Get Out of Jail, Sal
Episode: 2004
Teaser:
The scene opens on a close up of Salmoneous played by Robert Trebor. His face is bent downward as he walks. His thinning gray hair is slightly mussed and his beard is a bit bedraggled. The camera pans back slowly and we see that Sal is barefoot and dressed in shabby brown rags - a poorly fitting tunic and baggy pants. The entrepreneur is shuffling along a dusty corridor. He is intent on counting some coins as he passes them from one hand to the other.
"Twenty-four dinars," he mumbles as the last coin is counted. He looks up and scratches the hair on his chin. "I hope that's enough. It's always good doing business with my fellow inmates." He grins slightly to himself.
Suddenly, a heavy bell starts clanging furiously and men can be heard shouting in the distance.
"Sound the alarms!"
"We have to find whoever did this!"
"It couldn't be," Salmoneous listens intently and ponders. "Then again, it never hurts to be careful." He shakes a finger in the air at his own conclusion.
He quickly ducks into a large, albeit dimly lit room. Most of the space is occupied by rough hewn tables and benches filled with tough looking characters. There are no women and all the men are wearing outfits similar to Sal's. Most are hunkered over crude plates of slop which they soak up with bread before swallowing voraciously. Many of the diners are muttering under their breaths about the alarm and casting furtive glances around the room. At one end of the dining hall stands a long serving counter. Large pots are lined up along the table and manned by ladle wielding cooks.
Salmoneous scurries over and lines up behind the last man. He grabs a chipped plate and shuffles along the counter, taking whatever is offered. At the end of the line, he holds up his dish expectantly. The cook behind this final pot peeks out from under his floppy, oversized chef's hat. The familiar long face of Falafel recognizes Salmoneous. His large dark eyes shift nervously, finally he leans closer to Sal.
"Make sure you get this to the King of Thieves." Sal whispers secretively as he sneaks the dinars into Falafel's bony hand.
"How?" Falafel asks, casting suspicious looks in every direction.
Salmoneous lets out an exasperated sigh. "Just go to Thebes and let everyone know that you have money. Autolycus will find you." He hurries off as the cook nods and pockets the coins.
The sometime con man finds a seat at an empty table and sits down to eat. He has just taken a few bites when a group of ten soldiers barge into the dining room and start rousting the occupants.
"Back to your cells!" orders one of the armed guards.
"We have a murderer to apprehend!" shouts another.
"Half the guys in here are murderers," sneers one of the inmates. Several of his companions chuckle at the joke.
"Someone just killed Innous. Now get back to your cages," growls the head guard.
Most of the prisoners begin to shuffle out the door, assisted by the constant shoving and prodding of their surly keepers. One of them leers over Sal as he struggles to finish his dinner. "But I'm not done . . ." he mumbles with a full mouth.
"You are now," the guard grabs him and sends him reeling out the door and shuffling down the same dingy corridor.
Sal licks a bit of porridge from his fingers and mutters, "I wonder who could have killed Innous?"
He turns and enters a tiny cubicle. The windowless room has one hard wooden stool and a tiny cot complete with lumpy pallet. Salmoneous sits down on the makeshift bed. His face takes on a curious expression as he reaches under one cheek and extracts a foreign object. The con man gasps, his eyes bulging even wider than normal as he stares down at the bloody knife in his possession.
"In here! He has the murder weapon!" a guard shouts from Sal's doorway.
"Uh oh," Sal squeaks still staring at the incriminating blade.
Opening Credits
Starring:
Kevin Sorbo as Hercules
Michael Hurst as Iolaus
Guest starring:
Robert Trebor as Salmoneous
Charles Mesure as Midras
Emma Menzies as Syreeta
Cameo appearance by:
Paul Norell as Falafel
Written by: Dolittle
Opening Scene:
It is a beautiful summer's day with the midday sun shining brightly down on a verdant hillside. A well-traveled dirt path meanders along the sloping countryside. Hercules and Iolaus are strolling along in their usual fashion. Iolaus swaggering slightly, hand on his sword hilt as he finishes relating his tale.
