Angel knew that he should stay away from all of the Slayerettes, but he couldn't bare this solitude. Buffy had abandoned him. *I love her so much. I can't get through this alone. I'm still weak, and I cant deal with the nightmares by myself.* It had become a daily routine for Angel. No sooner would he close his eyes than his mind would be filled with the images of his victims.

Before he knew it, Angel was standing in front of Willow's house. This was something else that scared him. He had been spacing out a lot since he had returned from Hell. He couldn't remember anything about the walk over. Angel was seized by sudden panic and turned to flee. But he couldn't go. He *needed* to know how she would receive him.

He climbed up her balcony fighting back his ever present exhaustion. Angel could see Willow sitting at her computer and he knocked softly on her door. Willow turned around and bolted to her feet when she saw him. "Angel." It came out as barely a whisper. She came slowly to the door as if being drawn against her will. "Why are you here, Angel?" she demanded, her voice trembling. Angel heard the fear in her voice and immediately turned to go. He hadn't made it two steps, however when he was overcome by one of his frequent bouts of weakness and sank to his knees, clutching the railing for support. Willow saw him collapse and without thinking, flung open the door and ran to his side. She could see how his body trembled with exhaustion and she was overcome with pity. Willow hesitantly placed her hand on his shoulder.

Angel jumped when he felt her hand. He hadn't heard her come out and hadn't expected her too. But there she was smiling reassuringly at him, compassion shining in her eyes.

Willow slowly knelt beside him. "You need to rest. Lets get you inside." Willow couldn't believe that she was going to let him back into her house.

*He saved my life!* she told herself firmly as she drew his arm over her shoulders and slowly helped him to his feet. She was surprised at how heavily he leaned upon her. Willow looked up into his face and was startled to see that his eyes were glazed. She ushered him into her room and made him sit on the bed. "Angel?" she called worriedly. Angel's eyes cleared and he looked up in answer to her call. He then looked about him and realized that after everything he had done she had brought him into her home.

"Willow?" he questioned. Angel's eyes met hers and he was startled to see the worry there. *Is she worried about me?" Angel scolded himself for such foolish thoughts. *Probably worried that I'll hurt her.* Willow knelt in front of him, and grasped his chin firmly in her hand. "Angel, why are you here? What happened?" Her heart broke as his eyes filled with tears. Instinctively she hugged him tightly and was astonished when he began to sob quietly in her arms. "She left me. She said that she couldn't be around me." Angel managed between sobs.

Willow drew away slightly in shock. "Buffy? Why? She made it clear to us that she was going to stand by you." Her hand reached up as if of it's own volition to wipe the tears from his face. "It's my fault. She left because I couldn't stop loving her. If I could have, she wouldn't have left." "Angel, it's not your fault. She loves you too." Willow stroked his hair, trying to calm him.

Angel, suddenly filled with anger, broke way from her and began to pace the room. "She knows that I need her. I'm still weak. I can't deal with the nightmares and the space outs by myself."

Willow watched him frightened. Not for herself but for the tortured vampire before her. She waited silently until he finally sank back onto the bed exhausted. She glanced at her clock. 5 a. m. *Okay,* Willow thought. *It's too late for him to head back to the mansion, he could get caught in the sunlight. My parents are out of town for the next two weeks, so I can keep him here until then. Get him back on his feet.* Willow stood and put on her best resolve face. "Angel you're staying here for a while." "What?" His anger faded away to be replaced with surprise. "You heard me. Now you need to get some rest. So why don't you lay down?"

Angel looked at her dumbly. Determined she walked up to him. "Stand up." Moving slowly he did as he was told. "Now, lets get your coat off." She helped him remove the long black coat. "Now get into bed and try to sleep while I go pull the blinds down."
Angel stood watching her, until she came over and pushed him down onto the bed. She proceeded to tuck him in as if he were a toddler. That being accomplished she returned to her task of closing the blinds through out the house.
When she was done she returned to her room to find Angel sound asleep. *He looks so tired.* she thought sympathetically. Willow walked over to the bed and brushed his hair out of his eys. *I know things aren't easy between them, but how could Buffy just dump him like that. He's not ready to stand on his own.*
Angel stirred slightly. "Willow?" he whispered a sob in his voice.
"Right here, Angel." she said softly taking his hand. That was how the morning found them and since it was a Saturday, Willow had no intention of moving. Willow had been sitting, watching Angel for an eternity when the phone rang. She grabbed it quickly, glancing at Angel to make sure he was still asleep.
"Hello?" she answered quietly.
"Hey, Wills!" Buffy's voice came cheerfully over the line. "How would you like to go to the mall?"
"Sorry, Buffy." Willow glanced at the sleeping vampire on her bed. "I can't."
"Well why don't I come over then?" Buffy seemed determined.
Willow began to panic. "Look, uh Buffy. I really need to get some sleep. I was on the net all night." Willow spoke quickly, hoping Buffy would buy it.
Unfortunately, she didn't "Is there something wrong Willow?" Buffy asked worriedly.
"No! Really, I'm just tired." she noticed that Angel was beginning to stir. "Ooh gotta go! Bye."
Angel opened his eyes and sat up slowly. He turned his head and saw Willow standing off to the side, staring at him uncertainly.
Angel regarded her for a moment, afraid to speak. When he did his voice was soft. "Willow? Why are you doing this for me?"
Willow sighed. "Angel, no matter what happened you're still my friend. I can't turn my back on you."
"But, I killed Jenny Calendar, your fish, I almost killed Giles and I hurt Buffy how many times?! How could you stand to look at me?" "Because, Angelus did those things. Not you." Willow's resolve face was firmly in place.

