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1990s | 2000 | 2001 | 2002 | 2003 | current
Her buttons are strangely frightening, and yet ... strangely frightening.
-Daniel, 01/19/2004
No! That is not brain-scrubbing! I am not fooled!
-Batya, 01/19/2004
This is the wrong color for inscrutable, isn't it.
-Batya, 01/22/2004
On a still geekier note, Niven sure loves him some interdental fricatives.
-Ian (Umlaut), 01/28/2004
One in a million means there are eight of you in New York City.
-Ian on LJ, 01/29/2004
I mean, we'd all be middle-aged now, if we were living in the ... Middle Ages.
-Batya, 01/31/2004
I was with you right up until the radioactive hamsters.
-Batya on LJ, 02/03/2004
You two go together like peanuts and...other peanuts.
-Daniel on AIM, 02/05/2004
Daniel: If I wore the Bush-Cheney yarmulke to a con, would I be lynched by a rampaging mob of leftist radicals?
Batya: ...Doubtful.
Daniel: Darn. And here I was so hoping.
-AIM, 02/05/2004
It's tyrannical, but in a really, really halfassed way, as if Mussolini was having an off day and just didn't care anymore.
-SlowMotionWalter on irc, 02/18/2004
Batya: Shared pain is halved. Shared joy is doubled. Shared evil...
Missy: ...increases exponentially in a geometric progression not definable by modern mathematics.
-02/29/2004
You can't leave now. Not while she's talking about Uncle Moishy and the Mitzvah Men. It would be rude.
-Mary Bertke, 03/30/2004
Yes, it's a lot like lunch, except for the food.
-Meredith, 03/31/2004
Meredith: You're not kosher, are you?
Batya: Does she look like she has split hooves?
Meredith: ...You don't keep kosher, do you?
Mary: No.
Meredith: Great. Would you like to join me in a Krispy Kreme and beating the shit out of Batya?
Batya: ...this is so sudden.
-03/31/2004
Ian (Umlaut): So, when do I get to start trying to turn this into a conversation about Angel?
Batya: Uh ... *checks watch* ...now.
Ian: Ah, I'm right on time then.
-AIM, 05/01/2004
Batya: Oh, but Constance would make a wonderful supervillain!
Meredith: Yes, I know, but she's awfully busy.
Batya: I don't mind sharing the death, as long as I get some.
Meredith: Well, there is something to be said for the most complicated solution to any problem.
Batya: Yes. Usually, 'let's not.'
-phone conversation, 05/05/2004
You know, it's amazing that laser guns ever manage to work properly when the batteries are bipolar and the trigger is depressed.
-Daniel in AIM, 05/06/2004
Go lie down and have some camomile tea, I'll be done swearing in a minute.
-Meredith, 05/11/2004
...and Jonathan was all *martyr* and Clark was all *martyr* and Jor-El was all "okay! twofer!" and Lionel was all "do me, baby" and Chloe was all *die* and Lex was all *die* and I was all "buh?"
-Eli ("Greek" Toomey) discussing the Smallville season finale on AIM, 05/19/2004
I am large; I contain Meredith.
-Batya, 05/22/2004
This is Maimonedes. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
-Jon, 05/22/2004
We could put it on a t-shirt! And then we could put that t-shirt on another t-shirt, and then mail that t-shirt to ourselves! And when it arrived, no one would get it but us!
-Alex and Batya, 05/24/2004
Well, the "Evil" bit is tongue-in-cheek, at least when I say it. I'm using it as a euphemism for "Republican."
-Daniel in AIM, 06/05/2004
=====
Conterpoint IV, 06/11-06/13/2003
Jon: Oh, I get it. It's a matrilineal skyscraper.
Merav, in closet: There's a whole other room in here.
Batya: Really?
Merav: No.
Jordan: Welcome to Hotel Narnia.
Merav: This is my logistical brain.
Alex: This is your logistical brain on drugs.
Batya: Oh, Baltimore were paradise enow.
Eloise: But this is America. We schwa every unstressed vowel.
Merav: No, I'm out of yarn in a way that means I still have yarn.
=====
Me big strong manly girl.
Yeah, feed into my Amazon complex, why don't you. It's a good thing I'm only five foot six.
-Batya and Liz, 07/04/2004
Peace.
Love.
War.
Exactly.
-Eytan and Gabe, 07/05/2004
=====
Brunchmeet in the City, 07/11/2004
In attendance: Miri, Miriam, Dov, Kassandra, Batya, Yisroel, Firelily (Liz), Daybreaker, Slow Motion Walter
Batya: Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its snipe sheet!
Miri: (to Miriam) Why do you look so concerned?
Dov: You just mentioned that you've joined a basket-weaving cult.
Batya: Your religion iz pastede on yay.
Batya: We're early. Is that legal?
