Never Enough

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0 height="100%"><tr> <td valign="top" width=200 BGCOLOR="#003399" TEXT="#080000" background="03fc8c00erkjxk.jpg"> <div> <B>The eighth and final installment in the post"Posse Comitatus" Transitions series. </B></div> </td> <td valign="top" BGCOLOR="#0066CC" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#99CCFF" FACE="Arial" ><B>Smiles, Tears, & Happy Endings</B></FONT><FONT SIZE="1" COLOR="#FFFF99" FACE="Arial" > </FONT><FONT SIZE="1" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" > </FONT><FONT SIZE="1" COLOR="#CC0000" FACE="Arial" > </FONT>  |     <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Smiles, Tears, Happy Endings"><U>home</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id18.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Brandys Stories"><U>Brandy's Stories</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id24.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Other Side"><U>The Other Side</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id25.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Getaway"><U>Getaway</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id32.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Deserved Recognition"><U>Deserved Recognition</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id33.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The End of These Days"><U>The End of These Days</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id34.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Moving On"><U>Moving On</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id35.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Lessons Learned Shared"><U>Lessons- Learned & Shared</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id43.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="So, I Had This Dream..."><U>So, I Had This Dream...</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id214.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Perfect Plan"><U>The Perfect Plan</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id215.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Incredibly Campy Road Trip From Hell"><U>The Incredibly Campy Road Trip From Hell</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id216.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="A Whole New Story"><U>A Whole New Story</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id217.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="What Are Friends For? "><U>What Are Friends For? </U></A>   |   <A HREF="id218.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Walking The Wire"><U>Walking The Wire</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id219.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Foreshadowing, Omens Evidence of Other "><U>Foreshadowing, Omens & Evidence of Other Things in the Wind</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id222.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Up Against the Wall"><U>Up Against the Wall</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id223.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Sum Of My Fears"><U>The Sum Of My Fears</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id220.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Our Dance"><U>Our Dance</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id221.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Shes Got a Way"><U>She's Got a Way</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id52.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Take My Hand"><U>Take My Hand</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id53.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="May Perspective"><U>May Perspective</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id56.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="How Bad Can It Get"><U>How Bad Can It Get</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id181.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Small Mistakes"><U>Small Mistakes</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id182.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Nightcaps"><U>Nightcaps</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id183.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Crazy Boys"><U>Crazy Boys</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id184.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="A Need For Comfort"><U>A Need For Comfort</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id81.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Looking Back"><U>Looking Back</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id109.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Nature of Family"><U>The Nature of Family</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id210.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Wistful Thoughts On A Snowy Night"><U>Wistful Thoughts On A Snowy Night</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id212.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="A Good Brother/Son/Friend"><U>A Good Brother/Son/Friend</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id111.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="When All Else Fails"><U>When All Else Fails</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id187.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Someone Like You"><U>Someone Like You</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id213.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="A Wish For My Friend"><U>A Wish For My Friend</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id188.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Unspoken"><U>Unspoken</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id189.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="A Brief Glimpse"><U>A Brief Glimpse</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id190.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Sanctuary"><U>Sanctuary</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id191.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Contemplation"><U>Contemplation</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id192.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Dirty Work"><U>Dirty Work</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id193.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Precious Moments"><U>Precious Moments</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id194.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Almost Normal"><U>Almost Normal</U></A>   |   <B>Never Enough</B>   |   <A HREF="id112.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The World According To Mark..."><U>The World According To Mark...</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id135.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Heart Cards, Flowers Sweet Stuff"><U>Heart Cards, Flowers & Sweet Stuff</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id185.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Amazed"><U>Amazed</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id199.