Knave of Hearts

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" rowspan="2" width=210 BGCOLOR="#99CC99" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="0418dfc3.jpg"> <div> <B><IMG SRC="08cb6ae0.jpg" border=0 width="182" height="174" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Disclaimer:  This website and its contents are not intended to violate any copyrights.  These stories are written for the enjoyment of fans and will produce no monetary gain.  Some characters and situations used in these stories are owned by Renaissance, Universal, or MCA; anything else belongs to the individual authors.  Please do not reproduce, publish or otherwise use these works elsewhere without the author's permission.  </B></div> <bR> </td> <td valign="top" colspan=2 height=82 BGCOLOR="#CCCC99" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="0428dfe1esnpes.jpg"> <div> <FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#336666" FACE="Arial" ><B>Hercules & Iolaus: The Legends Continue</B></FONT><B>     </B><B>|</B><B>     </B><A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Hercules Iolaus: The Legends Continue"><U><B>home</B></U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id17.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Mailbag"><U>Mailbag</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id18.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Related Links"><U>Related Links</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id19.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Contact Us"><U>Contact Us</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id20.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Around Again"><U>Around Again</U></A>   |   <B>Knave of Hearts</B>   |   <A HREF="id30.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Double Indemnity"><U>Double Indemnity</U></A></div> <div> </div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" height=398 colspan=2 BGCOLOR="#CCCC99" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="0428dfc3.jpg"> <div> <I>Knave of Hearts</I></div> <div> Episode 2008</div> <bR> <div> Written by:  MaryE.</div> <bR> <div> Teaser</div> <bR> <div> "Althea...Althea, you're needed back at the boutique but you're also needed at the silk stall on level two. Two of the vendors want you to settle a pricing war," cried the hassled clerk as he followed the elegant lady down the grand stairs of "The Agora Althea". </div> <bR> <div> "I'm a designer, not a diplomat, Georgio. Can't they solve their little dispute</div> <div> themselves?" </div> <bR> <div> "Apparently not, Lady Althea. I even had Armani go talk to them quietly, threaten to break some thumbs if they didn't listen but..." </div> <bR> <div> "Oh, all right! I guess I can spare ten minutes but I can't get back to my boutique late. I have a very important appointment with the great Lady Aspasia. We're doing the next to the last fitting for the gown she'll be wearing to Pericles' Inaugural Ball. It's your job to make sure I'm not late." </div> <bR> <div> "Yes, Lady Althea." </div> <bR> <div> "Georgio, has HE arrived yet?," she asked with a shy smile. </div> <bR> <div> "Yes, Lady. He's the one who sent me to look for you. He's waiting in your office and if  I may be so bold as to mention that he's a very virile and handsome one you have there." </div> <bR> <div> "Georgio!" she exclaimed loudly. Lowering her voice to little more than a purr she added, "Yes he is, isn't he?" </div> <bR> <div> Exactly ten minutes later Althea entered her office to find the man who had so recently stolen her heart draped artfully over the brocaded divan in the corner of her office. </div> <bR> <div> "Come to me my lovely Althea." </div> <bR> <div> "Oh lover, I'd like nothing better but business first pleasure later today. Besides we'll be needing the money if we're going to take that secluded villa on the Aegean for our playhouse.  I imagine someone in your line of work, you know, traveling around with Hercules all the time fighting monsters and stuff, doesn't really make a good steady salary." </div> <bR> <div> "Does someone with this physique look like he's starving my love? The line of work actually pays better than you think. You know Hercules well, tell me that he isn't well fed." </div> <bR> <div> Althea let her mind drift back to several very special occasions that she observed exactly how well fed the demigod was. A lemonade moment first -- and that other time when he was helping to build the catwalk for her and Twanky and oh yes! That marvelous bucket of water -- and his trip down the catwalk with that great outfit clinging to every ripple... </div> <bR> <div> Only the polite clearing of a throat in the background brought her back to reality. </div> <bR> <div> "Am I right," he asked? </div> <bR> <div> "Yes, oh yes...now where was I? Well, I have a very, very important and top secret appointment. Just between you and me, I have been given the most prestigious honor of designing all the gowns and togas that the rich and famous Athenians will be wearing for the Inauguration Ball for Pericles. The 'piece de resistance' is a most beautiful gem encrusted, million dinar, gown that I've designed for Pericles 'girlfriend' Aspasia." </div> <bR> <div> As if on cue, Aspasia, along with a couple of her friends and her secret security detail arrived for the appointment. </div> <bR> <div> When the largest of the security men made a move to throw the man out Althea protested, "no, he stays. He's my top security and besides, he's also my fiance." </div> <bR> <div> "Althea, we didn't know you were engaged. Congratulations to you both." </div> <bR> <div> "Well, it was rather sudden, Aspasia, but he is the most wonderful man. Let me</div> <div> introduce you." And turning to the man at her side, looking lovingly into his handsome  face she said, "My love, this is Lady Aspasia, companion to the great Pericles. Lady Aspasia, please allow me to present my fiance, Iolaus of Thebes, partner to the great Hercules." </div> <bR> <div> He drew himself up to his full height and bowed at the waist bringing Lady Aspasia's hand to his lips and brushing it softly. "I am charmed, My Lady." </div> <bR> <div> "Althea, you lucky girl -- tall, dark, handsome and charming. No wonder he stole your heart so quickly," purred Aspasia. </div> <bR> <div> Just then silence filled the little room, as the world's most beautiful and expensive dress was brought in by heavily armed security guards. The air filled with "ooohhhh's and aaahhhh's" as the blinding glitter of the gems reflected the sunlight that filtered through the high windows. </div> <bR> <div> Althea turned to the man at her side and flashed him a smile that was only just a little less brilliant than the gleam from the dress and thought `only a little while longer and we'll be living happily ever after.' The man returned the brilliant smile and thought `only a little while longer, Autolycus and you'll be living large!' </div> <bR> <div> Opening Credits Roll</div> <bR> <div>    Starring: </div> <div>    Kevin Sorbo </div> <div>    Michael Hurst </div> <bR> <div>    Special Guest Stars</div> <div>    Bruce Campbell as Autolycus </div> <div>    Willa O'Neill as Althea </div> <div>     and</div> <div>    Dame Edith Sidebottom as Widow Twanky</div> <bR> <div> Written By: MaryE. </div> <bR> <div> Opening Scene</div> <bR> <bR> <div> On a sun-drenched road to Athens... </div> <bR> <div> "Hercules...is that you?" </div> <bR> <div> "Agricolus, my old friend. How are you? How's Melody and the kids? Did you leave them back on the farm?" </div> <bR> <div> "They're right here in the back of the wagon taking a rest. We've got a busy day ahead of us. We're going to need all the energy we can get. Speaking of energy, where's Iolaus?" </div> <bR> <div> "I'm on my way to meet him in Athens. Maybe we can get together for a drink while we're there and talk over old times." </div> <bR> <div> "Oh I really don't think I'll have time for that Hercules. Once we're done stall hopping down at The Agora Althea our feet probably won't carry us further than back to the wagon. But thanks for asking." </div> <bR> <div> "Agricolus, I haven't been to Athens in a couple of years - what exactly is The Agora Althea?" </div> <bR> <div> "You HAVE been out of it a long time Hercules. The Agora Althea is the first of it's kind.  