JD 100

J D 100

Jason Desire

100. ACTION JACKSON
Should be called Inaction Jackson. Worst record of any GWA star. Surprisingly good tag team with Dive Rasta as Diss'n'Tree. Should have retired long ago. He has actually only won one singles match in his career! Very crap.
99. HULK HOGAN
FWF star is a disgrace to the sport, must be the most hated man in all of wrestling. Managers are Beavis and Butthead, oh dear. Brute Hammer put this man on the shelf, unfortunately it wasn't permanent! Extremely overpaid.
98. MUHAMMED CLAY
BWF wrestler has very little wresting skills, in fact hasn't any wrestling skills. Teams with Cassius Ali as The Boxers, certainly in contention for wrestlings worst tag team. Even as a boxer he is very poor, never won a singles bout.
97. WARRIOR CRASH
GWA star is very charismatic, very strong but very, very dumb. Still hasn't learned a wrestling hold. More often than not beats himself. IQ of a amoeba! Currently inactive, thank god. A low budget, inferior version of Iron Warrior.
96. ALEX FULLER
One half of the 'not very' fabulous Fuller Bros. Never won a singles bout in his GWA career. An even worst wrestler than his brother and that's saying something. Don't turn your back on this guy unless you're that way inclined!
95. FIRE KID
Truly abysmal BWF record, both in the heavyweight and lightweight divisions. In a stable of totally pathetic wrestlers he stands out as the worst. Thinks he could defeat BWF Light-heavy Champion Venom. Psycho is abysmal for sure.
94. BOY GONE BAD
Dirty greaseball never showers. Also known as Boy Gone Off. His valet Girl Gone Bad is a hooker. Tasted the shit when he lost a 'Pig Shit' match to Jason Desire. Second GWA stint, still as useless. Very smelly health hazard.
93. AMBROSE FULLER
The other half of the 'anything but' fabulous puffy Fuller Bros. Tag teams don't get any worse than this, baby! Rumored to be having affair with Jason Beadle, well that's what I heard. Ambrose Fuller meet Mr Blond.
92. THE CRIPPLER
Seems to have aligned himself with the Syndicate of late. Crippler could soon be crippled. Managed by Mr Mystery, well it's a mystery to me why he hasn't fired this awful wrestler. Just how many people has he crippled anyway?
91. SHABBA SINBA
I don't know where they found this primitive man, but I think they should send him back. Could be set for the wrestling worlds most atrocious feud against Tarzan. You just know this man is going absolutely nowhere.
90. MR MARV
Well Marv certainly doesn't stand for marvellous. Not surprisingly his team with Mr Vain is also unsuccessful. Missed the EWC United European tournament when he was late after being stuck in traffic, a real professional!
89. SAFU
The wild Samoan was trained by the psychotic Khamul the Butcher. Thrills the EWC fans with his daredevil manoeuvres often injuring himself as much as his opponents. Cult favourite is very wild but not very successful.
88. SASQUATCH
Hairy freak has been absolutely hammered all around the world in his feud with former tag team partner Norseman. Needs a new feud, needs a haircut and a few wresting skills wouldn't be bad either. Looks a bit like a walking rug.
87. JUAN SANTOS
Greasy Spaniard known as the inSANe TOSser. Valet Martha 'La Baldie' has a weight problem. Member of the once great stable Meiers Men. Can't win the big match. Candidate for 1994 GWA Feud of the Year against Jason Desire.
86. ULTIMATE PATRIOT
Masked grappler is your typical American patriot loves his country, his family and the fans. Would die for his country and may have to in the EWC! This guy is so damn nice it makes you want to puke. Very sickly!
85. MISS VAMP
My valet, and what a beautiful creature she is. Former Miss California. Former Super-model. Favourite moves are hit with loaded purse and fingernails to the eyes. Keeps me in tip top shape, beats an exercise bike! Simply stunning.
84. CARL VAN DAM
Just goes to prove that you can't get by on a name alone. Brother of the great Hans Van Dam. Finding the going very tough in the GWA. Teams with Bret Blaze on occasion, could this be Fire and Ice II? Still young, his day may come.
