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_________________________________________________________________
Application
Application for Permission to Date My Daughter
This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement job history, lineage,
and current medical report from your doctor.
1. NAME _______________________________
DATE OF BIRTH ________________
2. HEIGHT ____________________ WEIGHT __________
I.Q _______ G.P.A.______
3. SOCIAL SECURITY # _____________
DRIVERS LICENSE # __________________
4. BOY SCOUT RANK_________________________
5. HOME ADDRESS _________________________________
CITY/STATE _____________________ ZIP _________
6. Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent?___________
If No., EXPLAIN ____________________________________
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
7. Number of years your parents have been married ______
8. Do you own a van? ______ A truck with oversized tires? ________
Do you have an earring, nose ring, or belly button ring? __________
or a tattoo_________________
(If "yes" to any of #8, discontinue application and leave premises )
9. In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
10. In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you? ___________________________________________
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
11. In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE" mean to you? ______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
12. Church you attend _____________
How often do you attend _______________________
13. When would be the best time to interview your father, mother and
priest/rabbi/minister? __________
14. Answer by filling in the blank: please answer freely.
ALL answers are confidential
(That means I won't tell anyone-ever-I promise.)
a) If I were shot the last place on my body I would want wounded is
__________ because ________________________________
b) If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my
__________ because ______________________________
c) A woman's place is in the ____________________
d) The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is
____________________________________________________
e) When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her is her
__________________because___________________________
( NOTE: If your answer begins with "T" or "A", discontinue. )
> Leave premises keeping your head low and running <
15. What do you want to be IF you grow up?
__________________________________
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED
ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE
BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY
OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE
AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION,
CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT
POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.
____________________________ Signature ( That means your name, moron)
Thank you for your interest Please allow four to six years for processing.
You will be notified in writing you are approved.
Please do not try to call or write
(since you probably can't and it would cause you injury.)
If your application is rejected, you will be notified by
two gentlemen wearing white ties and carrying violin cases.
(You might want to watch your back)
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