"Another heart lost to my charm," Iolaus sighs regrettably.
"Didn't she marry a farmer a few weeks later?" Hercules adds nonchalantly.
"Well, at least I know how to let a girl down," the blonde hunter responds a bit defensibly.
The Son of Zeus rolls his eyes and looks off into the distance. Iolaus follows his gaze. A gentle breeze is blowing back the demigod's long hair then a sudden gust of wind hits both heroes. The blast is over as fast as it began and there hovers the slightly paunchy Hermes, Messenger of the Gods.
"Hiya, Herc," Hermes ignores Iolaus - still not having forgiven him for the whole sandals escapade.
The god is dressed in his white tunic and winged boots. He sways suspended in air and holds out a rolled parchment. "Special delivery for you," he hands the scroll to Hercules. "Well, gotta fly, there's a wet toga contest I don't wanna miss. Later dudes."
Hercules nods dismissively at the flying messenger, his concentration already focused on the scroll in hand.
Iolaus watches after Hermes with a bemused expression. "Gods," he mumbles shaking his head. His expression brightens somewhat. "Hey Herc, you think we could get in to see that wet toga contest?"
"Nope," Hercules mutters, still intent on the note.
"Hand delivered by Hermes," Iolaus nods at the mysterious message. "That must be from one of the gods, huh?"
"Hardly," Hercules scoffs. "It's from Autolycus."
"Autolycus," Iolaus ponders the surprising information. "How'd he get Hermes to hand deliver a message?"
"Knowing Autolycus, Hermes was probably afraid he'd steal his sandals again." The demigod lets out a troubled sigh and rolls up the scroll.
"So what kind of trouble is he in this time?" Iolaus asks somewhat sarcastically.
"Autolycus is fine," Hercules replies distantly. "It's Salmoneous who's in trouble."
"Yeah, I know. He got sent to prison for tax fraud in that massage parlor scandal."
"Yep," the Big Guy responds without enthusiasm.
"But Herc," Iolaus is growing concerned at his partner's stoicism. "You told me that Salmoneous didn't want your help."
"Nope," Hercules stares off into the horizon. "But now he needs it. He's going to be executed."
Iolaus eyes widen at the news. "The Athenians may be tough, but since when do they execute you for tax fraud?"
"They don't. But they do for murder." Having made up his mind, Hercules rushes down the path.
"Murder?" Iolaus mumbles to himself and hurries after his partner.
Break
The sun is setting in the West. The landscape is one of a wooded forest. A well-worn path leads through the trees. Hercules is trotting along at a quick, steady pace. Iolaus follows several steps behind. Suddenly, a twig cracks loudly and the heroes halt. They eye the woods suspiciously. Both men spread their feet in fighting stance. Iolaus slowly draws his sword. Hercules stands with arms extended, waiting for the inevitable attack.
Suddenly two sword-wielding brigands charge from out of the trees. They are wearing makeshift armor over their tattered clothes. Their faces are dirty and unshaven, with almost crazed expressions. Hercules smiles grimly and prepares for battle.
Two more highwaymen jump down from the tree limbs where they were concealed. Iolaus steps up to meet their assault. He holds his sword up to deflect one blow and deftly sidekicks the other assailant. The blonde hero swings his blade in an arc, throwing the thief off balance and then round kicking the man in the rear. The scruffy-looking bandit falls face first in the dirt.
Hercules dodges a blow from the right then spins and knocks the criminal to the ground with one punch to his jaw. The other attacker jabs his sword at the hero. The Son of Zeus nimbly jumps backward, barely avoiding the point of the blade.
He looks down at his near miss, then raises his head and with fire in his blue eyes, growls. "That wasn't very nice."
Hercules kicks the blade away, turns into his opponent and, grabbing the man's arm, strikes him with the hilt of his own sword. The miscreant collapses in a pile.
Iolaus is facing off against his first attacker. The man has recovered from the hero's sidekick and is warily circling the blonde hunter. He stabs at Iolaus with a long dagger but the hero is too quick. Grasping the thief's wrist, Iolaus twists his arm and throws the man to the ground.
