Beggars and Choosers: Cast of Characters

The power players of LGT

Cast of Characters

Click on a character to skip to their description.

Rob and the Luddins

Rob Malone (Brian Kerwin) Rob Malone (Brian Kerwin) is the president of LGT. Usually, he is the lone voice of sanity in the crazy world of television, keeping his cool as best he can while dealing with whoever happens to own the network at the moment. He also tries to divide his attention between his high-maintenance job and his higher-maintenance family.
Classic Quote:

Cecile Malone (Isabella Hofmann) Cecile Malone (Isabella Hofmann) is Rob's wife. She does her best to support her husband, despite her frustration at how much time he spends on his job. She has expressed a great desire to have another child, but she is currently considering moving across the country to New York for a job at the Museum of Modern Art.
Classic quote: "You know, maybe it's just the non-alcoholic champagne talking, but right now I'd find you very attractive even if I weren't ovulating."

Lori Volpone (Charlotte Ross) Lori Volpone (Charlotte Ross) is vice president of development at LGT. Lori is easily the most scheming person at the network, and there is very little she won't do in hopes of advancing her career. When she isn't making a play to move up the ranks at LGT, she's busy making sure no one's out to get her.
Classic quote: "Whatever happened to expensive gifts and fucking?"

Brad Advail (William McNamara) Brad Advail (William McNamara) is an agent. He represents such petulant stars as Yolanda Mercedes and Sandra Cassandra, and he frequently proves to be a thorn in Rob's side. His relationship with Lori is much more friendly, and involves phones, celebrities, food, and sex (usually all at one time).
Classic quote: "Sometimes, it's good to be bad."

Malcolm Laffley (Tuc Watkins) Malcolm Laffley (Tuc Watkins) is LGT's vice president of talent. He worked as a closeted homosexual for many years. Then, he was placed at the center of a scandal when Sandra Cassandra falsely accused him of sexual harassment, and finally came out of the closet in an attempt to clear his name.
Classic quote: "Even a vegetarian knows what to do with a hamburger!"

Parker Meridian (Paul Provenza) Parker Meridian (Paul Provenza) was the hilarious but egomaniacal star of the hit LGT show "Parker's Pals." He was romantically involved with Rob's daughter, Audrey. Sadly, Parker was killed in a freak accident on a film set.
Classic quote: "I'm not mocking you, I'm refuting you."

Audrey Malone (Keegan Connor Tracy) Audrey Malone (Keegan Connor Tracy) is Rob and Cecile's slightly flaky 21-year-old daughter. She knew her father would be outraged by her relationship with Parker, but she couldn't help herself. She moved back in with her parents after Parker died and tried inseminating herself with the sperm he willed her.
Classic quote: "We are, like, totally out of chocolate syrup."

Emory "E.L." Luddin (Bill Morey) Emory "E.L." Luddin (Bill Morey) is the often-comatose founder and former CEO of LGT and its parent company, Luddin Worldwide Inc. While he and his wife Lydia battled over control of the network, dot-com billionaire Dan Falco bought up 53% of LGT stock, leaving E.L. out in the cold.
Classic quote: "Make sure the handcuffs are padded."

Marty Hertz (Christopher Kennedy) Marty Hertz (Christopher Kennedy) is LGT's head of business affairs. His job is basically to make sure the network doesn't spend too much money. He entertains ideas of taking over the job of network president one day, even though the idea hasn't occurred to anyone else.
Classic quote: "Is this good or bad for the Jews?"

Margaret Hurley (Sheila Moore) Margaret Hurley (Sheila Moore) is the vice president of Standards and Practices at LGT. She does her best to prevent the network from offending the censors. A veteran of the TV business for over thirty years, she is by far the most experienced of Rob's staffers.
Classic quote: "You can't see nipples. Period."

Cary Malone (Kaj-Erik Eriksen) Cary Malone (Kaj-Erik Eriksen) is Rob and Cecile's 17-year-old son. He spends a lot of time on the computer, claiming to be doing school work but actually surfing the internet. His father got him a job as a production assistant on "The Sandra Cassandra Show" to give him something to do.
Classic quote: "Can I have her Range Rover?"

Debbie Austin (Patricia Drake) Debbie Austin (Patricia Drake) is Rob's personal assistant. Among her many responsibilities are getting Rob his coffee, giving rob the top 10 most important phone messages, and fending off some of the more colorful visitors who stop by the offices of LGT.
Classic quote: "I appreciate shape, too, but bottom line, it still has to be big enough."