The biggest success story around since the first Olympics. Althea is the number-one clothing designer in all of Greece and she was tired of opening a store and having the landlord hike up the rent so she bought her own land and with the help of some big investor named Salmoneus she had them erect a three story building modeled after the Coliseum in Rome. It's so big that there are over three hundred vendor stalls inside.  You can buy everything known to man there. It even has an underground stable for the horses and wagons with free valet parking." </div> <bR> <div> "Hercules, if you haven't been in Athens for such a long time, what brings you here now?" </div> <bR> <div> "Iolaus and I have been invited to attend the Inauguration Ball for Pericles. I've known him for a long time. I think he'd also like us to check on the security for the event and make sure nothing happens to ruin the festivities." </div> <bR> <div> "Well, my friend. Good luck and give my best to Iolaus when you've found him." </div> <bR> <div> Agricolus' cart pulled off and Hercules resumed his walk to Athens. After just a few seconds of walking, Hercules had to maneuver himself  quickly so that he wouldn't be thrown off the side of the road by a speeding carriage pulled by four very stately Arabian stallions. He could hear a woman yelling to the driver from inside the carriage telling him to stop. After about 50 yards the carriage came to a screeching halt and a very well-dressed woman jumped out and started running back calling Hercules' name.</div> <bR> <div> As soon as the demigod recognized the woman inside the bundle of hitched up skirts he ran to meet her.<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FF0000" FACE="Arial" >  </FONT>She flung herself at him, buried her head against his great chest, crying her eyes out, and getting mascara all down the front of his shirt. </div> <bR> <div> He knew that he would have to be patient to get a coherent sentence out of Althea, so he just stood there, holding her, uttering soft encouraging words to help her calm down.  When she was calm enough to speak, Hercules led her back to the carriage. "Now tell me what all of this is about and I'll help you anyway I can." </div> <bR> <div> "Oh, Hercules. The most handsome and charming man came into my boutique last week. He was so strong and passionate and sweet talking that I lost my heart to him right away. Then he just disappeared two days ago without an explanation, without a good bye..." </div> <bR> <div> "Althea, I've just heard that you've become a very successful businesswoman and I know you're one of the sweetest women in the world, but not all men can be trusted to be honest with you. There are so many men out there who would take advantage of your good heart. What do you know about this man except that he's charming and handsome?" </div> <bR> <div> "He's your best friend...Iolaus!" </div> <bR> <div> "Oh! Iolaus! My partner Iolaus? Are you sure, Althea?" </div> <bR> <div> "I was a little wary when I first met him because he was so flirtatious but then he told me he was your best pal and he told me some of the same stories you did, you know, about your adventures together. He told me to call him 'lover' but I knew his name must be Iolaus because Iolaus is your best pal, right? Well I call him knave because he's stolen my heart and now he's disappeared. I thought he'd be with you." </div> <bR> <div> "I was on my way to Athens to meet him for the Inauguration. Althea, if he's done</div> <div> anything to hurt you, I swear I'll get to the bottom of it and make him explain himself and apologize. It's not like Iolaus to take advantage of a woman like that." </div> <bR> <div> "Can I offer you a ride in my carriage Hercules?<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FF0000" FACE="Arial" > </FONT> I've got to return to Athens quickly because there's so much that has to be done to get ready for the Inaugural Ball." </div> <bR> <div> "Of course, and you can tell me all about The Agora Althea on the ride back." </div> <bR> <div> (Commercial) </div> <bR> <div> In the meantime, off on a different road into Athens... </div> <bR> <div> Sweat glistened on the rippling muscles of the compact blond as he nimbly moved about the roof of a two-story building that was just under construction. He was experiencing a deep contentment with the work as it progressed under his very able hands. A warm feeling settled over his heart because he knew that the labor he was performing would benefit the orphans. He listened to them as they recited their lessons under a stand of oaks not too far from where he was working. He could hear the almost musical voice of the orphanage's benefactress as she led the children in their multiplication tables. </div> <bR> <div> "Rhythm children, rhythm. Make it like a song in your head and you'll never forget your tables my dears!" </div> <bR> <div> This brought a smile to the hunter's face. Gods, if he and Herc had only had teachers like that when they were youngsters, maybe he wouldn't have spent so much time daydreaming. He peeked over the side of the roof to get a look at the peaceful scene below when the sunlight in his hair caught the attention of children and benefactress alike. </div> <bR> <div> He turned to wave at them and the woman, taking note of his overheated appearance,  had some of the older children hoist a bucket of cold well water up to the roof for him.  He took the ladle and very quickly quenched his thirst. The cold water felt marvelous going down his parched throat but he realized that he would have to cool the rest of himself off too if he wanted to keep working in the hot sun to finish the roof today. </div> <bR> <div> He lifted the bucket over his head and turning his face upward he slowly allowed the water to cascade over his blond curls. Rivulets of water ran down his bronzed muscular chest. </div> <bR> <div> The benefactress watched the heart-stopping beauty of the scene in front of her with open-mouthed, lip quivering wonder. Her admiring eyes with fluttering lashes bespoke a near swoon. Just as she started fanning herself and muttering `oh, my...oh, my'. The  bucket slipped out of the golden man's grip and fell hitting him on the head effectively  breaking the magic of the moment for the benefactress and causing the children to giggle uncontrollably. </div> <bR> <div> "Enough jocularity children...back to work, back to work." As things started to settle down she cast one more lingering glance at the magnificent man on the roof and said,  "that one's a diamond in the rough, but what potential." </div> <bR> <div> Iolaus returned to work and let his thoughts drift back over the days he had spent helping these people build the orphanage. </div> <bR> <div> He realized that he was going to arrive way too early in Athens to meet Hercules and he didn't really like to spend time alone in the crowded city very much. Nothing unnerved him so much as to have to fight his way through crowded streets and noisy neighborhoods on a daily basis. Even if he had to sleep on the hard ground out in the open, it sure beat the feelings of claustrophobia he experienced every time he entered Athens. </div> <bR> <div> By a lucky turn of events he had met this group of orphaned children who were being cared for by a loving group of volunteers led by a very charismatic woman. She explained that she had taken practically all of the money from her business in order to put a roof over the children's heads and to provide them with schooling and recreation.