"That got the blood flowing," the blond grins at his partner. "Just what I needed."
"In more ways than one," Hercules nods approvingly at their fallen assailants.
Break
The scene opens on the four would-be robbers sitting on the ground. Their backs to each other, hands tied behind them. They are grumbling as Iolaus finishes wrapping a rough- hewn rope around the bunch.
He gives the thieves a smirk. "Thanks for loaning us your rope." Then he turns back to his partner who is starting a small campfire.
"You know Hercules, I still can't believe that Salmoneous would kill someone." Iolaus ponders. "Unless he bored them to death or drove them to suicide with one of his schemes."
The Son of Zeus gives his friend one of his most disapproving looks before adding. "No, Salmoneous isn't capable of murder. That's why we're going to see him and find out what happened."
"Uh Herc," Iolaus interjects. "The Athenians don't allow visitors to their jails. They're pretty rigid about who they let inside."
"I know," the demigod smiles knowingly.
"Oh no, no, no, no, no, no," Iolaus shakes his head. "I remember all too well what happened the last time we purposely got thrown in jail." The Golden Hunter rubs his nose, recalling how it got broken.
"Don't worry, Iolaus," Hercules chuckles. "We have a `get into jail free card'. Or perhaps, I should say four of them."
The Son of Zeus approaches one of their captives and pulls up his sleeve, revealing a prison tattoo.
The Golden Hunter inspects the Athenian mark. "Oh, I get it. We take these bad boys back to jail and use them to get in to see Salmoneous."
"I figure apprehending four hardened criminals should buy us a little good will from the Athenian prison guards." The half god supposes.
"But Herc," Iolaus asks settling down next to the fire. "How did you know that we would conveniently run into four bad guys?"
"Don't we always," the demigod responds.
Iolaus considers for a moment then shrugs. "Guess I better go hunting since we have company for dinner."
Break
In a dusty courtyard surrounded by twenty-foot high castle stone walls, Hercules and Iolaus are exchanging words with three uniformed guards. One of the Athenians leads away the four men who attacked the heroes. Another tall, handsome prison guard (played by a brunette Charles Mesure) approaches the group. He is wearing a uniform of polished armor over his leather tunic and trousers. Several laurels on his shoulder distinguish him as a ranking officer.
"Hercules and Iolaus," he clasps the wrist of one then the other in a warm welcome.
"It's good to see you again, Midras," Hercules addresses his old friend.
"First, let me thank you for returning the Gartok gang." He motions in the direction the captives were escorted. "They've been causing all kinds of trouble ever since they were released two months ago."
Then he discreetly steps away from his fellow guards and indicates for the heroes to walk with him.
"As for that other matter," Midras lowers his voice. "We don't normally allow visitors; especially to death row inmates. But I've managed to arrange a brief meeting with your friend."
"Thanks, Midras," Iolaus says gratefully.
"It's hard to say no to you and Hercules." Midras leads them into the prison proper.
Break
The handsome officer, Midras, is wearing a grim expression as he walks down a windowless hallway with his old friends. Dank cells line either side of the corridor; their hardened occupants stare at the outsiders with humorless expressions.
"Innous was quite the career criminal," Midras begins. "He spent most of his life inside these walls before dying here too; stabbed to death in his own cell."
"Did he have any enemies?" Hercules asks.
Midras chuckles, "He certainly didn't have many friends. Innous liked to snitch on the other prisoners in exchange for special privileges."
"So there are other inmates that wanted him dead?" Iolaus continues to question him as they walk.
"More than I could name," Midras goes on. "But none of the others were found holding the bloody dagger after the murder."
"So you're sure that Salmoneous is guilty?" Hercules asks imploringly.
Midras stops and looks hard at both heroes. "I can't believe it either. But when we questioned him, he refused to answer. He wouldn't speak up; not even to defend himself."
The Golden Hunter shakes his head and looks dubiously at his partner.
Midras sighs with resignation. "We had no choice but to find him guilty of the crime and sentence him to death. His execution is scheduled for tomorrow at dawn."
