Mulder: Remember this place?
Scully: I remember being amazed at what some people will call home.
Mulder: You have to admit the man had an enduring sense of style.
Scully: Ony Max Fenig and you would appreciate living like this. (Scully turns on XF sountrack)

Max: And, uh, I should probably mention that I do this at great risk to my own health and safety but hey, when every day is just another day you're gonna get kidnapped by a bunch of little grey dudes from outer space what's a few CIA spooks to worry about?

Scully: She's in a mental institution.
Mulder: I... I'd go with you but I'm.. I'm afraid they'd lock me up too.
Scully: Me too.

Mulder: More people are trying to get their hands on this thing than a Tickle-Me Elmo doll.

Scully: Mulder, where are you?
Mulder; I'm standing outside an airplane bathroom where I've got the man who shot Pendrell locked up.
Scully: What?
Mulder: Yeah, looks like I'm gonna miss the inflight movie. And it was something starring Steve Guttenberg.

Skinner: Is this man on the plane?
Mulder: I think he got the connecting flight.

Fenig's girl: These tapes, you don't mind if I keep them?
Mulder: No. I think you... you should consider yourself the sole curator of the Max Fenig rolling multimedia library and archive and you should probably get tax-exempt status as soon as you can. This stuff could be worth something some day.

Mulder: ...Gave a rather detailed description of the old man.
Scully: What was he wearing, a long black robe and carrying a scythe?

Mortician: ...Whether to cut or to saw.

Scully: Hypothermic? Mulder, this man is an icicle.

Mulder: So what's your... medical opinion, Scully?
Scully: Well, my best guess would be that he's been exposed to some kind of chemical refridgerant like liquid nitrogen. Possibly even ingested it.
Mulder: Well, you see what happens when you drink and drive?

Scully: What if it can't? (Support Nichols' alibi)
Mulder: Lets just hope he (cop) keeps until thanksgiving.

Mulder: We have people out there looking for him.
Nichols: Who? Campus police?

Mulder: The security officeer who's now in the morgue has a body temperature a little south of Frosty the Snowman.

Scully: I think the old man in this story is gonna be Jason Nichols serving 25 to life in a federal prison.

Mulder: The ice man cometh.

Scully: And a... uh, a Dr. Yanichi was also found frozen to death.
Yanelli: What? Mulder: In his heated hotel room.

Mulder: Well, if he's already dead he's got nothing to lose.

Mulder: I think the real question is how somebody could have had access to a compound that doesn't exist.

Mulder: The hotel manager says he's been living here for 5 days.
Scully: I'm not sure if living is the word I'd use on this place.

Mulder: Of something that never happened (pic).
Scully: What? Mulder, this is a photograph. It is a documented moment in time.
Mulder: In a future that somebody's trying like hell to prevent.

Mulder: Although common sense may rule out the possibility of time travel, the laws of quantum physics certainly do not. In case you forgot, that's from your graduate thesis. You were a lot more open-minded when you were a youngster.

Mulder: Puts a whole new spin on being your own worst enemy, huh?

Old Nichols: It's better that we never were.

Scully: (On thesis) I was 23 when I wrote that.

Doc: Good lord. Not another one. (Baby with tail)

Scully: So what else about this interests you? Could it be... uhm,visitors from space? (Shows Enquirer-like mag)

Amanda: He dropped by my apartment one day and... one thing sorta led to another.
Mulder: But the baby's father is an alien.
Amanda: No, no, I didn't say he was an alien. I said he's from another planet. His name is Luke Skywalker. He's what is known as a jedi knight. (M looks at S)
Scully: (Smiling) Did he have a light sabre?
Amanda: No, he didn't bring it. He did sing his song for me though. (Dun daa's the theme to Star Wars) Scully: How many times have you seen Star Wars, Amanda?
Amanda: 368. I should break 400 by Memorial Day.
Scully: (Thinking this a great Mulder jest) 'Kay. Thank you.(Mulder leaves)
Amanda: Oh, wait a minute. Wait. you know these... these four other babies that were... born around here with tails?
Scully: Uh huh.
Amanda: There couldn't be any chance... Luke's the father, is there?
Scully: (Surprised... it's a good idea)

Mulder; Take your best shot, Scully. But I think there's a lot more going on here than Luke Skywalker and his light sabre.
Scully: I think you're right, Mulder. (He's shocked)

Mulder: How would this happen?
Scully: Birds and the bees and the monkey babies, Mulder.
Mulder: Birds do it, bees do it, even educated MDs do it. All five women shared the same OBGYN didn't they?
Scully: Well, yeah. He's the only one in town.

Mulder: So much for not putting all your eggs in one basket.

Fred: Baboo, look, just let me do the talking, okay? I'll handle it.
Baboo: Just tell him we're gonna sue.
Fred: (To M and S who are arriving) Ah, you too huh?

Hubby 1: What the hell happened to my sperm?
Hubby 2: Yeah, mine too!
Hubby 1: Whose sperm did you use?
Fred: It's bad enough having a boy with a tail, then you find out it's not even yours!