Batya: You have just cut the purse of Lord Voldemort. The remainder of your life will be short, but very interesting.
Dov: Press one now.
Batya: All I've eaten today is a nectarine.
Firelily: You've eaten a microwave?
Kassandra: I am not for burning!
Firelily: Ooh, a measuring tape! We could have all sorts of fun measuring things!
Batya: Exogamy makes more sense than incest, in this particular context. That's all I'm saying.
Batya: Why do you look all sad?
Yisroel: (sings) Nobody knows the trouble I've seen.
Batya: Nobody cares the troubles you've seen.
Yisroel: Exactly!
Firelily: I don't have eight hands, you know.
Slow Motion Walter: You should work on that.
Kassandra: Squid!
Miri: God's just fucking with the probabilities.
Firelily: There is a video camera. If you want to kill someone, you should do it here.
Yisroel: I take it that they didn't find the elevators yet.
Firelily: That is the elevator.
Yisroel: I was talking about me.
Police Officer: Who is in charge here?
Admiring the lions on the library steps...
Batya: There's the bear.
Miriam: No, that's a lion.
Batya: No, in the legend. "But above all things truth beareth away the victory."
Miriam: (turns to Dov) What do you have to do with all this?
Dov: Do you want the truth?
Miriam: (to Dov) No, you can't be a Ringwraith. Ringwraiths and hobbits are inherently incompatible.
Yisroel: In our modern, enlightened liberal society, we no longer have laws against miscegenation. What two mythological creatures do in the privacy of their own dungeon is their own business.
Batya: Our leader is Lore Fitzgerald Sjoberg. He is not here.
Yisroel: Or we could give you the address of a gay guy in Australia.
Batya: Djeli is our temporal leader. Lore is our spiritual leader.
Batya: We avoided being harassed by cops here. This is a plus.
Yisroel: To be fair, we were the ones harassing the police.
Slow Motion Walter: Scary Spice is in "Rent."
Miriam: You mean Tim Curry.
Batya: Whah?
Firelily: Tim Curry in "Rent"?
Batya: Well, curry is a scary spice.
Firelily: Did you meet for the purposes of sex?
Slow Motion Walter: No, we met for the purposes of taking pictures of small children.
Firelily: Then the sex.
Firelily: You're selling your personality.
Batya: I'm not selling anything. Do you see anyone paying me?
Firelily: We're paying you in LOVE.
Batya: Love is not legal tender in this country!
Dov: We should change that.
Firelily: Who needs medical school? We've got Frappucinos!
Kassandra: A kick-line of tiny Elvises.
Dov: It burns like shinies!
Slow Motion Walter: I have my hand in his ass, don't I.
Yisroel: You love her more than me!
Batya: Yes, I do.
Yisroel: You're not my auntie anymore. Auntie Dov, will you buy me some candy?
Batya: Now, if you dropped a penny from that height in a vacuum...
daybreaker: Do you mean like an upright Hoover or a Dustbuster?
(pause, disgusted reactions)
daybreaker: I'm not proud of that, either.
Kassandra: Chocolate Silmaril! Oh, good God!
Slow Motion Walter: Does anyone want chocolate gummi bears?
Dov: Did you say "Tropic of Beavers?"
Dov: Your awake iz pastede on yay, right?
Miriam: So, where are you guys going?
Firelily: We're going to a Zagat-rated crackhouse.
=====
Typical. Men. They have their fun and then they just drift off into an accordion solo.
Yeah, that's happened to me.
Oh no, really?
No. But it was fun watching your face when I said it.
-Batya and Merav, 07/12/2004
I don't want to marry you! You're made of meat! Ew!
-Batya, 08/01/2004
Daniel: What in God's name are groats?
Talia: They sound like small animals.
Talia: Hunted on the arctic tundra for their luxurious coats.
Talia: (Because, they're groats. ...so, everyone wants a groat coat.)
Daniel: I'm thinking they're particularly murky waters surrounding a castle.
Talia: Maybe they're furry animals that live in moats.
Daniel: Because we all know that boats can float in a groat or a moat.
Talia: No, no, no-- you have to get the groat out of the moat to get its coat.
Batya: Groats? Are also known as kasha.
Batya: Surely you've encountered kasha before?
Talia: --sure, ruin our fun with buckwheat.
Daniel: Kasha? Oh, yeah, she's a good friend of mine, we went to high school together...
Talia: *sulks*
Batya: *swats you both* Now STOP that.
Daniel: Well, if the groats in the moats ate too many goats, you'd think that the coats would have bloats and'd be worth less than motes.
Daniel: Just thought I should leave you with these notes.
-AIM conversation, 08/08/2004
A Kyoto roll? That's a list of nations that care about the environment.
-Daniel, 08/09/2004
Yes, it took a Middle Eastern landmass to bring us together.
-Talia, 08/09/2004
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