The handsome Athenian turns to unlock a barred door. It opens with a squeak and Hercules and Iolaus walk past their old friend to enter a small, dark cell.
"I can only give you a few minutes to say your goodbyes." Midras cautions them.
The heroes look around the dimly lit confines. In the far corner is a small cot and huddled against the wall is a figure dressed in prison garb. His legs are pulled up to his chest and his arms are wrapped about them. A gray haired head rests face down on his knees. The prisoner is slowly rocking himself back and forth. A low murmur, almost sobbing, is emanating from the lowly form.
"Salmoneous?" Iolaus calls out tentatively.
The rocking stops and the buried face slowly looks up. It is a ghostly representation of their friend that stares blankly at the heroes. He blinks in confusion before whispering, "go away, there's nothing you can do."
"Salmoneous, we know you didn't kill that inmate," the demigod assures him.
"We do?" Iolaus whispers, much to Herc's chagrin.
"We're here to help you," the Big Guy frowns at his partner. "Tell us what is going on."
"I can't," Salmoneous shakes his head fearfully. "They'll kill her." The words slipped out unbidden and Sal regretted the moment they escaped. He bit his lip as if to silence his uncooperative voice.
Iolaus sits down next to the trembling man. "Who? Who is going to be killed?"
The one time entrepreneur lets out a strangled cry. "Syreeta. They threatened to kill her if I talked."
"Syreeta, wasn't she the girl who helped you out after Pyro burned your place down?" Iolaus frowns, trying to remember the story.
"She was so kind," Salmoneous trails off. "Oh, if only I'd stayed with her and settled down. But no! I had to go out and seek my fortune."
Hercules and Iolaus exchange knowing looks at Sal's lament.
"Salmoneous, maybe you should start at the beginning," the Son of Zeus suggests.
The bearded man hesitates then nods, relieved to finally share his burden.
"I was helping out my cousin - I had some great money making ideas for his massage parlor." The condemned man pauses and looks at the heroes chastely. "It's not what you think. It's a legit place."
"I'm thinking you shouldn't get involved with your relatives," Hercules adds, impatiently shaking his head.
"Anyway, I was helping my cousin with his bookkeeping system when I discovered he had a silent partner - Corleonus." Sal's eyes bulge in fear as he whispers the name.
"THE Corleonus?" Iolaus asks in amazement. "As in the most ruthless criminal in Greece?"
"You've met him?" Sal asks.
"Only by reputation," Iolaus counters impatiently. "Why didn't you get out of there?"
"You don't just walk away from Doneus Corleonus." The entrepreneur is visibly shaken just by the thought of the vicious crime lord. "The Athenians were about to bust him for tax fraud when he offered to let me take the fall."
"Let me guess," Hercules interjects. "You could either take that fall or a far more painful one."
"It was an offer I couldn't refuse," Sal concurs. He looks up at Hercules and explains. "I appreciated your willingness to help, but I figured it would be best to just do my time and then I would be free. Besides, prison wasn't really so bad. I had a few business interests going on in here…"
"I don't want to know," the Golden Hunter interrupts.
"Then, a few weeks ago, Corleonus' people contacted me. They said they needed someone shut up permanently." Sal's eyes grow wide as he glances nervously from one hero to the other. "I may not be the most scrupulous man around but I'm no killer."
"We know that, Salmoneous," Hercules assures him.
"They knew it too," the prisoner wails. "They found out that Syreeta had been writing to me in prison and they kidnapped her. They threatened to kill her if I didn't put an end to Innous."
"So you did kill him?" Iolaus' brow furrows as he tries to work it all out.
"No, I couldn't, not even to save Syreeta," Sal sobs. "I had a pretty good idea where they might be keeping her and I thought that the right person might be able to get her out."
"Autolycus!" the demigod surmises.
"I was going to send him the money I made off the other convicts."
"But instead, he sent for us," Iolaus speculates. "Maybe I should give him more credit."
"Corleonus had someone else kill Innous and frame you for the murder," Hercules concludes. "He assumed that you would keep your mouth shut to protect Syreeta."
Sal nods hopelessly.