83. DJ CHALKY
Hosts the Chalk Report BWF interview segment, very crap interviewer, equally as crap as a wrestler. Should have stayed a DJ! Used to be confused but now he just don't know. Chalky's a rulebreakers favourite punch bag.
82. DOG
It has flees and foams at the mouth when upset. Disgusting looking individual, looks similar to cartoon star Captain Caveman. Is currently inactive. Does colour commentary for GWA shows. I believe this 'man' has rabies. Yuk!
81. GORGEOUS GREG
Looks like the elephant man on a bad day. Also known as Grotesque Greg. Claims to have won 40 title, most of them are body building titles and meaningless independent straps. Doesn't carry his weight in UPWL tag matches.
80. DUFF (F.N.A. DEATH)
Renegade is very feared in the FWF. Apparently Sir Gaz The Master lost Deaths contract in a poker game, real managerial brilliance there.....not! Member of Chaos Warriors tag team with Bone Crusher. Extremely massive.
79. DAN SILVER
The maniac finds it hard to wrestle a minute worth of match without getting disqualified, certainly a few sandwiches short of a picnic. Still hates the Hangman after all this time. One of the GWA's top psychos. Manic maniac.
78. DUSTIN BAGS
What a stupid name! Likes to hit people with concrete slabs. Really dirty player, considering he's supposed to be a fan favorite. FWF isn't big enough for Dustin Bags and Brute Hammer. The 'Natural', yeh natural disaster I say!
77. CLAW
Has one hand and one claw, well did have until Balthus Bane cut it off. Member of the B.F.J. family of wrestlers. Manager is Brain the brain. Competes in FWF, EWC and UWO. Looking to get his 'hand' on Balthus Bane.
76. SMOKE
Good looking blond haired, blue eyed wrestler hails from Venice Beach, California. Holds a black belt in Karate and is a former Kickboxing Champion. Forms BWF tag team Doom along with The Dragon. Chasing after Miss Vamp.
75. MR BLOND
Blonde haired FWF wrestler has good physique. Suplex master likes throwing wrestlers around. Seems to want Lance Gunn's arse, yeh a bit of a bender. Good finisher in his 'Total Arm Blaster'. To me he's a Flex Bruiser wanna be.
74. NORIO TIGON
One of Japans premiere lightweights. Flopped royal style in the BWF then fired from Oriental Alliance. Charismatic athlete combines power and agility. Likes to bite with his steel teeth. Talented tough fast and strong is the Tigon!
73. LES
Former CWF athlete is weirdest wrestler on earth. After long absence has appeared in EWC. Has bald head and wears white lab coat. Has a strange attraction to spirit levels and chives?!? Well he's definitely not on this planet.
72. MAGNIFICENT MARTIN
Attired as a magician, does magic tricks for the fans before his matches. Good amateur wrestling background, pity about the magician gimmick. Ring music is theme from 'Juliet Bravo', real intimidating.......not! Could be good.
71. DRAGON
Tokyo, Japan native claims to be the worlds best martial artist, "hey GBH". Holds a black belt in Karate and is a master of Ju-Jitsu. One of the early favourites to win Extreme Fighting Championship I. Small but deadly.
70. DREAM MASTER
GWA newcomer is a convicted psychopath. Likes to pour sand on his fallen opponents following his matches, strange. Loves to hurt people. Beware his devastating sleeper hold. Definitely one to watch in the GWA.
69. COCKROACH KID
Teams with Schmeisser as The Warmongers in the EWC. Bloodthirsty kid likes to use his fork on opponents. High flyer set for a big promotional push in the GWA. No matter how much you stand on him he just won't die!
68. DREADLOCK
Rabid Jamaican lunatic likes attacking babies and old ladies, quite amusing really. Well muscled black maniac wears ripped jeans. Foams at the mouth a lot. Claims his opponents will be 'Meat For The Beast'. A complete animal!
67. BRAD BEEFCAKE
British cousin of Brutus Beefcake, on par with his cousin in the wrestling department as well. Likes to cut hair, can't do much else! Good looking fan favourite is a big hit with the fans. Got a nice trim from Brute Hammer. Top contender.