</div> <bR> <div> They offered Iolaus free room and board if he would donate his time to the project, so he kept himself busy doing a good deed. </div> <bR> <div> Iolaus spent a good part of the past two weeks getting dirty, hitting his thumb with the hammer, and by being jumped on, beat up on and generally loved to death by the orphans. </div> <bR> <div> When the children discovered who he was, they begged him for stories of his</div> <div> adventures with Hercules. So his evenings were spent with the children and the</div> <div> volunteers telling stories and acting out his adventures with his famous partner. </div> <bR> <div> In the evening after the `bucket incident', Iolaus noted the absence of the benefactress. Tullius, a kindly, older gentleman who was going to be the headmaster of the orphanage explained that she had returned to Athens to re-open her business. The orphanage was going to need more money to get started and she felt it was her responsibility to supply the funds. </div> <bR> <div> Iolaus promised Tullius that he would bring the matter up with Pericles when he got to Athens for the Inauguration. With the patronage of Pericles and Aspasia the hunter was sure that the orphanage would flourish. </div> <bR> <div> In a tavern in the seedier part of Athens...</div> <bR> <div> Four rather large thugs threw some patrons out of a table and took it over for themselves. </div> <bR> <div> "Bring us ale and keep it coming," yelled the largest and ugliest of the bunch to the cowering barmaid. </div> <bR> <div> "Now gentlemen, down to business. Bructus here has trailed the King of Thieves to this part of Athens. We all know he wouldn't waste his time coming here unless there was a big payday involved. What with all this extra security for the Ball it's gonna make whatever heist he's planning extra difficult, so you know it's gotta be worth his while." </div> <bR> <div> "What do you think it is he's going after, boss?" </div> <bR> <div> "I don't know but we're going to find him and follow him and figure out exactly what his plans are so we can beat him to it. This place will be our headquarters and we'll report back here three times a day to compare notes. Are you with me?" </div> <bR> <div> "Yeah, boss, we're all with you." </div> <bR> <div> "Good, now get out of here and start looking for that crook."</div> <bR> <div> On the side of a less-used road to Athens...</div> <bR> <div> Autolycus, King of Thieves, found himself sitting on a very unlikely throne down by the riverbank. He was fighting a battle inside himself that was becoming all too familiar with him these days. He thought he was going soft and worried if he were losing his touch with his chosen trade. Talking to no one in particular he voiced his concerns about the turn his life was taking. </div> <bR> <div> "Ever since I started hanging out with Hercules and his little buddy, I'm gaining a</div> <div> conscience. I can't have one of those in my business. I'll be the laughing stock of the Cat Burglar's Guild; I'll be the butt of all their jokes. They'll start calling me `Robbing Good,' the `King of Dweebs' and stuff like that. Oh, the ridicule...the shame." </div> <bR> <div> "And the lovely Althea, such a sweet kid, such a warm heart. And her assets," closing his eyes and holding his hands out in front of him running them slowly up and down in an hour-glass fashion, "oh yes...can't forget her assets even if I tried." </div> <bR> <div> "Get a grip Autolycus! The gems on that dress are worth a million dinars. I could retire from the business for good with a take like that. And it's so easy -- just get back into the boutique, get past all that security, steal the gems off the dress, replace them with the fakes and nobody's the wiser. All I've got to do to get away with it is to make sure Althea doesn't see me. I can wait until she's busy with the fittings for all the other ball gowns and togas and do my thing with Aspasia's gown. That's all I have to do so why am I having a problem with this?" </div> <bR> <div> "No problem. I'm gonna get back in there and show myself what I can do. Make this my swan song -- my last hurrah -- the biggest heist in Grecian history and then I can go out on top." Then running his hands in the hourglass shape again he added, "must stay  away from Althea...must stay away." </div> <bR> <div> (Commercial) </div> <bR> <div> "I'm really impressed, Althea. This is quite some place you have here. I knew you had it in you from the moment I first met you as a shy young woman who wanted nothing more than to dance. You set your soul free and look what you've accomplished." </div> <bR> <div> "Thank you, Hercules. I owe a large part of that to your encouragement." </div> <bR> <div> "No, Althea. You have to take all the credit. All I did was point you in the right direction. You did the rest." </div> <bR> <div> "There's a bedroom behind the boutique. I usually use it on those nights when I work too late to go home. You're more than welcomed to use it while you're in Athens, Hercules. What are you going to do while you're here waiting?" </div> <bR> <div> "I'm not planning on just sitting here, waiting for Iolaus to show up. I'm going to look for him .<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FF0000" FACE="Arial" > </FONT> I want this problem solved before the Inauguration Ball. I'll take you up on your offer,      Althea. This seems to be a good place to start looking for him. If he's still in Athens this place is the center of attraction and I'm sure he'll show up again sooner or later." </div> <bR> <div> "Thank you, Hercules. I just want to ask him one question when you find him. I want to know `why.' Why did he disappear when I thought things were going so well between us?" </div> <bR> <div> "I promise I'll help you get your answer Althea. Good night." </div> <bR> <div> The next few days were very busy for all of Athens, but especially so for four very</div> <div> important players in the exciting events. </div> <bR> <div> Althea worked almost non-stop -- by day she was turning out the hundreds of gowns and togas ordered by the elite of Athens. By night she was delicately sewing the final gems onto Aspasia's gown with golden thread. </div> <bR> <div> Autolycus trained almost non-stop -- by day he was practicing his technique to break into the boutique and bypass the security detail. By night he was practicing his sewing techniques so he could remove the gems from the dress and replace them with the fakes he had made earlier in the week. He was aiming for a record time of 45 minutes, which was the longest time the dress was ever left alone during the course of the day. </div> <bR> <div> Hercules searched almost non-stop -- by day he haunted the fishing spots on the outskirts of the city and the inns with the most food for the cheapest prices. <FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FF0000" FACE="Arial" > </FONT>By night he haunted the taverns with the prettiest serving girls. </div> <bR> <div> Iolaus labored almost non-stop -- by day he was helping the other volunteers put the finishing touches on the orphanage and building the beds and desks for the children. By night he entertained them with his stories. The boys and girls crawled all over him with over enthusiastic affection, and Iolaus took an occasional elbow in the eye or bloody nose from a well-intentioned, but misplaced foot to the face. </div> <bR> <div> The hunter was on his way to bed early one evening. He knew that he