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My final fantasy (or, why I love Tifa Lockhart)
Everyone thinks it's weird that I love Tifa. This is probably because I don't love her the way that most people love, say, Lara Croft ('scuse me while I throw up) or someone. It's not some immature, sex-fuelled crush based solely on her vital statistics (and I'm not talking about her strength, vitality and magic defence either), because I'm not like that. I love Tifa because...
1. She is awesome looking (and anyone who disagrees with that needs their head examined.) Not only has she got a great figure, she's really cute as well (especially in that tight little outfit of hers, I have to add.) And she has eyes to die for. (I won't even mention that certain other part of her anatomy that people most often talk about...)
Some people fancy Aeris but (and this is just my opinion) I don't think she's half as pretty as Tifa, and as for Yuffie... well, let me just say that I'd rather date Red XIII (and I'm sure he'd rather date me than Yuffie as well - at least I won't run off with his Materia.)
2. She has the nicest personality of all the characters in the game (again that's just my opinion, so no hate mail please). Aeris is nice but much too soft and, well, Princess Toadstool for my liking, and Yuffie is arrogant, stuck-up and a lying, double-crossing thief who I wouldn't trust as far as I could throw her. Both of those characters (and this is not to discredit Tetsuya Nomura who must have spent months crafting these characters' personalities) are just a tiny bit stereotyped, whereas Tifa has a much deeper and more detailed personality and you really feel for her all through the game, especially during the many Nibelheim flashbacks. Actually she comes somewhere in between the two other characters - she's not an airheaded "damsel in distress" type like most girls in games, but she's not so hard that she goes round sticking two fingers up at people like most of the girls in games that don't fall into the former category. What upsets me the most is that Cloud never says he loves Tifa, even though it's so obvious that she loves him.
3. She's a great fighter. All the other characters use weapons of some description, whereas Tifa only has her fists, yet she manages to cause just as much damage as her companions. Plus, she is the only character who can use all seven of her Limit Breaks at once!
4. She turns me on. I can't stop thinking about her, ever, no matter what I do, 24 hours a day. She even gets into my dreams (although, much to my chagrin, I've never had a dream where I got to take all her clothes off and kiss her passionately...) It gets me high, but it's also made me kind of addicted. Do they make withdrawal patches for Tifa addicts?
5. She is just brilliant. Even her name is brilliant. (BTW - everyone says I spell her last name wrong, but that's the Japanese way of spelling it, and the Japanese invented Tifa so they should know.) If there is one thing about Tifa that isn't awesome, please e-mail me and tell me what it is (and I'll e-mail you back and tell you you're wrong.) Anyway, that's why I love Tifa - and that's the end of my rant.
Note: If you drew that pic of Tifa up there, then please contact me and I'll copyright it to you. I just had to use it!