66. BALTHUS BANE
Master of the crossed face chicken wing. No one managed to escape his devastating hold in the BWF Chicken Wing Challenge. Managed by The Mouth. Looks set for a brutal intense feud with the Claw in the BWF and EWC.
65. MASKED LUNATIC
FWF prospect infamous for his kidnapping of Fuzzy Rae's cat Sooty, hilarious interviews from Mcdougals slaughter house where he made Sooty into car burgers. The Suicide Squads No.1 wrestler. Much more than a cat snatcher.
64. STEVE WALKER
Teams with Matt Davis as Quiet Riot. Competent wrestler, relies on talent rather than a gimmick. Contesting real hot feud with the 'Hotshot' himself Steve Sullivan, has actually pinned Sullivan, a little lucky. Someday a force.
63. MR BLONDE
Not to be mistaken for FWF Mr Blond. Managed by wheelchair bound former wrestler and now jibbering wreck Dwite Zombie. Quite a talented wrestler. 'Blonde Bomb' top rope soul-crusher is an awesome finisher. A chain smoker.
62. ULTIMATE GLADIATOR
Former street-fighter. Wears long leather coat, chaps and shootfighter boots, carries a long chain around his neck. Set for a awesome three way 'hard man' feud with Mr Blonde and Brute Hammer. Competes where else, but EWC.
61. NATURE BOY
FWF Horseman tag team partner is Sid The Vindicator. Recently entered the UWO and attacked former champion Akira Kobashi with lime powder and a baseball bat. Maybe looking to align himself with 'Sexy Boy' Ric Paradise.
60. BUDDY DEO
Absolute classic ladder match against Cockroach Kid at GWA Rumble in the Rising Sun. Teams with manager Mr Flawless on occasion. Great GWA record, maybe lacking a little luck in the big matches. A wrestlers wrestler.
59. WOLVERINE
Was one of the worlds most feared wrestlers until he had a heart attack at Lethal Lottery. Heavily muscled masked wrestler wears metal clawed gloves. Enjoys brawling and violence, well used to. Stay clear of electrical appliances.
58. THE VULTURE
Vulture flying high in the FWF. Manager and member of strong stable in Violent Desire. Favourite food is cat burgers! Contesting a real hot feud with The Suicide Squad and Brute Hammer. Recently joined the BWF.
57. THE HANGMAN
Former GWA and BWA World Champion is a tough customer. Good friend is 'Nancy' Nick Gibbon. Brings a noose to ring, 'Swing and Scream!'. Following his World Title loses seems to have disappeared from the face of the earth!
56. KAMIKAZE KID
One half of former BWF Tag Team Champion Generation Gap with Veteran, Old Timer or whoever it is this week. A good heavyweight record and a top contender for Venom’s BWF Lightweight Title. Undefeated as a lightweight.
55. DED HEAT
Doesn't fight very often, only three times in his FWF career! Although still seems to be considered a bit of a prospect. Specialist in boot camp matches. Ded Heat is set to make the Dude Ded Meat! Should be more active. Tough guy.
54. BLOB
Inaugural BWF Iron-man Champion. Very small and very overweight almost spherical wrestler. Always a top BWF contender. Has a strange fascination to Biggles' mum! Brings hammer and whip to ring. Looks a bit like a weeble.
53. PARATROOPER OF PAIN
Also known as the Paraplegic in Pain. Manager Nic Higgs is an idiot. Tag team partner is Stormtrooper Duff. Destroyed by Flex Bruiser in the 'Cage of Rage'. Set to feud with UWO Tag Team Champions The Annihilators.
52. PSYCHO BABE FROM HELL
Well she's Brute Hammer's valet but she's better than 90% of the world's male wrestlers. Women’s wrestling champion in Japan. Holds a legit pinfall victory over the artist formally known as Death........Duff! Extremely violent and beautiful.
51. BIO HAZARD
GWA athlete brought in to the sport by GWA legend The Torturer. Has teamed with friend Torturer with some success. Moved to the PWS after the GWA shutdown. As quick as he exploded on the scene he has disappeared.
