The Blessing Way - Clyde Bruckman

BLESSING WAY (3.1)	Frohicke: He was a good friend. A redwood among mere sprouts. Shaman: You must be careful now to end the ceremony properly. If you leave, you must not do any work, change clothes or bathe for four days. Mulder: That's really gonna cut into my social life.
PAPER CLIP (3.2)	Mulder: You're going to have to wait a little longer for my video collection, Frohicke. Mulder: I'd like to try door #1, Monty. Mulder: I think with a crowbar and a small nuclear device we might be able to get through one of these things. Mulder: Lots of files. Scully: Lots and lots of files.
D.P.O. (3.3)	Sheriff: (patronizing Scully again) They can detect every flash of lightening on this planet. Did you know that? See each one emits radio waves at the same exact frequency... Mulder: ...of human resonance. 8 cycles per second. You can pick it up on any transister radio. See that sheriff? I did my homework. Mulder: That's great! Now can you make me a little cherub that squirts water? Scully: The tread looks like a standard military boot.. Mens.. size 8 1/2. Mulder: 8 1/2! That's pretty impressive, Scully. Scully: Well, it says it right here on the bottom. Mulder: oh. Mulder: I don't know, Scully, but let's go see if the shoe fits.
CLYDE BRUCKMAN'S FINAL REPOSE (3.4)	police photographer: They say the eyes capture the last image the murder victim sees before they're killed. homicide detective: So what do they say about the entrails? photographer: Yuck. (Yappi kicks Mulder out) Scully: I can't take you anywhere. Yappi: It's sceptics like you that make me sick. Mulder: Mr. Yappi, read this thought. Yappi: (concentrates, then surprise) So's your old man! Scully: It's too bad about your negative energy, Mulder. You missed quite a performance. homicide detective: Now if you don't mind I have to get an APB out on a white male, 17-34, with or without a beard, maybe a tattoo, who's impotent. Let's go. (to officers) Scully: Might as well go home, Mulder, this case is as good as sold. CB: (to potential life insurance clients) You don't get it, do you, kid? Two years from now while driving down Route 91, coming home to your wife and baby daughter, you're going to be hit head on by a drunk, driving a blue '87 Mustang. You'll end up looking worse than the 60 feet of bad road your body slides across after flying out your front windshield. client: Mister? You really need to work on your closing technique. homicide detective: It's kind of creepy, isn't it? Stupendous Yappi said the first victim's body has been dumped somewhere. Then we find it in a dumpster. Mulder: Ooh! I just got a chill down my spine. CB: (reacting to Mulder's ID badge) I'm supposed to believe that's a real name? (CB sees murder scene in his head, then runs & pukes in bathroom) Mulder: Pinch me! Mulder: Be honest Scully, doesn't that propane tank bear more than just a slight resemblance to a fat little white nazi storm trooper? (CB covers eyes in despair) (knock knock) CB: Come in. I knew it was you. I know why you're here. You're here because you found that woman's body where I told you it would be.. and now you're convinced I have some sort of psychic power. So while your sceptical lady partner is off performing an autopsy, you came here to ask my help catching this serial murderer. Mulder: Everything you said is correct. CB: (uncovers eyes) Oh, it's you! CB: Well, you see that's another reason why I can't help you catch this guy. I may adversely affect the fate of the future. I mean, his next victim might be the mother of the daughter whose son invents the time machine. Then this son goes back in time and changes world history.. and then Columbus never discovers America, man never lands on the moon, the U.S. never invades Grenada. Or something less significant, resulting in the fact that my father never meets my mother and consequently I'm never born. ... So when do we start. Mulder: Did you recieve any other impressions from it? CB: It's ugly. Next? CB: You know (it's) one of the worst ways to go but I can't think of a more undignified one than autoerotic asphyxiation. Mulder: Why are you telling me that? CB: Look, forget I mentioned it. Mulder: Look at this, Scully, the lab analysis from the first bit of fibre that was found just came back. It's lace. Scully: Chantilly Lace? Mulder: You know what I like. (bellboy starts to leave, then picks up knife) CB: Was that not enough of a tip? CB: Don't you understand yet son? Don't you get it? You do the things you do because you're a homicidal maniac. Mulder: If my Miss Manners served me right, that protrusion from his left cornea is a salad fork.