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Cat Pill
10 Steps to Giving Your Cat a Pill
1. Sit on sofa. Pick up cat and cradle her in the crook of
your elbow as though you were going to give a bottle to
a baby. Talk softly to her.
2. With right hand, stroke cat's throat until she opens her
mouth (be patient). Drop pill into mouth. Let go of cat,
noticing the direction she runs.
3. Pick the pill up off the floor and go get the cat. Sit
on floor in kitchen, wrap arm around cat as before, drop
pill in mouth. Let go of cat, noticing the direction she
runs.
4. Scoot across floor to pick up pill, and go find the cat.
Bring her back into the kitchen. Hold cat as before, but
hold down her front paws with forearm. Drop pill into mouth.
5. Pry claws from her back legs out of your arm. Go get the cat,
pick up the half-dissolved pill from floor and drop it into
garbage can.
6. Get new pill from bottle. Go into bathroom and get a fluffy
towel. Stay in the bathroom with the cat, and close the door.
7. Sit on bathroom floor, wrap towel around kitty, leaving only
her head exposed. Cradle kitty in the crook of your arm, and
pick up pill off of counter.
8. Retrieve cat from top of shower door (you didn't know that
cats can jump 5 feet straight up in the air, did you?), and
wrap towel around her a little tighter, making sure her paws
can't come out this time. With fingers at either side of her
jaw, pry it open and pop pill into mouth. Quickly close mouth
(hers, not yours).
9. Sit on floor with cat in your lap, stroking her under the
chin and talking gently to her for at least a half hour, while
the pill dissolves.
10. Unwrap towel, open bathroom door. Wash off scratches in
warm soapy water, comb your hair, and go find something to
occupy your time for the next 7-1/2 hours, then repeat.
(catnips newsletter)
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