"So we have to rescue the girl and catch Corleonus," Iolaus claps his hands together in eager anticipation.
"First, we have to get Salmoneous out of jail." Hercules corrects him. Iolaus and Sal both look at the hero in amazement.
"We can't just break him out of prison," Iolaus says, exasperated.
"We have to, Iolaus. The Athenians are going to execute him at dawn."
Break
Hercules and Iolaus are still in Sal's dank cell. The sometime con man remains huddled on his cot but, thankfully, has stopped sniveling and rocking himself. The demigod is scraping some rust off an iron pipe and mixing it into a crimson paste with a little water. Iolaus watches over his partner's shoulder.
"I dunno, Herc. Maybe we should come back after dark," Iolaus suggests.
"Then we would have to break IN and break OUT." The half god explains emphatically. "This will be much easier."
"Why am I the one who always has to do this part?" the blonde hunter complains.
"Because you're the better actor." The demigod grins into the camera.
"Oh," Iolaus shrugs before splashing some of the reddened water on his abdomen and clutching a rag to his stomach. Then he lets out a blooding curdling scream.
"Guards! Help! The murderer has stabbed my friend!" Hercules shouts down the hallway.
Heavy footfalls come echoing down the corridor. Salmoneous nervously eyes the dirtied dagger that he is holding. Two guards rush up to the barred entrance. They see Hercules cradling the wounded hunter - Iolaus groans as if in great pain. Their convict is cowering at the back of the cubicle, an apparently bloody blade in his trembling hand.
"Salmoneous got my partner's knife and attacked him with it," Herc shouts. "Quickly, open the door."
The two guards fumble with the keys. Opening the heavy door, they rush past the demigod and fallen hero to confront Salmoneous. Hercules and Iolaus spring into action, swiftly knocking them out from behind.
"It worked," the Son of Zeus says with the slightest surprise.
"Come on, let's get out of here." Iolaus casts aside the rag and leads the trio down the dark hallway.
Prisoners shout for release from their cells as the heroes plus one run past. Momentarily, another guard appears silhouetted in the light at the end of the corridor.
"Halt, where are you going?" Suddenly he recognizes Sal's prison clothes. "Prisoner escaping! Sound the alarm!"
A chorus of heavy bells begins clanging and more shouts can be heard from all directions. Pounding footfalls approach the three. A phalanx of guards charge at them from a side hall.
"This is what it's like when your plans work?" Sal asks the two heroes sarcastically.
"Would you rather go back in your cell?" Iolaus suggests as they weigh their options.
"May * be," Sal considers as a group of five guards face off against the trio.
Hercules and the Golden Hunter spread out with Sal in between them. The first guard charges Iolaus, he ducks and the man tumbles over him and smashes headfirst into the entrepreneur. A startled Salmoneous falls to the ground in a tangled heap with one of his jailers.
Three more guards draw their swords against Hercules. He jumps over the first low swing then ducks to avoid the next high one, grabbing his opponent's wrist in the process. The third guard jabs at the demigod but he uses his opponent's sword to deflect the blow. Another soldier charges into the fray and the Son of Zeus delivers a sidekick to his stomach, sending him flying into the wall.
Iolaus is facing two more armed men. His own sword is busy parrying against them. He blocks one strike up high and front kicks the other soldier's blade out of his hand. The hunter then turns with astonishing speed, wrenching the hilt from the first guard's grasp. Iolaus shrugs as if it was almost too easy and brings the handle of his weapon down on the man's skull. Disarmed by the skillful hero, the second guard backs submissively into an empty cell.
The half god is just finishing up with his contingent of opponents. He grabs the two still standing and smashes their helmets together with a loud clang. The heroes survey their handiwork, searching for additional guards. Then Iolaus notices their friend in a heap on the ground and offers Sal a hand.
"Come on," Hercules responds gruffly and they turn and run in the opposite direction.
This end of the hall is blocked by a locked door. Hercules runs up and tries the handle. He steps back, preparing to break it down, when the door suddenly opens from the inside. There stands a startled Midras and four soldiers.
