You know you've been playing Final
Fantasy VII too much when...
- There's a turn-based
battle scene permanently burnt into your TV screen/PC
monitor.
- You never get any
letters because you tell everyone you live in Midgar and
the postman can't find it.
- You break out in hot
and cold sweats at the thought of not being able to play
it at least once that day.
- You can't get the
tunes out of your head, and eventually start whistling them in the shower.
- You see little white
numbers floating around when you close your eyes.
- You start digging up the back garden, trying to find the key to Sector 5.
- You order squid in a restaurant, then take one look at it and run off, yelling, "Aaargh! It's the arm of Jenova!"
- You get into an
argument at the Customer Services desk at Debenhams over
why they don't stock size 12 battle armour.
- You look for "B. Wallace" in the telephone directory, then ring the number and start talking about blowing up Mako reactors.
- You see someone with long grey hair and green eyes and start smacking him with a plank of wood while yelling "Omnislash!".
- Your little
brother/sister starts pestering you and you attempt to
summon Ifrit.
- Your room looks more
like a shrine to FFVII every day. You've got
posters of all the characters covering your walls, the
soundtrack's never out of the CD player and the little
plastic figures are all lined up on the mantelpiece.
(Yeah, sounds like my place...)
- You've managed to
convince yourself that your new bleached-blond, spiky
haircut looks cool. And then you start calling yourself "Cloud Strife". Yep, I'm in there deep alright...
- Everyone says your
eyes have a strange glow. You insist that it's the result
of being exposed to too much Mako energy, but actually
it's because you've been staring into your screen
non-stop for three months.
- You still cry when
you think about the bit where Aeris died.
- You're in bed with
your girlfriend and suddenly she says, "Who's
Tifa?" (If you find yourself replying, "You
mean you're not?" then you really are in
trouble.) (Actually, it's even worse with me - my girlfriend is Tifa!)
- You say, "Actually there's no such thing as too much Final Fantasy VII... uhhh... where's my Chocobo?" (Starts making warking noises. Sound of asylum truck approaching in the distance.) "Nooo! I'm not insane! I'm a hero! I saved the world from Sephiroth..." (fades)
And remember... if this sounds like you, it doesn't mean you're sad! It just means you're enlightened! Wark!