only had a few days left before he would be forced to meet Hercules in Athens and he was planning to enjoy his last few days of open spaces and fresh air when Tullius approached him with a request. </div> <bR> <div> "Iolaus, the construction workers are beginning to run out of some supplies to finish the walls and ceilings in the children's dormitory. I have to meet with the Athenian board of education people otherwise I'd make the supply run myself. Do you think you could take the wagon in to Athens tomorrow and pick up the supplies we need to finish the job?" </div> <bR> <div> "I was hoping that I wouldn't have to go into the city yet, Tullius. But since you're not available, I guess I'm your man. Of course I'll go." </div> <bR> <div> "Good, I'll wake you early and give you the list. Thanks Iolaus." </div> <bR> <div> (Commercial) </div> <bR> <div> Two of the large crooks who had been scouting around Athens for Autolycus finally located him and trailed him to The Agora Althea. Autolycus realized that he was being tailed but thought they were some of Althea's security forces that she had sent out to look for him. The King of Thieves led the two crooks for a merry chase through the vendor stalls at the Agora. </div> <bR> <div> Hercules recognized Autolycus as he darted between fitting booths next to a ladies' clothing stall. He was going to approach the thief to ask him if he had seen Iolaus anytime during the past couple of weeks. Just as he turned to make the interception he spotted his partner walking around the "This Old Portico" section of the Agora. Without giving the King of Thieves a second thought, Hercules turned to follow the hunter into the stalls filled with hammers and nails, saws and axes -- all your construction needs in one place. `What will they think of next,' admired the demigod as he flew past the stalls looking for Iolaus. </div> <bR> <div> By the time the demigod made it through the maze of vendor stalls, Iolaus had already finished his business and was leading the wagon back on the road to the orphanage. </div> <bR> <div> It took almost an hour for Hercules to find the road that his friend took to leave the city, but as soon as he found the trail it was very easy to follow. He found his partner putting the finishing touches on a desk he was building for the headmaster. </div> <bR> <div> "Iolaus?" </div> <bR> <div> "Hercules! It's good to see you, buddy!" </div> <bR> <div> "What are you doing here?" </div> <bR> <div> "I'm helping these people build a home and school for a group of orphans. You see, I was on the road to Athens to meet you and I was going to be there too early so when I met this wonderful woman and her troop of volunteers and the kids...Herc, you've got to meet these kids...well, I just had to help them." </div> <bR> <div> "A wonderful woman, huh? I should have known there was another woman involved in this." </div> <bR> <div> "What are you talking about Herc? Another woman?" </div> <bR> <div> "I'm talking about what you did back there in Athens. I'm talking about you leading Althea along with a bunch of sweet talk and flirting and then disappearing into thin air and leaving her with a broken heart. I know that's not like you Iolaus. But now that I know there's another woman involved it kind of makes sense." </div> <bR> <div> "I don't know what you're talking about Hercules. I don't know anyone named Althea." </div> <bR> <div> "Oh, please Iolaus. One of your big selling points was telling her you were my partner so she would feel more comfortable with you. How could you do that...taking advantage of our friendship for your own ends, Iolaus? I don't understand. Now you're going to come back to Athens with me and apologize to Althea. It breaks my heart to see her like this." Hercules grabbed Iolaus by his arm and started to drag him back to the wagon. </div> <bR> <div> "Let go of me Hercules. I'm not going back to Athens, and I don't know what you're talking about. I've only been in Athens for about an hour and that was this morning. I don't know anyone named Althea and I don't think I really know you right now either," replied the hunter as he tried to pull himself out of Hercules iron grip. </div> <bR> <div> A chorus of protesting voices was raised as the children saw the large man pulling their friend Iolaus towards the wagon apparently against his will. Filled with stories of heroism and of fighting warlords and monsters, the children agreed, as one, to help their friend get away from the "big, bad man." </div> <bR> <div> In the blink of an eye the demigod found himself surrounded by twenty children of all ages. One of the oldest children confronted Hercules. "Let go of our friend Iolaus right now or we'll make you sorry mister." </div> <bR> <div> "Iolaus is my friend, we're just going back to Athens to talk so you kids go back to play and leave us alone, okay?" </div> <bR> <div> "Iolaus, is this man bothering you," asked the older children? </div> <bR> <div> Iolaus thought quickly before he answered "yes, kids he's trying to take me back to Athens and I don't want to go with him." </div> <bR> <div> "Iolaus, what are you telling them?" </div> <bR> <div> "The truth, Herc. Something's wrong here and from what you say someone's abusing my good name and I'm going to find out what's going on. And I'm not going with you to apologize to someone I've never even met before." </div> <bR> <div> Then looking at the kids Iolaus added, "He's all yours kids -- don't hurt him too much." </div> <bR> <div> Before he knew what hit him, the demigod found himself pinned at the bottom of a pile of kicking and screaming children and the last thing Hercules saw was Iolaus running down the road to Athens right before a rather large-sized child landed really hard on his face. </div> <bR> <div> By the time Tullius heard the commotion and came to rescue the demigod, the hunter was long gone and Hercules was sporting a bloody nose and several painful bites and bruises. </div> <bR> <div> "What's going on here children?" </div> <bR> <div> "This bad man tried to hurt our Iolaus and we helped him escape like real heroes." </div> <bR> <div> "Sir, you'd better have a good excuse for being here. Iolaus is our friend, and we won't see him hurt by you or anyone else" </div> <bR> <div> "He's my friend too and I should have remembered that before I made a fool of myself. My name is Hercules and you are?" </div> <bR> <div> "Hercules! Children, this is Hercules. Iolaus has spent the better part of the past two weeks telling us all about you and your friendship and your adventures together. He has helped us build the orphanage and the school while he was waiting to join you in Athens. He's a good workman and he's been just wonderful with the children. Oh, and I'm Tullius, I'm the headmaster here." </div> <bR> <div> "Nice to meet you, Tullius. You mean that Iolaus has been here for the past two weeks and he hasn't been anywhere near Athens?" </div> <bR> <div> "That's right. He's been here the whole time except this morning when I sent him in to Athens for supplies. Why, Hercules is something wrong?" </div> <bR> <div> "Yes, there is something wrong and I have to find Iolaus to apologize for jumping to some wrong conclusions and then help find out who's been impersonating him." </div> <bR> <div> "Please, Hercules. When you've finished your business in Athens could you return with Iolaus for the opening ceremonies? I'm sure our great benefactress would be most happy to have you as a guest at the festivities." </div> <bR> <div> "Um, this benefactress of yours, she must be a remarkable woman to inspire such good works." </div> <bR> <div> "Oh yes, Hercules. She is quite a remarkable woman. Inner beauty that shines right through to a most beautiful face and other charms, if you know what I mean," chuckled