the rare, the weird and
the wacky with running commentary
Written by Kal with images by Brunnen-G
A
secret report within the Guild:
Terran
Alternate History
Current
Files: 1952 - 2174
REVENGE
OF THE GIANT KITTIES
image sent generously by DNR (source
unknown)
No one is really sure exactly when it
was that the Giant Kitties came on the scene. It was like they were everywhere
all of a sudden. We all knew then that our lives would never be the same.
Here we see a rare archival photograph from the 1950s which shows one of
the first recorded sightings of the Giant Kitties. Unfortunately the unknown
reporter in this photograph went missing along with the cameraman who took
this shot. All that was found was the map, a fedora and the camera
this photograph came from.
Images created by Brunnen-G (my wallpaper
God)
Of course it was only a matter of time
before the Kitties moved into the cities looking for more and more vehicles
to play with. By climbing such buildings as the Empire State Building they
mocked us openly. Their curiosity and playfulness left a path of destruction
throughout most of North America.
Image created by Brunnen-G again
Even though we had always heard of their
dislike for water, a few swimming kitties was all it took to destroy the
island of Japan despite the brave efforts of the Japanese people to battle
the Giant Kitties. But it was all for naught. The kitties acted with a
vengeance unheard of. This one that they called Catzilla was particularly
spiteful.
If only we could have brought in some
of the Giant Dogs from Europe and shipped some of our Kitties to Australia
to combat their Giant Mouse problem then the world may have had a chance.
But it was not to be. They proved to volatile to contain for very long.
We had to search for a new home.
Image created by Brunnen-G
Within less than a decade the giant animals
had devastated most of the earth. Chief among the offenders where the before
mentioned Giant Kitties, Dogs and Mice but also the Giant Squids off the
coast of Iceland, the Man-eating Giant Rainbow Butt Monkey of Borneo, the
Carnivorous Giant Spotted Root Mole of Siberia and the Giant Fire Ants
of Africa. So expeditions were sent into space to find new planets for
humans to colonize, planets unpopulated by anything bigger than it was
meant to be. But the Kitties followed us, with a mad zeal, determined to
wipe humanity not only from the face of planet Earth but from the Universe
as well!!!.
Image once again created by Brunnen-G
It was then that one of our brilliant
scientists came up with the idea to "travel back in time" to defeat
the evil plans of the Giant Kitties and save some part of humanity. We
chose the late Jurassic period but we were unaware that the Giant Kitties
also possessed time travel technology. With their misbegotten offspring
they continued to plague us and our efforts to rebuild our civilization.
However many of us decided to not return
to the distant past but instead time travelled to the future - perhaps
out of the deadly grasp of the Giant Kitties. But unbeknowst to us the
kitties had only mutated, developing powerful lazer death beams that they
shot from their eyes. The years had only made them more bitter, more
hostile. But we fought them anyways. Crawling from the safely of our caves
we lauched the first sucessful offensive against the Giant Kitties. Despite
high casualties we were able to destroy a kitty litter processing plant
they had outside of Poughkeepsie, N.Y.
Image created by Brunnen-G
Just when the advantage was clearly ours,
they unleashed their biggest surprise yet on us. The damned kitties had
made the perfect alliance. They traded all their buried poopies to the
Giant Dung Beatles for the help is destroying my unit! We lost 147 men
that day. Most looked like overcooked barbecue or scratching posts once
the Kitties had gotten finished with them.
Image created by Brunnen-G
The alliance between the Beatles and the
Kitties was devastating to our cause. Everything seemed hopeless until...
