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Once upon a time, there were three little Turks. Elena, the hardest working and industrious Turk, Rude, the quiet and practical Turk, and Reno, who was piss drunk passed out in a hay bale. Finally there was a small but lovable group of lackeys thrown in the give some depth to the story.
One day after a long day of recruiting, drinking and gambling, Elena heard that the Big Bad Sephy was coming their way. Using her clear mind she devised a vast network of tunnels for her and her friends to hide in. Rude, after finishing a bottle of fine Midgar Ale, decided the best way to hide from Big Bad Sephy's onslaught was to make a small steel room, just big enough for himself and a box of liquor. Reno....was still passed out in a hay bale.
A week later, the day of reckoning came about. The Big Bad Sephy came to town and sent the three little Turks running for their shelters. The rest of the FF cast, who were conveniently left out of the story for the sake of laziness, took residence with Elena in her tunnel. Rude sat in his steel box and started on his liquor. Last but not least, Reno....was still piss drunk passed out in the pile of hay.
Striding though the town, the BB Sephy eventually came to a hill with a large steel door, a small building and a pile of hay. The Big Bad Sephy decided to start from left to right and figure out what was up with the hill first. Knocking on the door with his Masamune, Sephy boomed:
"LITTLE TURK, LITTLE TURK, LET ME IN!"
Too terrified to answer, Cloud pushed Elena out of the way and opened the viewing slat on the large steel door.
"Um..what exactly do I say?"
"NOT BY THE HAIR ON MY POINTY WHITE HEAD!" Barret screamed from the background.
"Oh yeah. NOT BY THE HAIR ON MY POINTY WHITE HEA- HEY! Who asked you anyways?"
Getting rather impatient with his impolite hosts, the Big Bad Sephy broke in on the conversation. "THEN I'LL HUFF AND I'LL PUFF, AND I'LL CAST METEOR ON YOU PATHETIC HOVEL!!!"
The Big Bad Sephy was true to his word and he huffed, and he puffed, and he cast Meteor on the tunnel system. Its inhabitants barely had time to escape with slightly charred backsides. With nowhere else to go, Elena and her band of characters ran over the hill and out of the story.
Next on BB Sephy's list was the small metal box with a big 'GO AWAY' sign on it. Marching up to the door, he tapped on it with his Masamune and screamed:
"LITTLE TURK, LITTLE TURK, LET ME IN!"
From inside the box, there came nothing but silence.
"Eh AHEM - LITTLE TURK, LITTLE TURK, LET ME IN!!"
"...." Once again nothing but silence.
"LITTLE TURK, LITTLE TURK, LET ME IN!!!"
Pressing his ear against the door, Sephy finally heard a reply.
*burp*
Angry as ever, BB Sephy puffed out his chest and screamed: "THEN I'LL HUFF AND I'LL PUFF, AND I'LL CAST METEOR ON YOU PATHETIC HOVEL!!!"
True to his word, the Big Bad Sephy huffed and puffed and cast Meteor on Rude's small steel box. Having barely enough time to save himself but plenty of time to save the rest of his liquor, Rude ran out of his house, over the hill and out of the story.
Smiling in spite of himself, the Big Bad Sephy moved on to the last structure, the snoring pile of Hay. Giggling to himself, Sephy rubbed his hands together and shuffled his feet, preparing to scare the bejesus out of the poor sap sleeping within.
"LITTLE TURK, LITTLE TURK, LET ME IN!"
Little *snrks* and gurgles were heard from inside the hay pile.
Sighing heavily, the Big Bad Sephy decided that small talk was cheap and decided to be very unorthodox and skip right to the destruction part he loved so much.
"THEN I'LL HUFF AND I'LL PUFF, AND I'LL CAST METEOR ON YOUR PATHETI---"
Halfway through his sentence, a blue coated arm with an electro-rod shot out from the hay pile and zapped the Big Bad Sephy right in the Kehones. Clutching his most tender of muscles tightly and slumping to the ground The Not-so Big and Bad Sephy muttered something about his boys, got up and ran rather bow legged over the hill and out of the story, never to be heard from again.
The Moral of the story is to not mess with the Turks or be attacked by snoring piles of Hay...no wait.
The Moral of the story is to never cast Meteor on places when it's best left for...hang on..I['ve almost got it.
MORAL: The moral of the story is don't wake up a man with a real bad hangover and an Electro-rod...or get zapped in the unmentionables.....Yeah!!
