(Scene: A complete lack of anything. A totally white space of nothingness. Suddenly a giant pencil moves into view and begins to draw on the whit nothingness, which we can now tell is paper. Within a few seconds the pencil finishes drawing and Ranma's head is drawn on the paper. The eyes blink several times and looks around the head turning a little to look around as well. He then looks directly out of the paper.)
Ranma:We're starting a new episode are we? Good. I think you've forgotten something though.
(The pencil returns and very quickly begins to draw. Within a few moments the white background if replaced with a background of the Tendo living room, Ranma's head sitting on the table.)
Ranma:(Looks annoyed.)Ha ha ha Very funny. You know what I mean!
(A big paintbrush appears over the paper and quickly goes over the whole scene giving it the proper colors. All except Ranma's head.)
Ranma:Hey! What kinds artist are you anyways!?(Mutters to himself.)Must be new.(Sighs and looks up.)Alright pal! I'm the star of this show. That means I need to have a body so get with the pencil magic!
(The pencil returns and erases Ranma's head. It then moves to the left and draws it in again and begins to draw a body as well.)
Ranma:(Smiles a bit.)That's better.
(The pencil finishes and Ranma sees his head is on Genma's body.)
Ranma:AAAHHH! What's the big idea! This is not the right body! Get it off!!!
(The pencil comes down and erases Genma's body and draws in Kasumi's body.)
Ranma:(Left eye twitches and he begins tapping his foot.)Ahem! Wrong again Einstein!
(The pencil returns and erases Kasumi's body and begins to draw a new one.)
Ranma:(Shakes his head and mutters.)Once this episode is over I'm having a talk with Takahashi-sama.(He blinks and looks down at his body, which is Happosai's.)ARGH!! What's the matter with you?! Don't you even know the characters on this show!? I am Ranma Saotome so that means I have to have Ranma Saotome's _body_! Got it?!
(The pencil returns and erases Happosai's body and redraws in Ranma's body.)
Ranma:(Sighs in relief.)Finally! I thought you were never going to.....(He pauses and looks down at the body. He reaches up and pokes his chest, which has breasts. His left eye twitches and he looks up at the artist.)You have got to be the dumbest artist I have ever met! I have a MALE head you moron! I can't do the show with a MALE head and a FEMALE body! Fix it!
(The pencil returns and erases his head replacing it with the female Ranma's head.)
Ranma-chan:(Growls and pulls out a bunch of sheets of paper.)Haven't you read the script for this episode?! I start out as a guy! A GUY! Not a girl! Change me back!
(The pencil appears again and erases Ranma-chan and quickly draws Ranma-kun back in, head and body right.)
Ranma:Finally!! I thought you'd never get it right! Okay now we....(He pauses again and grumbles to himself.)Yo! How about some color here?! Everything else has color. I can't do the show without color!
(The paintbrush comes down and brushes over him. When it rises he is standing with yellow hair, pink eyes, blue skin, a purple shirt and green pants. He blinks in shock.)
Ranma:AAAAHHHH!!! What is it with you!?!?(He turns and smashes his fist into the table behind his breaking it in half.)Fix this you idiot!
(The paintbrush comes down and brushes over the table repairing it.)
Ranma:(Narrows his eyes. He speaks in a calm, dangerous sounding voice.)Not the table. My colors.
(The paintbrush comes back and brushes over Ranma again putting his colors normal.)
Ranma:There! Was that so hard? Now let's get started okay. I want to get this episode done so I can get away from you!(He looks around.)Well genius?! Where's the rest of the Tendo's and Pop?!
(The paintbrush returns and brushes over the table leaving a small piece of paper. Ranma blinks and walks over picking it up anbd reading it outloud.)
Ranma:Dear Ranma we've gone to the beach without you have fun home alone Love Kasumi.(He looks up at the artist.)What's the big idea?! They aren't supposed to go to the beach until next month and I go _with_ them! You can't change the script like that!(He turns and stalks off for the door.)That's it. I'm going to see Takahashi-sama right now! You're gone buddy!