Latitia Martinez (Klodyne Rodney) Latitia Martinez (Klodyne Rodney) spent a year at LGT as an intern from the Ohio School of Broadcasting, learning firsthand about what it takes to run a network. After her internship was completed, she returned to Ohio to pursue job opportunities in local broadcasting.
Classic quote: "NYPD Blue made me cry."

Casey Lennox (Sherri Saum) Casey Lennox (Sherri Saum) got her start at LGT, assisting Lori as director of comedy development. After her stint there, she had a brief run as head of programming at BET. Currently, she holds the position of VP of development at NBC. Casey appears to be a friendly, down-to-earth girl, but appearances can be deceiving.
Classic quote: "Hold my calls."

Herb Kolodny (Colin Cunningham) Herb Kolodny (Colin Cunningham) is an agent with the ProActive Agency. He can often be seen at fine restaurants, discussing business with his ProActive coworker, Brian Peske.
Classic quote:

Brian Peske (Ben Bass) Brian Peske (Ben Bass) works with Herb Kolodny at ProActive. Together, the two epitomize the word "beggar," lunching all over town and happily sharing gossip that is partially if not completely spurious.
Classic quote: "See if they'll take back paper."

Nigel Gibney (Justin Carroll) Nigel Gibney (Justin Carroll) came over to LGT from Channel 6 in London. He was hired to bring some new ideas in to the development department, which of course doesn't sit well with Lori at all. Little else is known of Nigel, other than the fact that he apparently has some connection to Casey Lennox.
Classic quote:

Kelly Kramer (Christina Hendricks) Kelly Kramer (Christina Hendricks) came to LGT as an intern after Latitia returned to Ohio. Kelly hails from the University of Southern California, and although she comes off as a neophyte, she is eager to get involved in the various goings-on at LGT.
Classic quote: "I'm supposed to fuck you."

Dan Falco (Beau Bridges) Dan Falco (Beau Bridges) acquired ownership of LGT after obtaining 53% of the company's stock during the power struggle between the Luddins. He is a Buddhist as well as a dot-com billionaire, and he seems to be a fairly personable man, even if he knows absolutely nothing about running a network.
Classic quote: "Fuck 'em."

Lydia "L.L." Luddin (Carol Kane) Lydia "L.L." Luddin (Carol Kane) is E.L.'s wife. When her husband went into a coma, she took over LGT. Much to Rob's chagrin, she involved herself in every aspect of the network while E.L. was out of commission. She had a grand plan to create a self-starring variety show, but she was thwarted when Dan Falco bought the network.
Classic quote: "You ain't seen the last of me, sweetheart."

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	Rob Malone (Brian Kerwin) is the president of LGT. Usually, he is the lone voice of sanity in the crazy world of television, keeping his cool as best he can while dealing with whoever happens to own the network at the moment. He also tries to divide his attention between his high-maintenance job and his higher-maintenance family. Classic Quote:

	Cecile Malone (Isabella Hofmann) is Rob's wife. She does her best to support her husband, despite her frustration at how much time he spends on his job. She has expressed a great desire to have another child, but she is currently considering moving across the country to New York for a job at the Museum of Modern Art. Classic quote: "You know, maybe it's just the non-alcoholic champagne talking, but right now I'd find you very attractive even if I weren't ovulating."

	Lori Volpone (Charlotte Ross) is vice president of development at LGT. Lori is easily the most scheming person at the network, and there is very little she won't do in hopes of advancing her career. When she isn't making a play to move up the ranks at LGT, she's busy making sure no one's out to get her. Classic quote: "Whatever happened to expensive gifts and fucking?"

	Brad Advail (William McNamara) is an agent. He represents such petulant stars as Yolanda Mercedes and Sandra Cassandra, and he frequently proves to be a thorn in Rob's side. His relationship with Lori is much more friendly, and involves phones, celebrities, food, and sex (usually all at one time). Classic quote: "Sometimes, it's good to be bad."

	Malcolm Laffley (Tuc Watkins) is LGT's vice president of talent. He worked as a closeted homosexual for many years. Then, he was placed at the center of a scandal when Sandra Cassandra falsely accused him of sexual harassment, and finally came out of the closet in an attempt to clear his name. Classic quote: "Even a vegetarian knows what to do with a hamburger!"

