Desire: After reading the revolting new column in G.W.A. scene 'Ducks Blunderings', I feel it's only fare that I share my brilliant insight into wrestling with the U.W.O. mortals. Vamp: You're so generous Jason honey! Desire: Firstly I'll look at the champions in the U.W.O.. I'm extremely impressed Vamp: And he doesn't say that often honey! Desire: with U.W.O. heavyweight champion Akira Kobashi, he is still yet to be pinned in his career. This man is nearly as talented as me!! Vamp: Shock horror Jason honey! Desire: Well it's all downhill from here I'm afraid darling, the I-S champion, the self proclaimed 'worlds strongest man' Rick Avery, don't make me laugh bird-man. Vamp: The only think strong about him is his breath honey! Desire: That's right! And I've been speaking to my tag team partner Flex Bruiser who say's once he wins the G.W.A. strong arm contest he want's you in a arm wrestle to prove who is the worlds strongest man! Vamp: I wonder who will win honey (chuckle). Desire: So I climb to the bottom of the ladder of talent in the U.W.O. and who do I find, it's my favourite punch-bag duck! I hear duck has challenged the great Akira Kobashi to a 'Duck-Pan' match? What!?! Do you wrestle in a toilet? Vamp: Jason, did you know duck has plugged the match on T.V.? Desire: Has he? Vamp: Yeh, you know the one honey 'toilet duck, another victory for duck!'. Desire: Ah, I know it well. Although I think I'd have gone with a different slogan, how about 'toilet duck, another shit match from duck!'. (both Desire & Vamp burst into hysterics) Desire: Anyway let's look at the contenders. Vamp: Oh ok, as long as it's not Grotesque Greg. I can't look at him, he's so ugly honey! Desire: It's all right darling, Greg isn't good enough to be a contender, never will be! Right here we go, world title contender Craig 'I've got the charisma of a carrot' Griffiths and his witc...oh, I mean valet Miss Janet Mortisher! Vamp: No, you mean WITCH Jason. Have you seen Gomez honey? Desire: I'll show you what wrestling is all about at WrestleFest, Gonk! Then there's The Iron Washerwomen, I guarantee this 'man', and I use the word loosely will have the I-S title very soon. Vamp: Huh! What! Have you lost your marbles honey! Desire: I'll explain, I've had information the washerwomen has already paid off the referee for the title match and he has got the president of the U.W.O. Jack 'I'll take the money' Hunney in his back pocket! Vamp: What about the lightheavyweight contenders honey? Desire: I'm not going to bother looking at them because basically their all crap! Vamp: Is there anything that impresses you about the U.W.O. honey? Desire: Well there's no Juan the inSANe TOSser on the roster, I suppose!! Vamp: Yeh, and no Martha 'La Baldie' Emberg either! Desire: Well I'd like to say it's been great visiting the U.W.O. but I'd be lying. A quick message before I go to all the ladies in the U.W.O., you know you love Jason Desire, so don't fight it, you might just like it!! Vamp: Yes sir honey! Return to DESIRE NET homepage
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