hasn't got the power to crawl away, I love it! "
ROB: " Desire waving his hand in the air wildly, oh no, I think it's over. "
MR K: " Referee goes down to check out Desire and Desire grabs the referee and pulls him over. "
ROB: " Counter! Counter! I told you Desire would have a counter, he's pulled the ref over onto Kobashi and he's released the hold, what a brilliant move, god I though it was over there baby. "
MR K: " What do you mean counter? That's a disqualification. Come on referee disqualify him. "
ROB: " Yeh disqualify him, trying to permanently injure Jason Desire, the future of the sport, the GWA franchise, the greatest wrest...... "
MR K: " Shut up! Desire still in major trouble clutching his back, the referees let Desire go, no DQ, we've still got a match. Kobashi picks up Desire balancing mainly on one leg, GERMAN SUPLEX! goodnight, Kobashi picks Desire up again SIDE SUPLEX, grabs the stunner again, BELLY-TO-BELLY and BELLY-TO-BACK "
ROB: " Jesus Christ! "
MR K: " Rob showing us he's a religious man there as Kobashi hits with a CROSS ARMED GERMAN SUPLEX, quick SNAP SUPLEX, the referee seems to be enjoying this "
ROB: " I..................... "
MR K: " Rob lost for word, now that's a first, SOVIET SUPLEX, holds him up HANGING SUPLEX 1 ..2 ..3 ..4 ..5 ..6 ..7 ..8 ..9 ..10 .. drops him to the canvas, Desire is out! "
ROB: " I..................... "
MR K: " The crowd going wild, KO-BASH-I!!!.....KO-BASH-I!!!.....KO-BASH-I!!! Kobashi placing a concussed Desire on the top rope, SUICIDE PLEX!!!!!!! Desire now face down on the canvas and he's not moving. "
ROB: " The referee's not checking out Desire, he's got to stop this now! this could be the end of Desires career! "
MR K: " So you're back then. Kobashi's leg now seems a little better, he puts his arms around Desires waist and lifts him up SNOW PLEX!!! Wow! Desire flat on his back on the canvas. Kobashi now standing on the corpse that is Jason Desire, one foot on his head and one foot on his chest, referee counts 1....................2....................Desire thrusts his arm up and inadvertently punches the Package in the groin. "
ROB: " Yes sir! He might not be conscious but he's still in this match. "
MR K: " Total instinct, Desire hasn't a clue where he is, which arena! which city! which planet!! Kobashi only momentarily stunned picks up Desire and whips him to the ropes. "
ROB: " Kobashi lets go with a big karate thrust kick and meets thin air! Desire holds onto the rope, drops down and he's out of the ring. "
MR K: " Desire wal...staggers around the ring as Kobashi slides out under the bottom rope, Jason spectacularly falls over the steel railing as Kobashi vaults over it, the Package is going to do damage now. "
ROB: " Kobashi grabs Desire, Desire grabs his groin, ooooouuuccchh! followed by a good old thumb to the eye by Desire, thumb to the other eye by Desire, yes sir baby. "
MR K: " Desire again using his two favorite moves, both of them illegal. "
ROB: " So! If it works use it, that's what I say, Jason pushes the fat boy against the railing and lets rip with rapid reverse knife edges into Kobashi's neck, I bet the crowd at the back of the Dome can hear them, devastating shots. "
MR K: " Refs got his count up to 7....................8....................9..........Desire shoots in under the bottom rope and tells the referee to 'shut up'! "
ROB: " It seems to have done the trick, the count is broken, Jason obviously looking for a clean victory rather than a meaningless countout win. "
MR K: " Clean victory? That would be a first for Desire!! "
ROB: " The sex god back outside now, Kobashi still resting against the railing holding his neck, Jason doesn't step over the railing, instead grabbing Kobashi's head and REVERSE NECKBREAKER ONTO THE STEEL RAILING!! It's over baby. Desire dragging Kobashi over the railing by the hair, now rolling him into the ring. "
MR K: " What has Kobashi got left? Come to think of it what has Desire got left? They've both took a tremendous beating. "
ROB: " Desire signaling for the Desire Death Touch, if he hits it it's over baby. "
MR K: " Desire sits Kobashi on the top rope, goes up aswell, wow! Kobashi headbutts Desire, Desire stays where he is, Kobashi hits another headbutt square in Desire's face, grabs him around the waist SUPLEX TO THE OUTSIDE!!! "
ROB: " Kobashi just suplexed Desire out of the ring, Kobashi letting go and Desire going into the third row, oh my god! "
MR K: " Kobashi sat on the top turnbuckle now, the crowd going absolutely wild, there's that KO-BASH-I chant again. "
ROB: " Kobashi approaching the crowd, Raze clothesline!! Kobashi ducks in the nick of time, damn! Raze still here, but unfortunately still attached to the railing. "
MR K: " Kobashi in the crowd, hunting for Jason's body, there it is, amongst a mass of vacated chairs, Kobashi puts him on his shoulder and he's heading back to the ring, making sure to keep clear of Raze. "
ROB: " The Package pressing Desire above his head, throwing him through the middle rope into the ring and following in. This looks real bad for the future of wrestling. "
MR K: " Kobashi hooks the PERFECTPLEX! Desire punches him in the groin, for gods sake! "
ROB: " Desire hooks the PERFECTPLEX! bridge by desire, refs slapping the mat 1....................2....................3..Kick out by Kobashi. Late kick out I think? Ha Ha Desire's pinned the Package!!!! "
MR K: " That was two and nine tenths. "
ROB: " Ha Ha Haaaaaa. Desire's pinned the Package, Desire has pinned the Package baby!!! I told you baby! "
MR K: " I can't believe it and neither can Kobashi, Akira holding his head, I have to consider this a major upset, I didn't think Desire could take Kobashi. "
ROB: " I told you! don't ever doubt me baby. 'Stunning' Jason Desire stunned Akira Kobashi at Summer Stunner, simply stunning!! "
MR K: " An uncuffed Raze now pulls Desire out of the ring, Desire in no condition to celebrate as Raze carries Jason back to the locker room, Vamp running down the isle to aid the stunning one. The crowd are totally stunned. A patched up Dr of Destiny now consoling the Perfect Package in the ring.
ROB: " Jason Desire absolutely massacred Akira Kobashi, he certainly is the future of wrestling, god are you gonna get it now K! "
MR K: " Goodnight from the Tokyo Dome from myself and 'Revolting' Rob. It's not been a good night for UWO Champion Akira Kobashi. "
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