I'm My Own Grandpa




                                                  Many, many years ago
                                                  When I was twenty-three,
                                                  I got married to a widow
                                                  Who was pretty as could be.
                                                  This widow had a daughter
                                                  Who had hair of red
                                                  My father fell in love with her,
                                                  And soon the two were wed.
                                                  This made my dad my son-in-law
                                                  And changed my very life.
                                                  My daughter was my mother,
                                                  For she was my father's wife.
                                                  To complicate the matters worse,
                                                  Although it brought me joy,
                                                  I soon became the father
                                                  Of a bouncing baby boy.
                                                  My little baby then became
                                                  A brother-in-law to dad.
                                                  And so became my uncle,
                                                  Though it made me very sad.
                                                  For if he was my uncle,
                                                  Then that also made him brother
                                                  To the widow's grown-up daughter
                                                  Who, of course was my step-
                                                       mother.
                                                  Father's wife then had a son,
                                                  Who kept them on the run.
                                                  And he became my grandson,
                                                  For he was my daughter's son.
                                                  My wife is now my mother's mom.
                                                  And it surely makes me blue.
                                                  Because, although she is my wife,
                                                  She is my grandma too.
                                                  If my wife is my grandmother,
                                                  Then I am her grandchild.
                                                  And every time I think of it,
                                                  it simply drives me wild.
                                                  For now I have become
                                                  The strangest case you ever saw.
                                                  As the husband of my grand-
                                                       mother,
                                                  I am my own grandpa!



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