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How Big An 'Ol Boy Are Ya!
Earl was enjoying his normal Saturday afternoon activities, (watching bass fishing, eating pork rinds, and drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon) when his wife came storming in the trailer.
"I want you to get up and kick this guy's ass!" she exclaimed.
Earl, being a man of pride, jumped up and said, "What did that bastard do to you?"
She said, "Well I was at the market and I dropped a melon, when I went down to pick it up he looked under my dress."
Earl was fuming now!
Then he looked me in the eyes and said, "I would like to fill you up with ice cream and eat it all up!"
Hearing this Earl immediately sat back down.
She replied, "Well aren't you gonna do something?"
Earl looked at her and said, "I'm not gonna fuck with anyone who can eat that much ice cream."
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My all time favorite Joke so far
since I love Harley's
Arthur Davidson, of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation, dies
and goes to heaven. At the gates, an angel tells Davidson,
"Well, you've been such a good guy and your motorcycles have changed the world. As a
reward, you can hang out with anyone you want to in Heaven."
Davidson thinks about it and says, "I wanna hang out with God, Himself."
The befeathered fellow at the Gates takes Arthur to the Throne Room and
introduces him to God. Arthur then asks God,
"Hey, aren't you the inventor of Woman?" God says, "Ah, yes." "Well," says Davidson, "You
have some major design flaws in your invention:
1. There's too much front end protrusion
2. It chatters at high speeds
3. The rear end wobbles too much, and
4. The intake is placed too close to the exhaust."
"Hmmm..." replies God, "hold on."
God goes to the Celestial Supercomputer, types in a few keystrokes, and waits for the result.
The computer prints out a slip of paper and God
reads it.
"It may be that my invention is flawed," God replies to Arthur Davidson,
"but according to My Computer, more people are riding my invention than
yours."
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