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Last Call of the Night"><U>Last Call of the Night</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id206.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Fortuitous Visitor"><U>The Fortuitous Visitor</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id136.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Loose Ends"><U>Loose Ends</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id225.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="TeaSympathy Under the Mistletoe"><U>Tea&Sympathy Under the Mistletoe</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id229.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Not So Much Looking Good As Being Good"><U>Not So Much Looking Good As Being Good</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id230.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Moment of Truth"><U>The Moment of Truth</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id231.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Control Choices"><U>Control & Choices</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id36.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Anniversaries AdoAnnie"><U>Anniversaries & Ado-Annie</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id37.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The NonOccasion Occasion"><U>The Non-Occasion Occasion</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id38.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Interlude"><U>Interlude</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id39.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Misdirection Understatement"><U>Misdirection & Understatement</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id51.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Meeting, Damn Depositions Rules"><U>Meeting, Damn Depositions & Rules</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id54.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Realizations Revelations"><U>Realizations &Revelations</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id207.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="A Liberating Quality"><U>A Liberating Quality</U></A></div> <div> Never Enough</div> <div> *************************************************************************************</div> <div> Samantha: I’m going to ask you a question, and it’s really important- so pay attention. When two people really love each other, but they just can’t seem to get it together, when is enough enough?</div> <div> Jerry: Never.</div> <div>   From the movie, "The Mexican" </div> <div> ******************************</div> <bR> <bR> <div> Never Enough</div> <div> By Brandy</div> <bR> <bR> <div> It was the first time they had all been out together since the New York trip a month ago. More importantly, it was the first time CJ had looked like she was in a mood to cut loose with her friends/co-workers. She looked good tonight- more relaxed and at ease with everyone than she had since Simon had been killed. They sat gathered around their usual table at O’Malley’s and Donna listened to CJ tease Sam, Toby and Josh. As she watched that easy grin light up CJ’s face, Donna was inwardly cheering. It was far easier to keep an optimistic attitude about life when CJ was happy. </div> <div>   Donna looked from CJ to Sam and Toby, who were discussing  the upcoming campaign swing through the Midwest. Sam had just commented that he was looking forward to the trip as a way of unleashing his creative juices. </div> <div>   " You think you could unleash your sadly underutilized grammar skills along with those juices, Sam?" Toby asked with a pointed look at his deputy.</div> <div>   " And deprive you of the joy you take in dismantling and reconstructing every word I write? Never!" Sam replied with a good-natured grin. </div> <div>   The others at the table laughed at the familiar consistency of their running joke. Neither of them would ever change, and they both liked it that way. </div> <div>   Donna noticed that the sound of CJ’s laughter mixed in with the others had a particular effect on Toby.  He was smiling in that covert way he had as he watched CJ relax and enjoy herself for the first time in far too long. Seeing her that way allowed Toby to relax a little himself. Donna knew how carefully Toby had been watching over CJ these last weeks. She understood how hard it was to watch someone you love suffer and not be able to do anything to relieve their pain, and she was glad for both of them that the pain was lessening. </div> <div>   It was a good feeling being together like they were. It hadn’t happened a lot in the last several months. There had been the investigations, depositions, hearings, a Congressional censure, threats, power-hungry lobbyist girlfriends… ‘Oh, wait’, Donna thought, ‘that last part was kind of snippy…’ Still, there hadn’t been much chance for them all to have a relaxing evening together in far too long , and she couldn’t help but reflect on how things had changed in the last month. It was almost as if they had reached a crossroads of sorts- only they weren’t at the fork- they had already begun down the road they were destined to travel. This road was much the same as the one they had started down together a little more than four years ago, but there were differences. This road was a little smoother, a little more well-lit, and the signs were a bit more visible. </div> <div>   As this was going through her mind, she turned to Josh. Things had changed there too. Changed again- but this time it was a good kind of change. He was more relaxed now too. Well, maybe relaxed wasn’t exactly the right word. Josh had too much natural energy to ever look really relaxed- unless he was sleeping. Perhaps a better word would be energized. Hopeful. Filled with a renewed purpose. That quick tongue, shrewd eyes, and easy smile that could say so many things at once, were all working in concert again. To use a metaphor that she was sure Josh would love- he had his swing back. </div> <div>   She was still watching him, still a little lost in her thoughts, when Josh’s eyes met hers as he was taking a swig of his beer. Josh noticed the bemused expression on her face and looking at the beer in his hand said, " You’re not already monitoring my alcohol intake, are you? I mean, come on, Donna- the night’s still early." </div> <div>   She noticed that the complaint was softened with a grin. He was teasing her as usual. </div> <div>   " Force of habit", she replied with a cheeky grin of her own.</div> <div>   " You know, one of these days , you’ll be the one getting toasted, and show up at my apartment acting silly and yelling at my cats. Then I can tease you unmercifully until the end of time."</div> <div>   " That won’t happen", Donna replied with a look of absolute confidence.</div> <div>   " Why not?" </div> <div>   " Well, for one thing- you don’t have any cats…" </div> <div>   " I could get one, if it would make you feel more at home", he offered with a grin.