blues BDSM

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0 height="100%"><tr> <td valign="top" width=170 BGCOLOR="#000000" TEXT="#F7F7FF" background="135aa962dvldtc.jpg"> <div> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="2" CELLSPACING="0" WIDTH="95" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 46 WIDTH="91"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="46" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="91" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></tD> </tR> </TABLE></div> <bR> <div> Why BDSM?</div> </td> <td valign="top" BGCOLOR="#000000" TEXT="#F7F7FF"> <div> <FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#003333" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT><FONT SIZE="1" COLOR="#333399" FACE="Arial" ><IMG SRC="15396270.jpg" border=0 width="150" height="39" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></FONT>  |     <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE=" "><U>home</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id56.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="blues Submission"><U>blues Submission</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id70.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="blues Dominant Submission"><U>blues Dominant Submission</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id65.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="blues View"><U>blues View</U></A>   |   blues BDSM   |   <A HREF="id31.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="blues Lit"><U>blues Lit</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id19.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="blues Links"><U>blues Links</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id17.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="About blue"><U>About blue</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id20.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Contact blue"><U>Contact blue</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id29.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="blue"><U>blue</U></A></div> <div> blues BDSM</div> <bR> <div> This explanation of why people choose BDSM related relationships was posted to a thread at Bondage.com. After asking the posters permission blue is posting it here. Why? This explanation is the best she has come across. Enjoy!</div> <bR> <bR> <div> BDSM includes two distinct parts. D/s and SM. You would need to explain both parts. </div> <bR> <div> D/s is about the giving of control and the taking of control. In almost any relationship, there is one party that is more dominant than the other. There is one party who is more responsible for decisions than the other. D/s is an extension of that, although to a much greater degree. </div> <bR> <div> In the vanilla world, there are many who seek to gain control over others. Many who try to gain control do it through negative means such as coercion, threat, intimidation, and dishonesty. D/s in the BDSM world is based upon informed consent. The person giving up control does it because they desire to give up that control to someone they trust, not because they have had control forced upon them. </div> <bR> <div> Dominants in the BDSM community seek control because for them, it creates a smoother running relationship. The Dominant and the submissive negotiate on how a relationship will be structured. After that, the Dominant controls agreed upon areas of their relationship. It is common for there to be additional negotiation as the relationship develops, possibly changing the areas in the relationship where the submissive is giving over control to the Dominant.</div> <bR> <div> The Dominant benefits from a smoother relationship that works to a great degree how the Dominant wishes it to work. The submissive gets a life with fewer of the day to day decision making responsibilities many would rather do without. She also gets a relationship where she feels cared for and protected more than is normally found in a vanilla relationship.</div> <bR> <div> The key to a successful D/s relationship is having both people involved interested in the same level of power exchange in the same areas of the relationship. If you find that compatibility, both parties will be very happy. If that compatibility is not present, they will end up miserable.</div> <bR> <div> One of problems that occurs in the vanilla world is a romantic relationship between two dominant type personality, or two more submissive type personalities. Such romantic relationships do not often last.</div> <bR> <div> SM is a different matter entirely. The common misconception in the vanilla world is that SM is about pain. SM is not about pain. It is about strong stimulation, both mentally and physically, and the effects that stimulation has on a person's body and mind. </div> <bR> <div> Various SM activities are present in some degree in vanilla relationships. Hair pulling, being held down during sex, rough sex, spanking, being tied up, rape fantasies, abduction fantasies, role playing are all common practices in the majority of vanilla relationship. In the BDSM world, SM is taken to a higher level. </div> <bR> <div> Endorphins, adrenaline and similar body chemicals play an important part in SM play. The bottoms goal is not to experience pain. You do not see bottoms going to dentists and asking for teeth to be drilled with out Novocain. The bottom wants a build up in the level of stimulation they are receiving, with the rate of buildup based on the bottoms production of things like endorphins. As the body produces things like endorphins, a higher level of stimulation to a given area will feel similar in intensity to a lower level of stimulation before the production of endorphins started. As people play longer, more endorphins are produced, and thus they can take stronger and stronger stimulation with out significant discomfort. Experienced bottoms normally produce more endorphins than do people new to SM, and people who have gone through pain in the past, like with physical therapy, can also enjoy stronger stimulation. Endorphins produce a sense of euphoria, and thus are highly sought after.</div> <bR> <div> Tops in the SM world feed of the responses caused by their stimuli. Some do it because of the feeling of power it gives them. Some do it because they know how enjoyable the play is to the bottoms. To some, it is a control thing. I think most tops enjoy all the above to varying degrees. </div> <bR> <div> The search for adrenaline and endorphins is not limited to the SM world. "Runners High" is produced from endorphins. Endorphins are produced when someone eats a hot chili, and are thought to be one of the reasons people enjoy hot chilies. People also seek out adrenaline, which is common in SM play, especially in edge play. In the vanilla world, these people are known as "adrenaline junkies".</div> <bR> <div> In many if not most BDSM relationships, you find varying levels of both SM and D/s.</div> <bR> <div> To recap, most vanilla relationships have some level of dominance and submission. In D/s in the BDSM world, this exchange of power is consensual, negotiated, and accepted. In the vanilla world, the struggle for control is often that, a power struggle.</div> <bR> <div> SM activities are quite common in the vanilla world. In the BDSM world, SM activities are performed more frequently and with more care,skill and intensity than in the vanilla world. SM is not about pain, it is about the bodies reaction to strong stimulation, and causing and controlling that reaction in someone else.</div> <bR> <div> Patrick <FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Symbol" >â</FONT></div> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>