"Sorry, Midras," Herc apologizes before winding back and delivering a solid jab to the officer's head, knocking him out cold. The Son of Zeus stoops slightly and scoops his friend up on his shoulder. He delivers a quick kick to one of the other soldiers while Iolaus knocks two of the guards' heads together.
Salmoneous grins and cheers, "yes!" Then he pales as the final jailer stalks toward him.
Hercules, with Midras slung over his shoulder, swings around to check on Sal. The officer's legs bash into the jailer sending him crashing into the prisoner. Salmoneous finds himself, once again, in a pile on the ground with one of his former captors.
The Son of Zeus cocks an eyebrow and shrugs. "Iolaus, get Salmoneous," he adds almost nonchalantly.
Iolaus down looks at the hapless man. "Salmoneous, we don't have time for long goodbyes."
"You think you're funny," Sal grumbles as he takes the hunter hand and the three escape out through the back door.
They find themselves in the back of the prison courtyard. This gate appears rather lightly guarded. Iolaus leads the way as they sprint across the enclosure. The Golden Hunter charges the first guard, literally leaping into the man's arms. He rapidly punches another soldier then punches the one holding him, landing on his feet as the man falls unconscious.
Hercules is right behind his partner. He knocks out one jailer with the swing of an arm. Then he spins Midras body around, using it as a weapon against the others.
Salmoneous hurries over to one of the fallen guards and grabs his key ring. He fumbles momentarily with the gate's lock, finally it opens and the three, plus an unconscious Midras, rush through.
Iolaus grabs the keys from Sal and relocks the gate. As they dash down the dirt path, the blond hunter throws the key ring into the woods. "That should slow them down."
Break
It is late in the evening and the heroes have set up camp deep in a wooded region. They have a small fire burning and Salmoneous pokes at the flames while tending to a couple roasting quail. Iolaus sits on a fallen log, chewing on a drumstick. A still unconscious Midras lays on the ground near the campfire, his hands bound behind his back. Hercules is just returning, emerging from the dark forest.
"I don't see any signs that we're being followed," the demigod announces simply.
"Old hunter's tricks," Iolaus mumbles with his mouth full.
"Uh, I don't mean to sound ungrateful," Salmoneous starts. "But haven't we just prolonged the inevitable? Sooner or later, the Athenians will catch me and execute me and, in the meantime, I'm afraid we've put Syreeta in more danger."
The Son of Zeus smiles understandingly, "that's why we have to find Syreeta and get Corleonus to confess to everything."
"And you really think the Athenians will believe our story?" Sal asks dubiously.
"Maybe not, but they'll believe Midras," Herc strolls over to the officer whose eyes are suddenly wide awake.
"What makes you think I'll be a willing participant after you betrayed my trust?" Midras grumbles angrily.
"Because you're a good man who doesn't want to see an innocent one executed." With that, Hercules breaks the ropes binding the officer's hands.
Break
The four men are huddled together in a field. They are hunkered down in the tall grass watching the gates of an armed encampment. A wall of stone surrounds a cluster of ramshackle buildings and huts. Two armed hoodlums stand on either side of the wooden entry.
"Salmoneous," Hercules turns to his friend hesitantly. "Are you sure about this?"
The sometime businessman nods his head vigorously. "For Syreeta," he affirms, rising to reveal himself to the guards. Midras stands too and shoves Salmoneous roughly toward the gates.
The two henchmen watch their approach. "Halt Athenian! Or it will be the last step you ever take."
Midras smiles slyly. "Tell your boss that I have something he wants." He nods at his companion.
"Doesn't look like much to me," one of the men leers at Sal.
"He has information, but only for Corleonus." Midras hisses vehemently at the lackey.
"Let them in," orders a voice from inside the gate. "This could be amusing."
Midras and Salmoneous disappear into the camp.
Break
A heavyset man with droopy eyes and hanging jowls sits behind a make shift table in a darkened room. The desk is littered with everything from scrolls to dinars to dirty dishes. In front of the table stand a proud Midras and a terrified Salmoneous.
