The Canuck Temperature Conversion Guide:
+15° C
Vancouverites try to turn on the heat.
Manitobans plant gardens.
+10° C
Victorians shiver uncontrollably and dig out their longjohns.
Winnipeggers sunbathe.
+5° C
Italian and German cars won't start.
Winnipeggers drive with the windows down.
Zero° C
Distilled water freezes.
Winnipeg's water gets thicker.
-5° C
Torontonians wear coats, gloves & wool hats.
Manitobans throw on a T-shirt.
-15° C
Quebecers begin to evacuate the province.
Manitobans go swimming.
-20° C
Toronto landlords finally turn up the heat.
Manitobans have the last cookout before it gets cold.
-25° C
People in Vancouver cease to exist.
Manitobans lick flagpoles.
-30° C
Calgarians fly away to Mexico.
Manitobans throw on a light jacket.
-40° C
Hamilton disintegrates.
Manitobans rent some videos.
-50° C
Mt. St. Helen's across the border freezes.
Winnipeg Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door.
-60° C
Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic.
Manitoban Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.
-80° C
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Winnipeggers pull down their earflaps.
-100° C
Ethyl alcohol freezes.
Manitobans get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.
-200° C
Microbial life survives on dairy products.
Manitoba cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
-300° C
ALL atomic motion stops.
Manitobans start saying "Cold 'nuff for ya?"
-400° C
Hell freezes over.
The Winnipeg Blue Bombers win the Grey Cup
|