50. RICK AVERY
Former UWO Inter State Champion claims to be The Worlds Strongest Man. GWA strongest man Flex Bruiser looking for an arm wrestle with Avery to see who is the stronger. Bird man seems to have flown out of contention.
49. BLACK STRANGLER
Former BWF Iron-man Champion is drop kick specialist. Westerners stable also includes Japeng Riot Squad and Stranglers own Flying Machines tag team partner the Masked Dragon. Great manager in the form of B.G.Finch Esq.
48. SAVAGE WARRIOR
UWO Champion needed help from Ted Bundy and Ric Paradise to defeat Akira Kobashi. Second to very few in the power department. 'Deaths Door' powerbomb is a good finisher. Very overrated, won't have the UWO belt for long!
47. GRIM REAPER
Former BWA Inter County Champion is finding his feet in the GWA. One of the few men to have ever pinned The Hangman. Feuding with panzy monkey 'Nancy' Nick Gibbon. Fantastic finisher in the 'Express Elevator to Hell'.
46. RIC PARADISE
Top contender in the UWO and BWA. Does great colour commentary and interviews in the GWA. Superb scientific skills and incredible arrogance, not too dissimilar to me really. Master of the Figure Four Leglock. Talented.
45. DRESDEN DESTROYER
The German is a former GWA/CWF World Champion. Possibly the most successful GWA wrestler of all time. Known for ducking top challengers. 'Todeswurf' powerbomb is a devastating move. Detests Jason Beadle, don't we all!
44. FLYING FANG
Former FWF World Champion possesses the FWF's best won/lost record. Managed by The Sorcerer. Maybe a little past his prime, slowing down. Not competed much as of late but still a top contender to all the FWF straps.
43. LANCE BOLDARO
Long time GWA wrestler has a great won/lost record but has no direction. A little inactive of late. Formally teamed with the fleebag Dog. A lightheavyweight to respect. Maybe could do with a change of attitude? Skilled.
42. GREASED LIGHTNING
One half of current BWF Tag Team champions Strikeforce with partner Goliath. The BWF's fastest wrestler certainly is lightning. Will be a tough challenge for BWF Lightweight champ Venom. Member of the collapsing Syndicate.
41. TAKAYUKI ISHIZAWA
Hot Japanese prospect. Has financial backing in millionaire Tojo Osawa. Debut saw a victory via submission in 3 seconds, a GWA record. Member of the White Dragon Dojo, GWA's largest family. Pain is his game, is it yours?
40. CARL CAMBER
Former FWA World Champion is a top star in the BWA. Real groovy red mohican 'St. Georges cross' hairdo. Not too surprisingly likes the use the facebreaker. Favours power moves and is very capable of brawling if necessary.
39. KING DARKNESS
Massive FWF prospect has experience in martial arts and boxing. Real intimidating with his red eyes and minotaur tattoo on his head. Former World Arm Wrestling champion. Awesome power. Future Royal Champion?
38. CARL KANE
Former WOW superstar has settled in to the PWS nicely and now resides as the top lightweight in the promotion. The ‘Iron Fist’ is making a name for himself on the circuit and it can’t be long till he strikes gold. Promising youngster.
37. YAKUZA
Massive BWF lard bucket is a former Sumo Champion, where he obtained the rank of Yokozuna. Throws salt all over the shop before his matches. A top contender in the BWF. Uses only basic sumo barges but seems to work for him.
36. COMA
No holds barred 'Pit-fighter' debuted with intensity in the BWF, since the demise of the promotion this dangerous man has vanished. Known for cleanly breaking a opponents arm in a early BWF bout. Undefeated star is sure to resurface.
35. TOXIC AVENGER
Former FWF European Champion. Has severely damaged and scarred face, upper body and no hair, very muscular body and wears pink and green trousers. Really bad dress sense and man he's a damn ugly dude. Vom bucket time.
34. ANTICHRIST
Another of the great BWF home grown talents. Hasn't really fought anyone of note as yet, possibly being groomed for future stardom? Stablemate is former BWF champion Manslaughter. The BWF holy or should that be unholy man.