Angel buried his face in his hands. "Why didn't she just kill me? I've lost everything, Willow. I have nothing left. I've lost my friends, the woman I love . . . everything."

"Not everything. Angel you'll always have me. Now, lay back down and try to get some more rest." Angel lay back down without protest and on a whim, Willow climbed into bed beside him.
Willow awoke several hours later and glanced at her clock. 4 p.m. She shifted and was shocked to find someone laying beside her. A quick glance revealed it to be Angel and Willow remembered the nights events. Willow sat up slightly, being careful not to disturb Angel. Hesitantly she caressed his cheek.
*What's happening?* she asked herself. She had never been this at ease with a guy before, well except maybe Oz. But her fling with Xander had ruined that.
Willow climbed out of bed, showered and dressed. When Willow returned to the bedroom, she found Angel awake and staring at a picture of her, Buffy, Oz, Cordy, and Xander at the park. His eyes were filled with such pain and longing that her heart ached for him. She couldn't bare to see him so unhappy.
"Angel?"

"Hmmm?" he murmured in response, never taking his eyes off the picture. Willow went to him, and gently pried it from his hands. Setting it back on the dresser she said, "A lot has changed since you left, Angel."
"And it's all my fault." Angel's voice was filled with self loathing.
"No! Angel, you can't blame yourself for everything that has gone wrong. Actually most of it had nothing to do with you. Oz and Cordy don't hang around with us anymore. And it's my fault. Mine and Xander's. Oz and Cordy walked in during that Spike thing, and caught us kissing. Cordy tried to run, but she fell through the steps and almost got killed. And it's my fault. We have so much in common, Angel. We've both lost the ones we love the most."
A single tear slid down her cheek. His hand shaking, Angel wiped it away. "Willow, you couldn't have known, it's not your fault." She looked up into his dark eyes. "The same thing could be said about you, Angel."
"It is my fault. I should have know." The agony in Angel's voice could be seen reflected in his eyes.
"It is not. You deserve to be happy, Angel."
"But I can't, Willow! I can never be happy or I'll become Angelus again. Having to live with this pain, it's worse than being in Hell, Willow."
Willow took his hand. "Talk to me, Angel. We'll get through this somehow. Together. I promise, I won't leave you. You can always count on me. Tell me about Hell."

"Do you really want to know?" His voice was hoarse with emotion.

"If it'll help you, which I think it will, then yes.

"It was worse than I'd ever imagined. It's fire and this unbearable heat. There were all those screams, coming from places that I couldn't see. I saw each of my victims, and I saw them over, and over, and over, again. And I was tortured." he swallowed trying to contain his emotions. "Every day, the demon would come. Let me show you something, Willow. Maybe then you'll understand." Angel removed his shirt and waited for her eyes to drift down to his stomach. There in his side was a huge gash, that had been made by a demon's claws. It still hadn't healed, it was read and inflamed and angry. Angel noticed her curious gaze. "You're wondering why it still hasn't healed. Poison. If I wasn't immortal it would have killed me when I returned. And this was nothing, Willow" Angel closed his eyes and again heard his own cries of agony and heard the crack of the whip and felt it strike his skin over and over. He began to shudder uncontrollably and he gasped for breath.

Willow, seeing his distress, called his name. It was like he had been transported somewhere else. Willow tried shaking him, still nothing could reach him. "Sorry about this, Angel." Willow slapped him across the face as hard as she could.
The fact that it knocked him down was a testament to his weakness. But it was affective. His eyes opened and he looked at her stunned. "Willow? What happened?"
"You went away for a minute there. Are you okay now?" Angel nodded. "Yeah."
"Do these spells happen a lot?' Will asked concerned. Angel was not only fighting his demon, but fighting for his sanity as well.
"Yeah it can last for hours. I don't know what to do. That's why I came to you, Willow. The others wouldn't even talk to me, and Buffy . . . well she made it clear that she wanted no part of this. What do I do?"
"Well," Willow walked over to the window and cautiously peeked through the blinds. "it's sunset. And you've got to be hungry. Where do you go to get blood?"

"Willies."

"Well, lets go." Willow pulled on her shoes, and headed for the door. Angel grabbed her arm as he passed her.
"You'd go with me?" There was hope in his voice. *Dear God, could she be this good to me?*
"Of course. I can't let you go alone. You're weak, and you might space out again. Besides, I'm sure you could use the company."

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