	Parker Meridian (Paul Provenza) was the hilarious but egomaniacal star of the hit LGT show "Parker's Pals." He was romantically involved with Rob's daughter, Audrey. Sadly, Parker was killed in a freak accident on a film set. Classic quote: "I'm not mocking you, I'm refuting you."

	Audrey Malone (Keegan Connor Tracy) is Rob and Cecile's slightly flaky 21-year-old daughter. She knew her father would be outraged by her relationship with Parker, but she couldn't help herself. She moved back in with her parents after Parker died and tried inseminating herself with the sperm he willed her. Classic quote: "We are, like, totally out of chocolate syrup."

	Emory "E.L." Luddin (Bill Morey) is the often-comatose founder and former CEO of LGT and its parent company, Luddin Worldwide Inc. While he and his wife Lydia battled over control of the network, dot-com billionaire Dan Falco bought up 53% of LGT stock, leaving E.L. out in the cold. Classic quote: "Make sure the handcuffs are padded."

	Marty Hertz (Christopher Kennedy) is LGT's head of business affairs. His job is basically to make sure the network doesn't spend too much money. He entertains ideas of taking over the job of network president one day, even though the idea hasn't occurred to anyone else. Classic quote: "Is this good or bad for the Jews?"

	Margaret Hurley (Sheila Moore) is the vice president of Standards and Practices at LGT. She does her best to prevent the network from offending the censors. A veteran of the TV business for over thirty years, she is by far the most experienced of Rob's staffers. Classic quote: "You can't see nipples. Period."

	Cary Malone (Kaj-Erik Eriksen) is Rob and Cecile's 17-year-old son. He spends a lot of time on the computer, claiming to be doing school work but actually surfing the internet. His father got him a job as a production assistant on "The Sandra Cassandra Show" to give him something to do. Classic quote: "Can I have her Range Rover?"

	Debbie Austin (Patricia Drake) is Rob's personal assistant. Among her many responsibilities are getting Rob his coffee, giving rob the top 10 most important phone messages, and fending off some of the more colorful visitors who stop by the offices of LGT. Classic quote: "I appreciate shape, too, but bottom line, it still has to be big enough."

	Latitia Martinez (Klodyne Rodney) spent a year at LGT as an intern from the Ohio School of Broadcasting, learning firsthand about what it takes to run a network. After her internship was completed, she returned to Ohio to pursue job opportunities in local broadcasting. Classic quote: "NYPD Blue made me cry."

	Casey Lennox (Sherri Saum) got her start at LGT, assisting Lori as director of comedy development. After her stint there, she had a brief run as head of programming at BET. Currently, she holds the position of VP of development at NBC. Casey appears to be a friendly, down-to-earth girl, but appearances can be deceiving. Classic quote: "Hold my calls."

	Herb Kolodny (Colin Cunningham) is an agent with the ProActive Agency. He can often be seen at fine restaurants, discussing business with his ProActive coworker, Brian Peske. Classic quote:

	Brian Peske (Ben Bass) works with Herb Kolodny at ProActive. Together, the two epitomize the word "beggar," lunching all over town and happily sharing gossip that is partially if not completely spurious. Classic quote: "See if they'll take back paper."

	Nigel Gibney (Justin Carroll) came over to LGT from Channel 6 in London. He was hired to bring some new ideas in to the development department, which of course doesn't sit well with Lori at all. Little else is known of Nigel, other than the fact that he apparently has some connection to Casey Lennox. Classic quote:

	Kelly Kramer (Christina Hendricks) came to LGT as an intern after Latitia returned to Ohio. Kelly hails from the University of Southern California, and although she comes off as a neophyte, she is eager to get involved in the various goings-on at LGT. Classic quote: "I'm supposed to fuck you."

	Dan Falco (Beau Bridges) acquired ownership of LGT after obtaining 53% of the company's stock during the power struggle between the Luddins. He is a Buddhist as well as a dot-com billionaire, and he seems to be a fairly personable man, even if he knows absolutely nothing about running a network. Classic quote: "Fuck 'em."

	Lydia "L.L." Luddin (Carol Kane) is E.L.'s wife. When her husband went into a coma, she took over LGT. Much to Rob's chagrin, she involved herself in every aspect of the network while E.L. was out of commission. She had a grand plan to create a self-starring variety show, but she was thwarted when Dan Falco bought the network. Classic quote: "You ain't seen the last of me, sweetheart."