Tullius. </div> <bR> <div> "Thank you and I promise that Iolaus and I will be back for the opening ceremonies." </div> <bR> <div> As Hercules walked towards the road to Athens he mused, "I just knew there was a beautiful woman involved. Iolaus would never do all that work otherwise. She must be a really special woman to inspire my partner for a full two weeks." </div> <bR> <div> (Commercial) </div> <bR> <div> Iolaus knew that he had never met this woman Althea so he figured that she was the best one to start with to find out who had been impersonating him. He easily found her boutique and started asking questions of the clerks and security guards. </div> <bR> <div> Althea's employees were more than happy to help. She was the best and kindest employer any of them had ever worked for and they were all anxious to find the man who had made their boss so unhappy. Just as easily he discovered that the impersonator fit the exact description of their old acquaintance Autolycus. </div> <bR> <div> `It figures,' thought the hunter to himself. `He steals everything else so why should I be surprised that he would steal my good name. I'm not going to allow him to ruin my reputation though. I've got to find him before this goes any further and prove to Herc that I'm not a heel.' </div> <bR> <div> Armed with the knowledge that he was looking for the King of Thieves, Iolaus headed straight to the seedier part of Athens to scour the taverns and inns to pick up Auto's trail. </div> <bR> <div> In one particularly dark and dirty tavern the hunter ordered ale and asked the barmaid if she recognized the description of a man named Autolycus. She replied that she had never met the man but there were four very mean men who talked about him all the time. "They seem to know where he is, mister, because they follow him around like bloodhounds every day then report back here to let the others know what he's doing. Is this Autolycus person famous or something?" </div> <bR> <div> "You could say that. Thanks for your help," replied Iolaus as he flipped her a pretty tip for her troubles. </div> <bR> <div> The blond hunter<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FF0000" FACE="Arial" > </FONT>approached the table where the four nasty crooks had established their headquarters.  </div> <bR> <div> "Gentlemen, I have a proposition for you," the hunter said.</div> <bR> <div> "Gentlemen? Did you hear that Bructus? He's mistaken us for gentlemen. What do you want, shorty? Lost the rest of your legs and need help finding them?" The four crooks let out a very loud laugh at the hunter's expense, but Iolaus kept smiling and joined them in their laughter. </div> <bR> <div> "What kind of a proposition did you have in mind, midget?" </div> <bR> <div> "You have some information I need -- and with that information you men can share a reward of 5,000 gold dinars. Interested?" </div> <bR> <div> "What's in it for you little man?" </div> <bR> <div> "Revenge. I don't want the money but I do want my satisfaction. Now, are you interested in helping me or not?" replied the hunter. </div> <bR> <div> The crooks looked at each other, silently agreeing. The reward money sounded nice. "What information do you want from us?" </div> <bR> <div> "I want to know the whereabouts of Autolycus and I understand you know where I can find him. He stole something from me that's more precious than gold and I want to take a piece out of his hide. Will you help me?" </div> <bR> <div> "Yeah, we're in. We just need to find out what he's up to first then you can take him and do whatever you want with him. When do we get the reward money?" </div> <bR> <div> "As soon as I have what I want from him, I'll tell you all where to go...I mean, to get your just reward." </div> <bR> <div> "It's a deal. Come back here right before sunset, short stuff, and you can come with us. But remember you have to stay real quiet. We don't want him to know we're tailing him." </div> <bR> <div> Finding himself with about 6 hours to go before sunset, Iolaus hightailed it out of the foul city air to a quiet place near the riverbank. He wanted to catch a couple of fish and have a meal before heading back to Athens and his encounter with Autolycus. He needed this time to think things out and plan on how he would deal with the King of Thieves when he confronted him. Lost deep in thought, the hunter almost missed hearing the soft sounds of someone approaching the clearing. He searched the area for something to use as a weapon in case he had to defend himself but it wasn't necessary. The intruder was only Hercules. All he would have to do is stay out of reach until he was sure Herc wasn't going to try to grab him again. </div> <bR> <div> Iolaus backed himself into an area that would make it easy for him to evade the</div> <div> demigod if he had to. When Hercules saw his best friend make the move he winced at the painful tug it caused to his already guilt-ridden heart. <FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FF0000" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <bR> <div> "Iolaus, please don't move away from me like that. I've come to apologize for acting like such a jerk back there. I should never have questioned your word that you weren't involved in this, I should never have doubted you not even for one second. Please, can you ever forgive me?" </div> <bR> <div> "I don't know Herc; it hurt kind of badly that you would take the word of some woman I don't even know over mine. I thought you knew me better than that. Haven't I always tried to teach you how to let a woman down easy? I'm shocked that you thought I'd ever leave a woman without fixing things between us first... Herc...whoa! Wait a minute Herc. Are you sweet on this woman Althea? Is that why you took her word over mine?" </div> <bR> <div> "No! Iolaus. Althea and me? No, it's not like that. Yeah, I like Althea a lot but she's more like the little sister I never had. She's a bit naive and people could easily take advantage of her." </div> <bR> <div> "Herc, is that what happened? I mean, did this guy take advantage of Althea, you know, like really take advantage of her?" </div> <bR> <div> "I'm not sure, Iolaus, but for some reason I don't think it went that far. She's still talking like this is a relationship that can be salvaged if she sees the guy again." </div> <bR> <div> "Thank the gods he still has that chivalrous nature of his, otherwise I'd have to really hurt him for using my good name," murmured the hunter. </div> <bR> <div> "You know who did this Iolaus?" </div> <bR> <div> "Yeah Herc, it's Autolycus." </div> <bR> <div> "So there's more to this than just stealing a young girls affection." </div> <bR> <div> "Looks like it Herc. Let's compare notes then maybe you can come up with a plan." </div> <bR> <div> The heroes talked and planned for the rest of the day. They were sure in their</div> <div> conviction that Aspasia's dress was the real target for Autolycus' affection here.</div> <div> Before long they had a plan to trap the thief before he could do any additional damage.