</div> <div>   " That’s okay, Josh. I mean, cats are pretty self-sufficient, but they do have needs- like food and water. Not to mention the fact that you have an irrational dislike of them." </div> <div>   " It’s not irrational- I just don’t like they way they look at me. They’re always walking around like they’re so superior and arrogant. Like they own the world", Josh pointed out, defending his supposedly ‘irrational’ attitude. </div> <div>   Donna rolled her eyes at that and said with exaggerated sarcasm, " Hello, Pot- the kettle is talking about you again." </div> <div>   " You crack me up, Donna. Really you do", Josh quipped, matching her sarcasm.</div> <div>   " Face it, Josh- she got you with that one", Sam chimed in, laughing at Josh’s expense.</div> <div>   " Thanks Sam, old buddy. It feels good to be wrapped in the warm embrace of your friendship too", Josh  groused, a grudging smile turning the corners of his mouth. They were all laughing now- CJ and Toby included. </div> <div>   " Sorry, man - just calling it like I see it", Sam added with a shrug. </div> <div>   " Fine- go ahead and mock a man for being self-assured and confident." </div> <div>   " Oh- is that what it is, mi amore’?" CJ asked, her voice brimming with laughter and her eyes sparkling with amusement. " I’m glad you cleared that up for us."</div> <div>  With a resigned and somewhat dramatic sigh, Josh threw his hands up and looked at Donna, " See that you started." </div> <div>   Donna arched a brow at that and laughingly said, " I started nothing. Your miseries are of your own making." </div> <div>   " You’re a heartless creature, you know that , right?" Josh asked with a teasing smile. </div> <div>   " Yes, but that’s what you love about me", Donna replied airily. </div> <div>   " Very true. Come on, let’s go get another round. The bartender’s taking forever", Josh said, reaching for her hand. </div> <bR> <div>   When Donna and Josh were gone, Sam, Toby, and CJ shared a knowing look. Sam and Toby looked a little worried, but CJ had a tender smile on her face as she looked over at the pair standing at the bar. Josh  had his hand on Donna’s shoulder and was laughing at something she said. He leaned over and whispered something in her ear just as she was grabbing the tray with their drinks. In response she elbowed him in the ribs and laughed at his surprised expression. CJ looked away from the pair and saw the expression on Toby’s face. </div> <div>   " Toby-", CJ said, getting his attention.</div> <div>   " Yeah?"</div> <div>   " Don’t worry about it."</div> <div>   " Don’t worry about it? CJ, we’re in the middle of-"</div> <div>   " I know what we’re in the middle of, and I’m telling you not to worry about it." </div> <div>   Toby didn’t say anything for a moment, his eyes never leaving CJ. There was something very calm and sure about the expression on her face, as if she was knew without a shadow of a doubt  that she was right. Finally, with an almost imperceptible nod he said, "Okay." </div> <bR> <div>   The five of them spent the rest of the evening laughing and joking, and later when the band came out to do their first set, they even got in a little dancing. When they finally decided to call it a night, no one was surprised when Josh  and Donna decided to share a cab. Of course, none of them commented on the fact that they lived in totally opposite directions, and it would have made much more sense for her and CJ to share a cab. Instead , CJ, Toby, and Sam watched  as Josh and Donna piled into their cab, still laughing and joking with each other. After a moment, Sam turned to CJ and asked, " You’re sure there’s not going to be any problems?"</div> <div>   " Yeah, Sam , I’m sure." </div> <div>   " But- how can you be totally sure that-" </div> <div>   " Sam, was tonight the first time you noticed?" CJ asked, a trace of exasperation in her voice. </div> <div>   " Well, I used to think they were- but then …yeah, tonight was the first time I noticed any kind of undercurrent in a really long time." </div> <div>   " Okay, well things have been a different for a couple of weeks now." </div> <div>   " Really?" Sam asked, clearly surprised. </div> <div>   " Really. So, when I say I’m sure , I’m really sure. They’re being very discreet."</div> <div>   " Good. I’m glad for them", Sam replied with a smile.</div> <div>   " Me too", CJ said, unable to keep the wistful note out of her voice. </div> <bR> <div>   Josh leaned against Donna as the cab made it’s way to her apartment. He couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed with happiness at that moment. They had all been able to enjoy each other in a way that had missing for far too long. It was like the best of the old times and the best of the  new all wrapped into one. He just wished the others could know exactly why he was as happy and content as he was right now- the most important reason, that is. Well, CJ knew, but CJ was different. CJ was his first call, and CJ was their greatest supporter. </div> <div>   " Hey, you think they suspect anything?" </div> <div>   " Who? Toby and Sam?" </div> <div>   " Yeah." </div> <div>   " I don’t know. Maybe- maybe not. It’s hard to tell- especially with Toby. Are you worried about it?" Donna asked, concern creasing her brow. </div> <div>   " No, not really. They probably figure that regardless of how I may feel, you’ve probably given up on me by now anyway." </div> <div>   " Well, you can thank my Grandma Moss for me not doing exactly that." </div> <div>   " Yeah- you said that before. What exactly does that mean?" </div> <div>   " Well, my father’s parents had an extremely long and interesting courtship. My grandfather was a bit of a daredevil and a wanderer in his youth. My grandmother always loved him, but she got discouraged that he would ever settle down long enough to build a life with her. One day she was telling me the story of their courtship and I asked her what finally made the difference." </div> <div>   " What did she tell you?" </div> <div>   " She said that my grandfather had told her he loved her more than life, but he couldn’t understand what he had done to deserve her devotion. At first she didn’t know what to say, then she asked him a question of her own. She said ,  ‘If two people truly love each other, but they just can’t seem to get together, when is ‘enough’ enough?’  For a long time he didn’t say anything, he just looked at her, and she could see all the love he felt for her in his eyes, and his realization of just how much she loved him. Finally he said ‘Never’. They were married a month later." </div> <div>   " So she wore the poor guy down, huh? Showed him she was basically impervious to his denial of the inevitable, is that it?" Josh observed with a smirk.</div> <div>   Donna rolled her eyes, and replied in a voice heavily laced with sarcasm, " Yes, Mr. Romance, that’s the essential lesson of my story." </div> <div>   " Donna?" Josh said, flashing a dimpled grin at her.</div> <div>   " Yes, Josh?" </div> <div>   " I’m glad you’re impervious", he said, giving her a gentle kiss.</div> <div>   Never taking her eyes from his, Donna smiled and said, " Me too, Josh. Me too."  </div> <div>   </div> <bR> <div>   </div> <div>   </div> <div>   The End</div> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>