Okay, let's see here.....I'm writing this because if I don't, my dear 
friend Kitty (Official assistant to the Official Secretary to His Royal 
Tightness) would do horrible things to me, on purpose. Got one suggestion 
for you Kit, get a shorter title! Arrg. Anyway, this all started as a piece 
of insanity that was never supposed to see the light of day....but Kitty 
twisted my arm. Blame it all on her.

Bamfy


Working Girl Blues 1/?


"Catch, move over!" If only I'd remembered his annoying habit of taking up 
the whole bed *before* I'd married him. He was apparently still fast 
asleep, so I attempted to shove him over a little. Oops. Too hard. He 
crashed to the floor with a 'thud' and I cringed. Fortunately, he only 
mumbled something unintelligible and promptly fell back to sleep. I sighed 
and rolled over in an attempt to go back to sleep myself. (As a chronic 
insomniac, the few hours I manage to get a night are understandably 
precious)
	The next time I awoke, it was not due to an obnoxious bed-hog. 
Rather, someone was crashing around in the dark and cursing in a prolific 
manner. Through a sleepy haze, I vaguely recognized the voice associated 
with the profanity, but before I could connect it with the appropriate face 
and name, a lamp clicked on, momentarily blinding me. I blinked several 
times and the blurry form began to focus. "Jareth!" I hissed. "What the 
hell are you doing here? It's three in the morning!"

"Is it?"

"Yes."

"Sorry." He shrugged in a manner that suggested he didn't give a rat's ass 
what time it was.

"So..."

"So what?"

"What are you doing in my bedroom at three in the morning?!" I was 
definitely *not* in the best of moods.

Jareth ignored my outburst and said calmly "I here you're currently 
unemployed."

"Currently-yeah. I haven't had a job since that summer I spent picking 
strawberries for my uncle. That was a job to forget. You try getting up at 
four am  and then spending the next five hours picking that stupid fruit 
and watching out for snakes."  I swung my legs over the side of the bed, 
and pulled my robe of a near-by chair.

"Less than pleasant." He agreed. "Anyway..."
	At this point, Catch (who had been awakened by my yelling) popped 
his head up from the other side of the bed. "What in the name of Poseidon's 
pitchfork is *he*  doing here?"

"Damned if I know. He just showed up and started ranting about my 
employment status."

"So you didn't invite him?"

"No."

"And he's bothering you?" I recognized that sly grin and hopeful tone.

"Catch, I know what you're thinking, and no, you can't eat him. Think about 
it. Do you really want a bunch of rabid listians  to come to our door in a 
torch bearing mob?"

"Guess not." Poor dear looked terribly disappointed.

"I'll make it up to you later." I promised.

Jareth looked from me to Catch, who was in his human form. (He chose the 
night option because apparently, he likes to go clubbing) "More than I 
wanted to know." Jareth shuttered. (Who would have guessed J was such a 
prude!)

I glanced over at Catch, who was now sitting on the edge of the bed. I 
sighed wearily. "Jareth, get out of here. Whatever it was you wanted to bug 
me about, I'm sure it can wait until it's light out. Come back in say- 
three hours, and we'll talk.

"All right." He did seem to be in a hurry to leave all of the sudden. Might 
have had something to do with the way Catch was grinning at him.

----

The smoke alarm was going off when Jareth returned exactly three hours 
later. He coughed and waved his hand around in a vain attempt to clear away 
the smoke. "What happened?"

I ignored him as I attempted to pry the a lump of smoldering charcoal out 
of the toaster oven. "So much for my bagel." I wrinkled my nose in disgust 
and dropped the bagel into the garbage. 

"Ahem."

"Oh, I'm sorry." I said sarcastically. "I though preventing the house from 
burning down took precedent over scraping and bowing to you."

"I'll overlook it this time." He smirked.

"Whatever." I reached into the cabinet and pulled out a bag of corn chips. 
"Want one?"

"Healthy breakfast."

I crunched one of the chips in my hand and dropped the pieces on the 
counter. "Sure. Corn flakes, see?"

He sighed. "Can we get down to business?"

"We could, assuming I knew what it was. Which I don't."

Jareth looked around the house cautiously. "Your demon isn't here is he?"

"Husband." I corrected. "No, he went to find some breakfast. He doesn't 
like my cooking."

"Not surprising."

"Actually it is. He's not very picky, if you know what I mean. So, what is 
this all about? It's not that I don't appreciate you stopping by, but this 
is getting a little weird, even for me."

Jareth walked over to the kitchen table and sat down. "I need a secretary."

"Place a wanted add."

"No, I mean, I wanted *you* to take the job."

"Why me?"

"Because I need someone who won't go postal on me after the first day."

"Okay........"   I sat down across from him. "And what made you come to the 
decision that you needed a secretary?"

"It's not easy running a kingdom. Besides, with so many girls wishing 
themselves away for a chance to meet me...I just can't keep up."


I scowled. "Oh, poor baby."

"You could show a *little* sympathy, you know."

"I'm still a little peeved at you."

"At least you stopped sending the hate mail. Exploding glitter bombs- 
really, how juvenile."

"Be glad I didn't use any of Catch's suggestions." I grinned. "So you want 
me to be- what? Traffic control?"

"No no. Just take appointments, type some things for me...I hear you're 
quite the computer wizz."

"I can do some stuff." I shrugged. "I mean I can set up spread sheets and 
graphs and stuff if I have the right software."

"Wonderful. I knew you'd be a good choice."

"Wait a minute! I didn't say I'd do it yet. What's the pay? The hours?"

 "Don't worry about the money. We'll take care of that later. And I'll only 
need you for a few hours a day. That's not too much to ask is it?"

"I don't know....working for you might put a cramp on my domestic bliss."

"You'd rather work at a fast food restaurant?"

"Good point. Okay, I'll do it."

"Great. Come on then."

"Now? I can't leave now! I have to talk to Catch."

"Can't you just leave him a note? I'm sure he'll understand."

"No can do. Firstly, he probably *wouldn't* understand, and he'd try to 
kill you. Second, he can't read."

"He can't?"

"Hell isn't exactly known for it's hooked on phonics program, okay? I'm 
trying to teach him, but Sesame Street scares him. Tell you what. I'll wait 
for him to come back, and after we've talked, I drop by the castle. Will 
that be okay?"

"Fine." With a burst of glitter he vanished from the kitchen.