"What could a petty criminal have that is of any importance to me?" Corleonus questions them in a slurred whisper.
Sal gulps down his fear but it is Midras who answers. "This thief knows the whereabouts of the money that was embezzled from the massage parlor. He is willing to tell you on the condition that you let his friend go free."
"And why are you here?" The ghastly looking crime boss grills Midras.
"Money," the handsome Athenian reveals his most sinister sneer. "In exchange for getting him out of jail and bringing him to you, I want a cut."
"Impossible," Cornleonus hisses emphatically. "I was the one who stole that money." He explains boldly. "And like Innous, now you two know too much and will have to disappear." He let the last word linger on his lips, seeming to take pleasure in the thought.
"There was more money than just the tax dinars," Salmoneous stammers. "I, I, I was embezzling from the general fund," he finally confesses.
The crime boss glares appraisingly at the sometime con man.
"I know I'm a dead man," Sal pleads. "Let Syreeta go and I'll tell you where I hid the money. Otherwise, the secret will die with me." He adds as bravely as possible.
Corleonus silently weighs the proposition before turning to Midras. "And what makes you think that you'll get out alive?"
"I'm betting that you could use an officer on your payroll," Midras responds with an air of false bravado.
"Hmm," the mobster sighs. "Bring the girl out into the yard," he orders one of his goons. Then nodding at Sal and Midras, "them too."
More brigands roughly shove the prisoner and officer out of the dim room and back into the bright sunlit courtyard. From the opposite direction, a pair of burly cretins drag a struggling Syreeta. She is dressed in a simple blue wrap, her sandaled feet shuffling in the dust. Her wrists are bound in front of her and she tries desperately to avoid the callous hands of her captors.
Suddenly noticing Salmoneous, her eyes grow wide, silently pleading with him for help. He lunges forward but is restrained by one of the thugs.
"Let her go!" The normally meek businessman orders them. "Then I'll tell you where the money is."
Corleonus comes strolling up behind them. "You'll tell us now," he hisses menacingly in Sal's ear. "Or watch her die."
Break
Hercules and Iolaus have crept closer to the crime boss' hideout. They are concealed behind a thick shrub growing against the fortress wall. A rather large crack in the stone embattlement affords them a view into the courtyard. The demigod's face is pressed close to the wall.
"I can't believe we let Salmoneous and Midras go in there," Iolaus whispers worriedly.
Hercules watches silently as the goons drag Syreeta into the open. Iolaus peers over his partner's stooped shoulder.
"Uh oh," the Son of Zeus murmurs as their friends appear.
"Um Herc, I'm still waiting for the rest of that plan." He hisses into the demigod's ear.
"It's coming," the hero replies, still intent on the scene being played out.
As Corleonus threatens Syreeta, Hercules springs into action. Iolaus dashes after his partner as the Big Guy rushes the gate. The Son of Zeus charges up to the first thug guarding the gate and knocks him out with a single right cross. Three more ruffians charge at him while two face off against the Golden Hunter.
"This is it?" Iolaus asks incredulously. "The two of us attacking an armed encampment of the most vicious criminals in Greece. THIS is your plan?" The hunter locks arms with his first attacker, swinging over his back and kicking the next man with both feet.
"Not exactly," Herc grunts as he sidekicks an opponent on his left then spins, striking the man to his right. "We just have to keep them busy until reinforcements arrive." He swings his arm in an arc, striking three more thugs.
"What reinforcements?" Iolaus furrows his brow as he deflects a sword blow and uses the attacker's own weapon to knock him out. Then the blond hunter leaps high into the air and kicks out at two more cretins.
"Those reinforcements," the Son of Zeus manages to nod his head in the same direction that they first approached the fortress; then he engages four more of Corleonus' men.
Iolaus delivers a quick jab to the man in front of him and bobs his head to see a small army of Athenian guards riding up the path. "Oh, those," he punches again. "Reinforcements."
The little hunter spins and kicks another opponent. "But how did the Athenians find us?"
"Old hunter's trick," Hercules grunts as he twirls a staff around in a circle - knocking several men down in the process. "I made sure they would follow us here."