</div> <bR> <div> Right before Iolaus went back into Athens for his sunset rendezvous with the crooks he patched things up between himself and the demigod. As much as he would love to keep stringing his partner along with the guilt trip, he took one last look at his best friend and melted. </div> <bR> <div>    (Commercial) </div> <bR> <div> Hercules went back to the boutique to tell Althea he had found Iolaus and that his partner would be coming to the Agora to meet with them and explain everything later this evening. Althea was overjoyed that she was going to have a chance to see the demigod's friend again and finally get some answers. But she was extremely busy with last minute details, what with the ball only being one day away so she excused herself and told Hercules that he could find her in the back of the shop with Aspasia's dress if she was needed. </div> <bR> <div> Hercules found himself a comfortable but inconspicuous place to sit, behind a giant potted fern next to a rather garish fountain in the center of the mall where he waited for his partner and the King of Thieves. </div> <bR> <div> Iolaus made his way back to the tavern and joined the four crooks in winding their way through the back streets of Athens until they caught the trail of the master crook himself. They followed the stealthy thief to The Agora Althea as he snaked his way through the underground stables. They tailed him to the freight entrance where he used his grappling hook to sneak up an airshaft that came out in a narrow corridor behind the designer's boutique. </div> <bR> <div> The crooks were too large to pass through the airshaft so they let Iolaus follow</div> <div> Autolycus while they found an easier way up to the next floor. </div> <bR> <div> Iolaus made it to the top of the shaft just in time to see the King of Thieves begin to apply a crowbar to a loose stone at the back of the boutique. As silently as he could, the hunter snuck up on his prey and pounced, temporarily disorienting the thief and knocking the wind out of him. </div> <bR> <div> "What the?!?" exclaimed the master thief as he found himself in a desperate wrestling match with what seemed to be a creature with a hundred arms and legs. When he collected his wits he found himself pinned to the ground by someone with a very familiar face. </div> <bR> <div> "Personally, I don't care what you steal Autolycus I'm all for free enterprise just as long as it doesn't hurt anybody...but when it's my good name and reputation you're doing damage to...that's where I draw the line." </div> <bR> <div> Iolaus attempted to tie the thief's hands but Auto would have none of that and he</div> <div> continued to struggle to free himself from the blonde's iron grip. </div> <bR> <div> The little fight spilled out into the main corridor of the mall, right in front of Althea's boutique and that's when Hercules jumped into the fray. He wasn't really as concerned that his partner would get hurt as he was that Iolaus' quest for revenge might cause some permanent damage to the King of Thieves. </div> <bR> <div> As the four crooks approached the scene of the melee they could hear the awed whispers all around them. "Hercules...yeah, that's Hercules, watch him handle those two brawlers like they were rag dolls. Amazing Hercules is...just amazing." The name of the demigod was enough to stop them in their tracks and they all blended into the crowd to see what the outcome of this little drama would be. </div> <bR> <div> Everyone inside the boutique could hear the commotion going on outside and they rushed out to catch a piece of the action. Althea was the last one out of the door and what she saw caused her heart to skip a beat. </div> <bR> <div> Hercules was holding two squirming men by the scruffs of their necks about a foot off the ground and yelling at them for silence. </div> <bR> <div> The crowd quieted as they saw Althea approach the demigod and his two captives. "You've found Iolaus for me." </div> <bR> <div> "Yeah, I have and I've also found..." </div> <bR> <div> Before the demigod could finish his sentence she addressed the thief saying, "Iolaus, how could you!" Then she raised her hand and struck him across the face as hard as she could. The King of Thieves met her tearful eyes but didn't respond. He just hung his head in shame before her. Althea turned to leave when Hercules found his voice. </div> <bR> <div> "Wait! Althea! This is my best friend and partner Iolaus," the demigod said as he lowered the hunter to the ground next to the designer. </div> <bR> <div> Althea couldn't speak for a minute so Iolaus stuck his hand out and said, "I'm pleased to finally meet you Althea, Herc's been telling me some great stories about your adventures with him. I'm sorry I missed them, I would have loved to see the big guy dance just once in my life." </div> <bR> <div> Althea finally found her voice and taking Iolaus' hand in hers she said, "Iolaus? If you're really Iolaus then who is he?" She pointed to the man who was still dangling from the end of the demigod's arm like an overlarge Solstice tree decoration. </div> <bR> <div> "That sorry excuse for a human being is Autolycus," sneered the hunter. </div> <bR> <div> "Autolycus! You mean that's the King of Thieves?" squealed Althea. </div> <bR> <div> "King of Creeps is more like it," Iolaus continued. </div> <bR> <div> "Enough," the demigod interjected. "If we're going to get to the bottom of this we're going to need some answers so start talking Autolycus before I lose my temper." </div> <bR> <div> "I've got nothing to say Hercules. Just let me go and I promise I'll never show my face around here again," grumbled the thief. </div> <bR> <div> "Not so fast, my friend. You've done your best to damage Iolaus' good name and I'm not going to see him get hurt like that by you or anyone else. Now, explain," demanded the demigod. </div> <bR> <div> Autolycus tried to slip away into the crowd but Hercules caught him by the scruff of the neck again and shook him hard while demanding in a loud voice, "I said explain!" </div> <bR> <div> The hard shaking he was getting from the demigod caused his belt pouch to loosen causing a cascade of shiny gems to fall from the thief's clothes and bounce off the marble floors of the mall. </div> <bR> <div> The security police acted quickly, cordoning the area off from the onlookers who were eager to grab for the gems, which were rolling across the polished floors in every direction. </div> <bR> <div> A high-ranking soldier appeared from the crowd and introduced himself as the</div> <div> commander of the Athenian security police. "Let's take this inside, away from the inquiring eyes of the crowd. My men will collect the gems and join us in the boutique." </div> <bR> <div> Sitting between Hercules and Iolaus, the King of Thieves swore he didn't steal the gems that were now sitting in a large pile on the desk in front of them. Althea stood in the corner quietly listening to all of the proceedings. </div> <bR> <div> The police commander was finished with his questioning and he turned to the group and said, "I want you to hold this man here for me. I've sent some of these gems off with my men for appraisal by a jeweler." Then turning to Autolycus he added, "If these gems are the real things, you're going to prison for a very long time mister." </div> <bR> <div> Althea stepped forward saying, "he's not going anywhere because the questioning hasn't been finished. I still have to ask mine." She approached the thief and stood directly in front of him. "Look at me, Autolycus. I want to see your eyes. I only have one question for you. Why?" </div> <bR> <div> "You're asking for a lot, Althea. It's something I can't even begin to explain because I don't understand it myself." </div> <bR> <div> Hercules cleared his throat and said, "excuse me, but you owe both Althea and Iolaus some kind of explanation for your recent actions and I, for one would love to hear your side of the story." </div> <bR> <div> Autolycus looked up into Althea's eyes and began talking. "You see, I heard about the grand plans for Aspasia's dress from a friend of mine in the fashion industry. I had the gems made for me by the same jeweler who cut the real gems. He was supposed to get a 15 percent commission after I fenced the jewels. I had to find a way to get on the inside because Althea's security is so good. Not 100 percent King of Thieves proof -- but good." </div> <bR> <div> "Everyone knows the stories about how Hercules helped Althea find her way in the designer business -- so I thought by dropping your name and making myself welcomed it would be an easy way to get inside. Well, I couldn't very well tell her I was Autolycus, friend of Hercules -- so I just borrowed Shorty's identity here<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FF0000" FACE="Arial" ><B> </B></FONT>and `Voila' I'm in like Flintus. I flirted a little just like Blondie here usually does, but it started getting serious real fast. Then, I broke Hermes' First Cardinal Rule of Thievery -- never develop feelings for your intended victims. </div> <bR> <div> "That's why I disappeared. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. The police will find that the gems I had on me are fake. I never touched the dress." </div> <bR> <div> "Well, we'll see about that," muttered the hunter. </div> <bR> <div> "We don't have to wait -- I can see the truth in his eyes," claimed Althea as she bent to claim the King of Thieves lips in a searing kiss. </div> <bR> <div> Hercules and Iolaus both turned their faces away quickly. "I didn't need to see that," murmured the demigod just as a young police officer entered the office and saluted his commander. </div> <bR> <div> "Sir, the gems we collected from Autolycus are all fakes. It looks as if we'll have to let him go." </div> <bR> <div> "Okay, son. I'll let him go, but I don't think she will!" snickered the commander as he pointed to the lip-locked duo. </div> <bR> <div> Just as the commander was turning to leave, Autolycus came up for air and shouted for him to stay. </div> <bR> <div> "Officer, please listen. For the past couple of days there have been four very nasty looking characters shadowing my every move. One of them looks very familiar to me. I think I may have met him in pris...dire circumstances one time and I'm sure that he and his cohorts are up to no good. That's why I was coming back. I knew that if I could sneak back into the boutique and hide out in the room with the dress -- that I'd be in a good position to foil their plans and keep Althea from coming to any harm." </div> <bR> <div> "You're right," Iolaus chimed in. "Those guys are bad news and if they have any idea that the gems on the dress are still the real ones -- they could be planning something stupid to get at them." </div> <bR> <div> Hercules summed things up with, "Well, the both of you know what these crooks look like so we should be able to foil whatever plans they come up with. Let them try their best and we'll be ready for them." </div> <bR> <div> Back at the dirty tavern, the four large crooks met to discuss their next steps. </div> <bR> <div> "Bructus here found out that the real gems are still on the dress. Autolycus still had the fakes on him when Hercules caught him." </div> <bR> <div> "What do we do now. boss? The security's been tripled both inside and outside of the boutique." </div> <bR> <div> "Well, if we can't take the dress from the boutique, we take it while it's on the way to the Ball." </div> <bR> <div> "But, Aspasia will be wearing it on the way to the Ball." </div> <bR> <div> "So we take Aspasia and the dress -- then we get rid of Aspasia." </div> <bR> <div> "Sounds like a plan boss. Sounds like a good plan."   </div> <bR> <div> (Commercial) </div> <bR> <div> The heroes' plans were also set. All they had to do was bide their time waiting for the grand ceremonies before the ball to begin. </div> <bR> <div> Althea outdid herself with the outfits she prepared for Hercules, Iolaus and Autolycus to wear to the Ball. Hercules' outfit was reminiscent of what the demigod wore when he and Althea won the dance contest in Rumba. Iolaus was a near royal vision in deep purple and black velvet with gold brocade trimmings. Hercules was impressed by the appearance of his partner. Even after more than 25 years of friendship the demigod had never seen his friend this dressed up. Althea was also pleased by what she saw when the hunter presented himself for inspection. She smiled and said, "Those colors are great on you." Then turning to the demigod she said "It's just him...why mess with a good thing." </div> <bR> <div> Autolycus was magnificently turned out in a hunter green tunic with skintight breeches that accented some of his best assets. Soft brown boots, belts and hat finished his ensemble. Althea appeared to be more impressed by his appearance than anybody and she showed him with a great big kiss. </div> <bR> <div> "I'm so glad you came back, Autolycus." </div> <bR> <div> "So am I Althea. You've got a magnetic personality and your charms kept pulling me back." </div> <bR> <div> "Oh, so it's my charms you couldn't resist," she asked as she pulled him into another searing kiss. </div> <bR> <div> "Yeah and viva la couldn't resistance!" he whispered against her lips before diving in for more. </div> <bR> <div> "Can we go before I get sick all over my new clothes," asked the hunter? </div> <bR> <div> "Yeah, we've got to be there and in our places before Pericles and Aspasia arrive," added the demigod. </div> <bR> <div> So they all loaded into Althea's carriage and took off for the Ball. </div> <bR> <div> When the carriage pulled up in front of The Grand Athenian Ballroom the two heroes hopped out and ran up the stairs to find the Commander of Police and see if all the security was in place for Pericles swearing in. Assured that everything was under control they joined Autolycus and Althea in front of the massive stage and told them to stay put and keep their eyes open for the crooks. Hercules and Iolaus were going to circulate through the arriving throngs to see if they could spot them first and head off any trouble before it could get started. </div> <bR> <div> The heroes could cover more ground by splitting up so they went their separate ways yet they constantly kept tabs on each other's location in case instant back up was needed. </div> <bR> <div> Iolaus spotted the first large crook; the one they called Bructus, not ten feet away from him. The hunter raised his head to point out the thief to his partner. As they were communicating with each other across the large room by use of hand signals, Iolaus spotted the second crook coming up rapidly behind his partner and alerted the demigod just before a large hand came down on his partner's head with a staggering blow. </div> <bR> <div> Because of his partner's warning, Hercules was braced for the blow and he took it in stride, reaching behind him with all his might he grabbed the large crook and attempted to drop him with a round-house punch. His fist landed on the guy's jaw and it sent a jolt straight up the demigod's arm. It was like hitting hardened steel, or Ares' head. This wasn't going to be easy. He realized that the crook was all brawn and couldn't make too many quick moves, so Hercules changed his strategy, dancing around the thief, taking quick jabs and wearing him down. The big guy would tire soon enough and the demigod could come in to finish him off. </div> <bR> <div> The hunter wasn't having an easy time of it either. Bructus proved to be as immoveable as a brick wall. He tried every trick in his fight book to take the crook out but it didn't seem to be making much of an impression on the large man. </div> <bR> <div> `Even Achilles had a weakness,' Iolaus thought. "I'm just going to have to find the one on this guy.' </div> <bR> <div> He hadn't been able to touch Bructus on his face from the very beginning of the fight because the big crook kept his hands up in a good defensive position. That gave the hunter all the information he needed to take the giant down. </div> <bR> <div> Iolaus was so grateful that Althea hadn't thought to dress him in a toga tonight like the majority of the guests were. Whispering a quick thank you to the Muse of Fashion the hunter came at the crook from the side. He jumped high with his foot extended catching Bructus in the jaw and, without giving him a chance to recover, Iolaus hit the ground, rolled between the big crook's legs and bracing his hands on the floor, he shot out both his feet in a donkey kick. That kick caught Bructus just behind his knees collapsing him face first into one of the marble columns that lined the main dance floor.