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End of Sorrow by Genki Girl
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Her cheek rested lightly against the bare surface of the wood door. Her legs trembled and finally collapsed beneath her, and she slid, cheek pressed tightly against the door, palm sliding slowly over the surface. And her tears fell downwards.
The slow pounding of her heart, the tears that dropped one by one. And the memory of...him.
The yelling, the screaming, the painful, hurtful words flung at her. The way her face crumbled as he brushed past her brusquely...
~
"Wait! Cloud...please...I...I didn't mean...please...I'm sorry..." she whispered, clutching the edge of his shirt like a little girl, her heart-shaped face filled with grief.
Cloud didn't turn around. And she didn't have to look at his face to know that it was completely devoid of emotion...just like his voice...
"She's dead Tifa. She's dead and there's nothing you can say or do to bring her back...and can't you understand? When she died, whatever part that was alive inside of me died too."
And he jerked away from her, tearing himself from her grasp and she looked at his retreating form in despair. The door slid shut, softly and quietly, but the small click of the lock echoed in the silence around her. She walked towards the door, slowly. Her hand trembled as she reached out and touched the surface of the cold, unyielding door...
~
The minutes ticked by, and her tears and finally died down to nothing. There wasn't a sound from his room, nothing that could tell her that someone was even in there. Her whole body trembled after her numb and paralyzed emotions finally shook themselves awake.
The pain, the pent up emotions...everything. Her eyes closed and she gave a little laugh, a sad and resigned laugh. For years, for years she had loved him. Still loved him. And she had never told him, had never taken the chances life had given her to confess, and she had waited...waited so long that when she finally got up the courage to tell him how she felt, he had slipped from her fingers, his heart falling for another woman.
She smiled bitterly. She didn't hate him, couldn't hate her. Couldn't blame anyone but herself. She had never taken those chances...and it was too late to feel sorry...too late to feel sorry...
She took in a deep and calming breath and stood up on her feet, eyes dry and body still, but her eyes...her usually cheerful and bright eyes now dim and filled with such a void and emptiness. Her pale faced stretched into a tired, sad smile and she looked at the closed door once more. Her hand reached up to touch the surface, and as if she was caressing his face, his once gentle and kind face, she let her hand fall away.
And walked away.
~
Cloud heard the soft sobs slowly fade away into silence, something told him she was still there even if he couldn't hear any movement, just the pounding of his own heart.
His head hurt, and his heart too. His heart hurt so much now that he couldn't feel anything, even when he had watched her face, the life in her ruby eyes fading and the dark, sad glaze that tinted them. He hadn't felt anything.
All he could feel, al he could think about was...her. The sweet smile, the long soft hair, the innocence that she radiated...and the image of her falling from Sephiroth's sword.
Life, at that moment of her death, had only meant one thing: revenge. And after he had gotten his revenge, life meant nothing to him. He couldn't, wouldn't, go back to being the same old Cloud Strife. He sighed silently, shoulders slumping wearily. He hadn't meant to snap at her so, hadn't meant to hurt her. But she just...didn't understand that things couldn't go back to the way they used to be.
Nothing could fill the empty ache inside of him...
A soft noise came from the other side of the door, and his heart froze. Laughter, so soft and faint that he had to strain to hear it, suddenly seeped in from the other side. And the sound made him shiver. That couldn't be Tifa...could it? A pang of guilt stabbed him briefly, but it too like every other emotion slowly melted away in his heart. Encased in a shroud of ice that nothing would be able to melt or penetrate.
Slowly, the laughter faded away until he could no longer hear it, and he knew that she was slowly moving away. He hesitated. Should he open the door, apologize and try to make her understand?
His frozen heart didn't budge. She had to understand for herself that he wouldn't be the same. That no one would be able to take her place...his eyes closed and he pushed away the sad laugh that echoed in his ears softly.
And after many minutes in the desolate silence, he slipped into a restless sleep.
~
No one was there when she left. No one to stop her and try to convince her to stay, and tell her that things would be okay. A tiny flicker of hope had planted itself amongst her other emotions that he might be awake and intercept her from leaving but...he wasn't. She had passed his door, pausing briefly, and heard the light snores that emanated from within. A fond smile crossed her lips then, and she could imagine the soft and gentle look on his face, knowing that sleep would melt away the hard and harsh lines that now lined his face, filling it with the boyish innocence of before.
She clenched her gloved fist and tore herself away from the door. Hefting her backpack on her shoulder and boots clicking softly on the tiled floors, she made her way out of the house, and throwing one last, final glance behind her, she looked ahead into the night and never looked back.
He would find her note, if he bothered to come downstairs and come across it on the tabletop, and he would read it. Maybe he'd be worried, maybe he'd be sad and feel guilty...or maybe he wouldn't care. Her shoulders slumped slightly, for a split second, before she defiantly straightened them again.
Life goes on. And obviously, there was not image of her in his life...maybe it could have been in the past but it was too late now. She looked heavenwards, the stars lit her path and the moon cast her gentle glow around her like a veil.
Life goes on...and it was about time she let her life go on, and finally let him live his...no matter how bleak it seemed. Because, like he said, there was nothing she could do to make it be the way it was before.
She whistled softly, sadly, to herself and walked onwards, never looking anywhere else except forward as she left everything dear to her behind...and especially the man she loved.
~
Author's Notes: Man...that was...wow. ^^; Nothing like I had planned, but hey, this is why it's a vignette. ^_~ This story was inspired by too many sad Tifa fan fictions (read 'em mostly at Razynne's Tifa shrine) and also, by playing "End of Sorrow" by LUNA SEA on infinite loop and nothing else. ~_~ Hope it wasn't that bad, ne? ^_^;
