Height: Short
Weight: Buck Twenty
Bats: Like a pansy
Throws: Worse
Runs: Bowlegged
Annoying: Yes
Fred is one of the original players from the 1994 squad that disbanded and from whose ashes the Total Packages arose. Fred has done legendary things in his time. The factual ones include:
10. Complaining about Jim Brown
9. Blindsiding Jack the Ump (accidentally, and embarrasingly)
8. The Scalpel
7. Several key fly balls in the 7th inning
6. The Rainbows to 3rd
5. The bone-jarring collision with 1b Mike Viper Summer 1999
4. The Unabomber getup
3. Canoe trips
2. Pleasant North County rental properties
1. Ceases to function at temperatures below 60 F