</div> <bR> <div> The hunter climbed onto the back of the knocked out crook. From there he had a better vantage point to locate and summons the Commander of Police. They arrived at the spot immediately and Iolaus gave them instructions to tie the thief up and take him away while he went to check on Hercules' progress with the biggest of the crooks. </div> <bR> <div> Hercules was standing over the unconscious mountain of a man when his partner found him on the other side of the ballroom. "Good, we got these two. Let's go find the others." </div> <bR> <div> "Iolaus, I have a bad feeling about this. I think these two were sent here to create a diversion while the other two carry out their real plan<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FF0000" FACE="Arial" >.  </FONT>You go alert the Commander of Police.   I'll get  Autolycus and meet you at the front entrance." </div> <bR> <div> Seeing that the demigod and his partner were engaged in fighting the two biggest crooks, Autolycus was surveying the crowd trying to locate the other two bad guys when he heard a woman's screams coming from the doorway at the top of the steps. He headed in that direction with Althea hot at his heels. That's when he saw the other two crooks dragging the screaming Aspasia down the stairs, over the broken and bleeding bodies of her security detail, towards a waiting carriage. </div> <bR> <div> The piercing screams could be heard throughout the ballroom. Hercules and Iolaus both turned towards the main entrance and saw that Autolycus and Althea had made it there before them. The heroes took off at a run but didn't think they'd cover the distance of the massive ballroom in time to make a rescue. </div> <bR> <div> Autolycus knew he wouldn't be fast enough to out run the thieves yet he knew he had to slow them down until the demigod and the hunter could come to the rescue. As he thought, his hand brushed against his belt pouch and an idea lit up his handsome face. He yanked the pouch off of his belt and threw it as hard as he could. The pouch landed just under the feet of the two crooks and exploded, coating the stairs with all the small fake gems inside. They acted like little ball bearings under the two crooks and they couldn't maintain their footing. They tumbled down the stairs, leaving Aspasia in a heap on one of the steps, shaken but basically unharmed. Autolycus carefully descended the stairs to where the two crooks lay, moaning and groaning and holding their heads as Hercules and Iolaus appeared at the top of the steps. </div> <bR> <div> Pericles joined Aspasia on the stairs and escorted her into the ballroom where the couple was greeted by loud cheering and thunderous applause. Immediately after the speeches the attention of the crowd was drawn to Aspasia who pulled Pericles over to the heroes to thank them for rescuing her and the dress. Pericles explained to the whole assembly that the next day the dress and the gems were going to be auctioned to the highest bidder and all of the proceeds from the sale would go to benefit the free public education system in Athens. Pericles turned to the two heroes and the King of Thieves saying, "not only have you saved my lovely Aspasia, gentlemen but you've done a very great service today for the youth of Greece." </div> <bR> <div> "Yes," agreed Aspasia. "If it weren't for the quick actions of this wonderful man</div> <div> everything would have been lost." And with that she started to pull about 10 gems off of her dress and she handed them to Autolycus. "Please accept this as a reward for your heroism and as a token of our gratitude." </div> <bR> <div> Autolycus accepted the gems, admired them for a brief moment and made to stuff them into his shirtfront pocket, when he felt the demigod's hand circle his wrist and saw the son of Zeus shaking his head. "You owe someone restitution for sullying his good name. This might be a good way to clear your conscience don't you think?" </div> <bR> <div> "You're perfectly right, Hercules. Here Blondie. If it weren't for you, I probably wouldn't be this happy tonight so some of this reward should go to you," and Autolycus handed the hunter three of the gems that Aspasia had just given him. </div> <bR> <div> Iolaus took exception to the fact that Autolycus was going to get away with murder again and be rewarded handsomely for it at the same time, so he raised his voice and addressed Pericles. </div> <bR> <div> "Your Excellency, your generous donation will be of great service to the youth of</div> <div> Greece. In fact, I've just spent the past two weeks volunteering my services to build a school and a dormitory for a wonderful group of orphans. I believe that the patroness of that orphanage is here tonight and I would like to donate my share of the gems to her for the support of the school. And my good friend Autolycus here said he would match my donation two for one." </div> <bR> <div> Althea grabbed Autolycus around the neck and gave him a big kiss. "You are such a generous man and I love you for that." The King of Thieves just threw dirty looks the hunter's way as he handed over the six gems to Iolaus. </div> <bR> <div> They heard a large gasp and a great flutter of activity as the benefactress made her way to the front of the crowd. </div> <bR> <div> Iolaus turned to his best friend and said, "Herc, this is the most charismatic woman I have ever met in my whole life. You've just got to meet her, she's wonderful." </div> <bR> <div> "She must really be something to have made such an impression on you, my friend. Where is this feminine wonder?" </div> <bR> <div> "Right here Herc. Let me present to you the Widow Twanky." </div> <bR> <div> "Twanky? You were talking about Twanky?" questioned the demigod. </div> <bR> <div> "Oh, have you two already met?" queried the hunter. </div> <bR> <div> "Hello my dear one! And you Hercules, you naughty boy where have you been? How good to see you again." </div> <bR> <div> Hercules for his part remembered his lessons and bending low over her dainty hand he brushed his lips to it. </div> <bR> <div> "Oh my, I knew it was getting hot in here. Come Hercules, we'll lead off the first dance and then you can fan me while we catch up on old times," the Widow purred as she place her vise like grip on his bicep and pulled the reluctant demigod off towards the dance floor. </div> <bR> <div> As she and the demigod brushed past the hunter on the way to the dance, Iolaus felt a strong hand grabbing him rather familiarly on the rear and it made him jump. Twanky turned to him, batting her long eyelashes and said "Wait right here Sweetcheeks, you're next on my dance card." </div> <bR> <div> Auto and Althea, Herc and Twanky, Pericles and Aspasia all led the first dance of the evening and they all partied hearty till the break of dawn.</div> <div>  </div> <div> The End.</div> <div>  </div> <div> Disclaimer: Iolaus' reputation for letting the ladies down easy was not truly damaged in this episode. </div> <bR> <div>   <NOSCRIPT><A HREF="http://guestbook.mycomputer.com/guest.html?u=dolittle10&b=1">Sign my Guestbook.</A></NOSCRIPT> <NOSCRIPT><A HREF="http://guestbook.mycomputer.com/guest.html?u=dolittle10&b=1&show=1">View my Guestbook.</A></NOSCRIPT> <SCRIPT Language=JavaScript src="http://guestbook.mycomputer.com/get_guestbook.html?u=dolittle10&b=1"> </SCRIPT>   </div> <bR> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>