Meanwhile, inside the courtyard, all Tartarus is breaking loose. Corleonus shouts first for his men to attack the two heroes and then to stand ready for the approaching soldiers. The Athenian troops reach the gate and, joined by Hercules and Iolaus, burst into the compound.
Most of the criminals are busily engaged fighting with the soldiers. Only one goon each guards Midras and Salmoneous. The Athenian officer throws an elbow back into his captor's stomach, doubling him over. Then he brings both wrists down hard on the back of the man's head. The hoodlum crumples to the ground.
Following Midras' lead, Sal stomps on the foot of his thug then kicks dust up into the criminal's eyes. "It may not be pretty," Sal muses to himself. "But it gets the job done."
The Son of Zeus barrels through the gang of thieves. His arms and legs flying as he works his way toward his friends. The Golden Hunter battles near his side, wiping out one attacker after another. Hercules spies the infamous crime boss and stalks toward him.
"Corleonus!" he snarls.
The gangster runs over and grabs innocent Syreeta. With a knife to her throat, he holds her hostage, using her body as a shield. Hercules hesitates several paces away. The fighting has subsided and all eyes turn to the hero and the villain facing off.
Behind the crime boss, Salmoneous looks around desperately for anything to use as a weapon. He spies a large sack and hefts it up. With all his strength, he hurls it at the back of Corleonus' head. The bag hits with a heavy thud and crashing noise. The mobster's eyes roll back in their sockets as he sags down to the ground. The sack bursts open, countless dinars spilling out around him.
"I did know where to find the money," Salmoneous quips while everyone stares at him in surprise.
Break
The scene returns to the dusty courtyard of the hideout, dozens of Athenian soldiers are preparing their captives for transport back to the jail. Off to one side a grateful Syreeta has her arms wrapped around Salmoneous, hugging him. He strokes her long blonde hair almost reverently as he apologizes for involving her in this mess. Hercules and Iolaus watch with satisfied smiles.
"Well, that looks like one happy ending," Hercules grins at his partner.
Midras approaches the duo with a grim expression.
"Uh oh," murmurs Iolaus.
"Hercules, Iolaus," the officer begins in a serious tone. "You know that aiding and abetting, not to mention actually freeing, a convicted criminal is a major offense."
Iolaus grimaces, waiting for the rest of the bad news.
"It's a good thing that this was a planned operation to catch Corleonus," Midras smiles warmly and grasps each hero by the wrist. "Actually," he leans forward and whispers in a conspiratorial tone. "I've been given a commendation for apprehending the crime lord."
Just then, Salmoneous shuffles up to the three old friends. In the background, Syreeta is dabbing tears from her eyes as she watches sadly.
"I'm ready to go," the sometime con man holds out his hands for Midras to shackle.
The officer nods at Sal then turns back to his friends. "My men are just about done rounding up these rogues and getting them ready for the trip back to the prison."
Hercules motions Midras aside. "I know that he's a convicted criminal," the demigod casts a sideways glance at the rather pathetic Sal. "And he no doubt deserves to go to jail for something, but…" the Son of Zeus trails off.
Midras grins with smug satisfaction. "Based on Corleonus' statements, I'm recommending that Salmoneous return to Athens to receive a full pardon."
The entrepreneur's face lights up at the news. "A full pardon! Did you hear that, Syreeta?" He turns to look for the pretty lady but she is already standing right beside him. Her tears of sadness have turned to those of joy. "So how would you like to make a trip to Athens?"
"Oh Salmoneous," she murmurs in response.
The former convict holds out his arm for Hercules then Iolaus. "I can't thank you enough." He gazes down at Syreeta with genuine affection, "for everything."
"Just stay out of trouble, Salmoneous," the demigod adds.
Midras heads to the front of his legion and directs them to start moving out. Sal and Syreeta turn to follow.
"I wonder if there was a reward?" Salmoneous ponders out loud, scratching his beard thoughtfully.
Hercules and Iolaus chuckle at the comment.
The End
Disclaimer: No permanent harm was done to Salmoneous' reputation in the making of this episode.
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