Fred: For god's sake, Alton, how many of us are there? (Re M&S)

Mulder: Hey Scully, check it out. (Pulls down pants of Blundth to reveal old tail mark.)
Baboo: That's him? He's the one?
Scully: Five out of five.

Mulder: Oh, so you're saying there was romance involved.
Blundth: Why is that so hard to believe? Just cause I was born with a tail no woman would want me? Maybe I got personality. Ever think of that?

Mulder: Well, if you're waiting for my usual theory as to what's going on, I don't have it.

Mulder: yeah, but when and where would he have had the opportunity to 'slip it to them'?

Mulder: These women don't look like the type who do a lot of solo drinking.

Mulder: Have a theory, if you want to hear it.
Scully: Van Blundth somehow physically transformed into his captor then walked out the door leaving noone the wiser?
Mulder: Scully, should we be picking out china patterns or what?!?
Scully: Mulder, why can't you just go for the simple answer? With that blow to the head, the deputy might just as well identified McGruff the crime dog as his attacker.

Scully: But what are you saying? That... that... Van Blundth is an alien?
Mulder: Not unless they have trailer parks in space.

Mulder: Hey Scully. If you could be somebody else for a say who would it be?
Scully: Hopefully myself.
Mulder: That's so... boring.

Scully: Alright then, Eleanor Roosevelt.
Mulder: (Cringing) Aiee! Can't be a dead person.
Scully: Why the hell not?Mulder: Because...

Mulder: Is this you? (Motioning to tailed man circus poster)
Eddie: One and the same! (Starts pulling pants down) Hey, ya wanna see?
Scully: No no, no thank you.

Mulder: (After Eddie bolts and disappears) Pretty spry for an old man, eh?

Blundth: (In bathroom after impersonating Fred) Uh, I'll explain later. Just give me a little privacy, okay? (Remembers) Baboo?
Baboo: Okay. Sugar-patootie.

Mulder: (Opens hatch, dessicated old man falls out.) Not so spry. You think the fall killed him?

"Mulder": (Coming out of bathroom, gets serious expression) All clear.

Mulder: (Enters, sees Scully cutting with bone saw, covers up his coffee) So what killed Eddie the Monkey Man?

Amanda: (Referring to VanBlundth) Well, he was no Luke, that's for sure.

"Mulder": That's official FBI business.

Mulder: I was just here. Where did I go?

"Mulder": I think the only thing here is... small potatoes.

Skinner: You spelled Federal Bureau of Intelligence wrong.
"Mulder": It's a typo.Skinner: Twice.

"Mulder" couldn't find key to office.

"Mulder": (Looking at name plaque) 'Fox'? Brother...(Then sits down, puts feet up, falls over)

"Mulder": Good night! This is where my tax dollars go? Where do I live? (Looks on badge, then in wallet)

"Mulder": (Looking around) Where the hell do I sleep?

Langly: Mulder, Langly. You gotta see this! An online associate of ours who shall remain anonymous has figureed out a way to digitize the Zapruder footage so he can extrapolate a bird's eye view of the Dealy Plaza at the exact moment of the assassination. And you'll never believe where the third shot came from!
Frohike: Tell him about the cheesesteaks!
Langly: Oh, yeah, and Frohike, Byers and I are goin' out for cheese- steaks. Are you down with that? Uh, erase this once you hear it.(During this, "Mulder" is poking then feeding fish, going thru mail and badly bounces basketball across the room- nice touches)
"Mulder": Geeks for friends...("M" gets a sexy call, grabs pencil all excited but when it turns out to be a phone sex solicitation throws pencil down in disgust. Marches across to mirror and practices...)
"Mulder": (Flashing badge) FBI. F.. B.. I.. (notices badge is upside down and rights it) FBI. You lookin' at me? (Looks around) There ain't nobody else here, you must be lookin' at me. (Reveals gun) You want a piece of this? (Draws gun and drops clip on floor. Picks it up, tryies to insert backwards then gets it right. Puts gun back in holster and straightens himself out) You're a damn good lookin' man.

Mulder: What's with the hat (baseball cap that says 'Superstar!')
Van Blundth: My court appointed therapist makes me wear it. She says it's meant to bolster my self-esteem.
Mulder: Does it?
Van Blundth: Not really. The other inmates just beat me up and take it from me, which would be okay except every week she brings me a new HAT! Plus they keep me on some kind of muscle relaxant so I... I can't make faces the way I used to. Did you tell them to do that? (No answer) Is uh, is Agent SCULLY here???
Mulder: What did you want to talk to me about, Eddie.
Van Blundth: I just think it's funny. I was born a loser but you're one by choice.
Mulder: On what do you base that astute assessment?
Van Blundth: Experience. You should live a little. Treat yourself. God knows I would, if I were you.

Scully: I don't imagine you need to be told this, Mulder. But you're not a loser.
Mulder: yeah, but I'm no Eddie Van Blundth either. Am I?