(He steps out of the door and begins walking across the yard. The paintbrush comes down and paints across the whole yard in front of him. The koi pond is suddenly filling the whole yard right where he is about to step. Not paying attention he slip and falls into the pond with a splash. A few moments later she rises from the pond growling and glowing slightly.)
Ranma-chan:Alright! That's it! You want war! You got it!(She cups her hands and begins forming a ball of chi.)MOUKO TAKA-(She is cut off as the pencil returns and erases her mouth. She loses her concentration and the chi ball fades. She glares angrily up at the artist and gestures wildly with her hands and arms towards her face. The pencil returns, hesitantly and draws Ranma-chan's mouth back.)
Ranma-chan:I hate you! You are going to be fired this time tomorrow pal. You just wait and see!
(The paintbrush comes back and brushes over the whole scene changing it to one of the beach with Ranma-chan standing in the water in a very skimpy bikini.)
Ranma-chan:AAHH!!(She tries in vain to cover herself.)What are you doing?! You pervert! I'm a guy! Change this bikini!! NOW!
(The paintbrush returns and goes over Ranma-chan changing the bikini into a different colored one.)
Ranma-chan:That's NOT what I meant! Give me one of my normal bathingsuits!
(Again the paintbrush goes over Ranma-chan leaving her in a normal one piece bathingsuit. While Ranma-chan checks herself out to make sure nothing is wrong the paintbrush paints a kettle above her head. It moves away and the kettle tip and douses Ranma-chan with hot water, leaving him male in a female's bathingsuit.)
Ranma:That's it I'm leaving before you do anything else!(He turns and bolts off to the right. After a few moments he leaves the scene and is back standing on a plain white piece of paper dressed in his normal chinese shirt and pants.)Whew. Safe.
(The paintbrush returns and paints Gosunkugi standing just off to the left of Ranma. Ranma notices him and turns blinking.)
Ranma:Gosunkugi?
(Gosunkugi says nothing but takes a step forwards and kicks Ranma in the stomach sending him flying to the right more causing him to land in a new scene. This one is Akane's bedroom. Ranma lands and rolls until he hits the wall and shakes his head. He looks around and realizes right away sometihng is wrong. He's only six inches tall.)
Ranma:What's the big idea?!
(Suddenly the ground starts shaking and Ranma begins to fight to remains standing. He turns around to look for the source of the shaking and finds it. Rounding the corner of Akane's bed is a HUGE P-chan. It sees Ranma and grins pigishly.)
P-chan:BWEE!
Ranma:(Gulps.)Oh no.(He turns and bolt for the door.)HELP!!
(Ranma runs as fast as he can but the huge P-chan easily gains on him and rams his snout into Ranma's back trying to bite him. This sends Ranma flying through the air to the left and landing back onto the plain white piece of paper. The paintbrush comes down and paints an Akane holding a plate of "food".)
Akane:Ranma. Look what I made for you!
Ranma:Huh? Akane?
(The paintbrush suddenly makes a second Akane to his other side.)
Akane2:Ranma. Look what I made for you!
Ranma:(He wheels and look from Akane to Akane2.)Wha?!
(The paintbrush suddenly comes down and goes over the whole scene leaving Ranma surrounded by hundreds of Akane's each with a plate of "food".)
Akanes:(They all speak in unison.)Ranma. Look what I made for you!
Ranma:(He looks aobut to break down crying, his left eye twitching as he slumps to the floor.)I give up. I give up.
Akanes:Ranma. Look what I made for you!
(Ranma then bursts into tears and just laying in a crumpled heap surrounded by hundreds of Akanes. The scene slowly puls back from the paper showing the drawing bench it is on and the pencils and paintbrushes and paints surround it. It then show the artist, his back to us. He turns arouns to look at us and we see it's Ryouga, a big grin on his face as he holds the paintbrush.)
Ryouga:At last! Revenge is MINE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
~The End~
Author's Notes: There isn't much to say except I got the idea for this short and silly fic where I began thinking of how to combine Looney Tunes with Ranma 1/2. I remembered a cartoon with Daffy Duck where an artist kept putting him through hell and it turned out to be Bugs Bunny. Once I remembered that the rest just came to me.*Grins.*Hope you at least got a chuckle or two from this fic. Go Back To Main Page