33. THE TORTURER
Likes inflicting pain. Big, powerful, one of the sports best big men. Best team in the sport along with Flex Bruiser are GWA/CWF World Tag Champs. A tough customer for sure. GWA Bunkhouse Stampede Champion. Young lion.
32. THE JUGGERNAUT
Former FWF World Champion. Great manager in Mr Sinister. The Juggernaut keeps on rolling through all the FWF competition. Chances are he will regain the FWF World title somewhere down the line. Very hated and talented..
31. THE BISHOP
Hell, Norway holy man is former GWA Intercontinental Champion, has interesting image and good array of power moves. Calls fans sinners. Likes to use his wooden staff to win matches. Managed by Mr 'Monster'. Cult favourite.
30. HANS VAN DAM
One of only two men to have held the now defunct GWA European Title. Formed one of the GWA's greatest teams 'Fire & Ice' with Bret Blaze. Lost a Loser Leaves GWA bout to Blaze after a falling out. Craves EWC Title.
29. CRAIG GRIFFITHS
Fought Akira Kobashi for vacant UWO title and lost, ha! His valet Miss Janet Mortisher is a witch. Mr Griffiths has the charisma of a carrot. Member of UWO fan favourite stable Powerteam UWO. Loudmouth is top UWO draw.
28. THE DUDE
Top FWF contender claims to be the king of the boot camp match, carries around a trophy to reinforce his claims. Uses his skateboard as a weapon. Who is the King of the Boot Camp? Dude, Brute Hammer or Ded Heat.
27. THE FLYING SAUCER
Also known as the Cryin’ Saucer. Attired in florescent green tights, fairy lights, tinsel and covers his face in multicoloured glitter, stupidest image in wrestling. Tag team partner is the levitating teaspoon. 'Spaced' out man.
26. ROCKIN REBEL
Former GWA Junior heavyweight Champion. Lives in a slum in Harlem. Classic GWA/UWO lightheavyweight unification series with UWO counterpart Duck. One of the worlds top lightweights in anyone’s rankings.
25. HEARTBREAK KID
PWS franchise has held many PWS straps. Talented lightweight takes a back seat to no one in the gymnastics stakes. Legendary feud with PWS nemesis Paul Passion. Disgusting pretty boy poses for girlie mags.
24. AKIRA KOBASHI
Suplex master is former UWO Champion. Rated in UWO as No.1 scientific wrestler and No.3 power wrestler. Violent feud with Lightheavyweight Champion Duck. Still the man to beat in the UWO. Most definitely a 'Perfect Package'
23. JASON BEADLE
GWA/CWF World Champion wears skirts. Not related to British TV prankster, or is he? Pinned by Jason Desire in a purely scientific match. Been around a long time, far too long. Even I must admit he's a legend, in his own mind!
22. TIGER KID
Former GWA Lightheavyweight Champion. Hands out masks to children at ringside. Unparalleled high risk maneuvers. A bit pathetic but an excellent light-heavy. Set for some classic encounters with Duck, Blaze and Rebel.
21. STEVE SULLIVAN
Young scientific GWA and UWO star has made quite an impact. The arrogant 'Hotshot' thinks there’s no one better. Well he might be hot but he's not quite.....Jason Desire. He's got the arrogance and ability, he'll go a long way.
20. JASON DESIRE
Former All-American wrestler at U.S.C. is GWA's premier technician. Best looking wrestler ever, hails from 'Every Womens Fantasy'. Has ravishing valet Miss Vamp. Great entrance music! Great interviews! Beyond perfection.
19. EL KAMEKAZI
Mexican likes blood and wrecking tables. Kamikaze Crash Moonsault is a sight to behold. No rope barbed wire bouts are his favourite. Very animalistic. Struggling in the GWA, new manager Tojo Osawa may make a difference.
18. VENOM
Current BWF Lightweight champion is member of the X Men. Certainly the best BWF lightweight except for maybe Christian Void. Could have the Lightweight Title for a while and must be considered a favourite to win FWF version.
