When I first decided to dip my toe into the pond of BDSM it was something that I did a great deal of research on first. Which was wise. It was the equivalent of reading the parachute manual before jumping from the plane with the chute strapped to my back.

I spent hours pouring over web site after web site, book after book. And almost every one, at some point, spoke of SSC. Safe, Sane & Consensual. I am going to admit something somewhat embarrassing here. I am one of those people who is ridiculously gullible. I bought the whole SSC-concept hook line and sinker.

When Master M and I met on-line I didn't give Him my phone number, tell Him my real name, address, place of business or anything else that would have been useful to a would-be-stalker. Why? I was being SSC. I requested that He tell me all of the itty bitty details about Himself, which I refused to give out about myself, in order to build my trust. I think about that now and I cannot believe how back asswards my thinking was. (He gave me no such information, by the way. What's good for the goose is good for the gander.)

Don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking SSC for those who need to utilize it. I suppose it can and would be a powerful tool in the building of new relationships. Master and I are not Unsafe, Insane or Nonconsensual. Or, maybe we are.

Anal sex is unsafe I read somewhere. The idea of TPE (Total Power Exchange) is Insane to many people. And occasionally some of the activities we take part in are not entirely consensual, meaning that I don't always like, enjoy or want some of the things that occur. But as His property I endure them for His pleasure. Edge play is often considered un-SSC. I love for Him to control or cut off my oxygen supply as I am building towards an orgasm. That is one thing that was a huge no no on the first fetish consent form I filled out before Master and I took our on-line relationship into the world of flesh. (For am abbreviated version of this form check out bluesSubmission.)

And speaking of that first meeting, it was anything but SSC. We met at a hotel room rather than a public place, though initially a public spot was the intended locale. We were both late and the spot was closed long before we were ready. The only thing I went into it with was a safe word (which hindered my submission more than anything else) and a safe call, which went completely unutilized. If things would have turned out badly I would have been seriously ticked off at my friend who didn't call the police after I failed to make my first scheduled call. As it turned out though Master was wonderful and I thoroughly enjoyed my first training session.

Let me explain more about how I felt the safe word hindered my experience. During my first scene dealing with any kind of pain I kept thinking to myself, "Ow, that hurt. Should I use it now? Will it get worse? Can I handle it if it does? Should I use it now? Or how about now? Now?" I carried on a conversation inside my head rather than letting myself succumb to the feelings, emotions and pain racing through my body. I missed submission by a long shot.

After that experience I explained to Master M how I felt about the password impeding my responses to Him and we did away with it. No more password. No more confusion. No more ridiculous mid-scene debates with myself. I trust Him to push me as far as He thinks I can handle.

I understand that not all relationships are as trusting as the one that Master and I have. And not all Master's are as experienced and well trained as Master M is. my good fortune to belong to an experienced Dominant.

For me, at this time in my life, SSC is an unnecessary slogan used by those who are pushing to be politically correct. To heck with being PC. I just want to have fun, be hurt and get off. (Not necessarily in that order.)

SSC is fine. But not always necessary and not always fool-proof. Bad things happen to even those who follow the SSC guidelines to a T. Use your head.

RACK is the latest "in" acronym. Risk Aware Consensual Kink. I prefer it to SSC. There is another phrase I like called Consensual Non-Consent. This means that once I have given permission, in a Master/slave relationship (as opposed to a Dominant/submissive-type relationship) I need not give it again unless the relationship has been previously dissolved.

You decide what's best for you. Decide what feels right. What's popular isn't always what's best, nor right. And what's right for you may be none of the above.