17. DUCK
Current GWA and UWO Lightheavyweight Champion. Likes gymnastics. Won the Desirie Award for 'Poorest Excuse For A Wrestler' and truly deserved it. Writes GWA column called 'Ducks Blunderings’. Personifies patheticness.
16. CHRISTIAN VOID
Current BWF and IWF Champion. A sensation at only 218lbs, can beat men much heavier. Already has some good scalps in Legion and Insane Warrior. Belt collector already has a nice collection of gold. A bit of a druggie.
15. LEGIONAIRRE
Masked wrestler is current FWF European champion. Definitely the most prominent member of the Legion of Death. Managed by General Death. Devastating headbutts, especially when his mask is loaded. A tough customer.
14. FLEX BRUISER
Massive power-brawler is former arm wrestling champ. After 65 days in GWA won prestigious Mystery Massacre. Former International Champion and current World Tag Champ. Cult favourite is a God! The future of wrestling?
13. MANSLAUGHTER
Inaugural BWF Champion also has the BWF's best won/lost record. Tall, dark and handsome and a big hit with the fans. Combines speed, strength and technical ability in a Total Package. The best the BWF has to offer.
12. PRINCE OF PAIN
Winner of FWF Chaotic Combat received a shot at World Champion Juggernaut as a reward and defeated him. 'The Killers' tag partner is Doctor Death. Royal wrestler thinks all fans are lowlife scum, well I can't argue with that! .
11. BIGGLES
Pilot has phenomenal record in the FWF where he resides as Royal champion while in the GWA he is a premier league flop. Always seems to take the easy option in his Royal Title defence short lists, sounds like good sense to me!
10. THE WORSHIPPER
‘Protected’ former GWA World Champion fought on-one of any note, not ready to carry the world title it seems. Member of possibly the GWA’s most famous stable....the White Dragon Dojo. Tojo Osawa purchased his contract from the Priest. Very intimidating.
9. POWER DRAGON
Japanese star is former GWA World Champion and Intercontinental Champion. Technical skills are nearly on par with mine. Can beat anyone on the day. Perennial contender. One of the GWA's best talents. A class act.
8. LEGION
Former BWF Champion. Rabid psychopath is a bloodthirsty animal. Has foreign objects will travel. Holy-Wars is his match. Great Five Points of Terror war with the Worshipper. Member of the feared rulebreaking stable Damage Inc.
7. THE DENTIST
Current GWA International Champion and former GWA TV Champion. Often teams with fellow Terror Tribe partner Biggles. Likes to use his tartar scraper and sleeping gas on opponents! Very sneaky, cunning and successful. Gunning for GWA tag titles.
6. THE SPELLBOUNDER
300+lb Voodoo man is a former WWA champion & franchise. Defeated Biggles to unify the WWA and FWF World straps and now holds one of the most prestigious titles in the world....... the W*F*W title. Excellent won-lost record.
5. GUA NOMME
Self proclaimed master of the ladder match has good skills. Unconfirmed rumours that he used to be a window cleaner. Executes some of the most innovative moves you will ever see. Walked out of the EWC with the title after a big disagreement. Has held many titles.
4. BRET BLAZE
Former GWA Champion although the victory was a fluke. Retired former Fire and Ice partner Hans Van Dam. Possibly one of the worlds best light-heavyweights. Very charismatic athlete has phenomenal fan support. Seems to have retired.
3. HITMAN
Former FWF Royal Champion and Current BWF Iron-man Champion is one of the most hated wrestlers in the world. Five times underground streetfighting champion. Likes illegal moves and hurting opponents. Dangerous, vicious, brutal and respected.
2. IRON WARRIOR
Current BWA World, UWO Inter State Champion. Even I must admit, one of the most successful wrestlers in the world. Likes to pump himself full of steroids in his spare time. Brings a wolf to the ring! Competes everywhere. Former Ironing champion!?!?!??!
1. BRUTE HAMMER
Master of GBH jujitsu knows every fighting technique known to man, then some. Devastating kicking ability. Carries trademark steel hammer to ring. Valet is Psycho Babe From Hell. Former EWC Champion carries the ‘hammer’ for Hard-core wrestling.

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