Cassy III: FEAR
by Rhondda Lake

Cassandra Troy sighed and shifted her purse on her shoulder.
The bank was crowded. It looked like she was not the only one who
rushed to cash their check during Friday lunch break.

With a resigned look she faced the file of people before her and 
marched in, toying with the end of her long braid. She did not 
notice the van out front, or the five men filing out of the vehicle 
wearing ski masks and carrying machine guns. Not until the 
screaming began.

The first scream alerted her, but as she was closest to the
door she was unfortunate enough to be grabbed by an arm around
the neck and something cold and hard was shoved against her
temple as a series of explosions rang through the building. No,
not explosions... gunfire. People panicked and most dropped to
the floor.

"Nobody moves and we might let you live. Now, be good little
boys and girls while we conduct our own little transaction." The
voice was right in Cassy's ear. Horror permeated her body forcing 
her knees to buckle.  Another masked thief had a eight year old boy
by the shoulder with an uzi pressed to the base of his skull.

The fear around her pounded against her carefully maintained 
protections. Muffled, it was still a pounding cacophony she found
impossible to ignore. 

Unable to just stand there and be the helpless victim she opted to 
try to gain some perspective from the armed men. Perhaps she could
sense what they would respond to. If she was lucky they only wanted 
the money and would go away when they had it. If not perhaps she
could talk them down, try to emanate soothing calm. It was better
than doing nothing.

Cassandra lowered the first two layers of her shields
steeling herself against the onslaught of terror pressing in on her
from all sides eminating from her fellow bank patrons. Trying, 
instead,  to focus on the man behind her through the link of his 
physical touch. 

The soul shaking fear hit her like a physical blow. She had to struggle not
to bend over from the impact. A blanket of blubbering, incoherent madness 
smothered her. She gritted her teeth and repeated her name within her mind. 
A mantra to remind her who she was. That what she felt was not her own 
emotions. 

Then she pressed her mind at the emotions of the man grasping her.

He was excited, even aroused, violence emanated from him. He craved
the orgasmic release that came only from carnage. She felt this sexual lust
for blood and death wash over her, and she fought to retain herself, to 
escape his madness. 

She fled back to her own mind and wrapped herself in the safe cocoon 
of  her mental walls. She felt bile burn her throat and her flesh felt covered 
in slime. For a moment she had been there, with him. She had felt the need 
for blood and death, craved the stink of it, just as much as he did.

It wasn't only the money... she had heard on CNN about a rash of cross 
country bank robberies in large cities. The banks cleaned out in less then
three minutes, and everyone inside slaughtered, the thieves
always took the surveillance tapes. 

These were the people. The man behind her was anticipating violence, 
craving it. 

Everyone in this bank was going to die.

*************************************

Scully finished the expense report she was working on. The
steady clicking of her computer keys ended as the low hum of the
printer started. She looked across the desk to see her partner
frowning as he viewed some grim crime scene photos. 

He was working on a series of profiles for a group of psychotic bank
robbers. They seemed to enjoy killing everyone in the banks they
hit as much as stealing the money. It wasn't an X-File, wasn't
even their case.

This was the second case they were currently working on with Agent
Jenkins, anyway. Throwing in one more profile wasn't going to overstrain
anything but Mulder's sanity. At least the bank murders didn't involve 
children exclusively, as the other, unsolved, case did.

Scully started at the knock at the door and turned as Jenkins walked in. He
looked happy for the first time in weeks.

"Mulder, sorry to have wasted your time... but we got them."

Mulder looked up with a frown. "Caught them how? Where?"

"Just fifteen minutes ago at the Third National right here
in DC. They are being processed but their lawyers are insisting they be
remanded into psychiatric custody. I'd say they were trying to
cop a plea... but the way they were caught... I'll tell ya
Mulder... you should look into this one. They all collapsed in
the middle of a robbery, they curled into the fetal position and
began screaming and crying. The bank was full of witnesses. It's 
just bizzare. Want to come along? I'm heading over there now. I'll 
list you as an observer."

Mulder grabbed his suitcoat off the back of his chair. "You
coming Scully?" He smiled at her.

She considered for a moment. "Sure why not. It'll rest my
eyes from computer glare for a while."

****************************************

The bank was indeed full, and no one was allowed in or out
other then the police and them, after flashing their badges.

A lot of people were still hysterical. 

Tellers were babbling their statements to the police patiently writing 
their words down. The  customers were all being asked for their names 
and addresses. Some  were getting belligerent, demanding they be released 
to return to their  jobs. Others were still in mild shock. One woman held 
her young son in a death grip hug, both shaking violently. 

Mulder's eyes took it all in, almost sliding over the huddled figure in the 
corner. But the familiarity of the seated form, shaking, arms rapped around 
herself finally snapped his attention back to her. He frowned and strode 
purposely over to the corner. He barely noticed Scully at his side.

"Cassy?" He crouched and touched the woman's shoulder.

Scully watched as the woman looked startled then fell
forward wrapping her arms around Mulder, her whole body wracked 
by sobs. She was pale and Scully was certain she was suffering shock. 
Then the name he'd used clicked. He'd mentioned his upstairs neighbor,
and she knew he was dating her. The name Cassy had been mentioned
enough. This must be the woman.This was not the intelligent, witty young 
woman Mulder had described.

He was stroking her hair and back, making shushing sounds in
her ear. There was a warmth and tenderness there that Scully had
only seen him display toward herself, and she squashed the tiny
tremor of jealousy.  THAT was absurd.

Scully herself crouched next to the woman, and shot Mulder a
questioning look when she heard the girl's shaking voice
pronounce, "I did it. Oh God, Mulder, I did it. What have I done?
I... I... I just reacted. I couldn't control it." She sobbed
between words.

"Mulder I think she's in shock. She needs to see a doctor or
at least some rest."

"I'll take her home." Mulder stood, drawing the shaking
woman with him, supporting her as her knees seemed weak. "Tell
Jenkins her name is Cassandra Troy and she lives in my building.
Apartment 154. Tell him what you want. I'm taking her home."

Scully wanted to ask 'Your home or hers' but bit back the
question.

On the drive back to the apartment building Cassy had
stopped sobbing. Mulder looked over at her, not liking what he 
saw. She wasn't really looking at anything, and she was still 
shaking, her hands clasped around the tissue in her lap were 
white knuckled.

"Talk to me Cassy or I'm going to take you to the emergency
room."

She bit her lip, her face a mask of misery. Her eyes were
puffy from crying.

She had told him she did it. Not the robbery, he was aware
of that, but was whatever happened to the robbers her doing? It
was NOT outside of the realm of possibility, not by a long shot.
But he had never even heard of the SUGGESTION that an empathic
gift could be used offensively.

"Fine, I'll turn around here." He pulled over to a shopping
mall parking lot and felt her hand on top of his where it rested
on the steering wheel.

"Take me home Mulder. I'll... I'll tell you there. Just...
let me get a handle on this thing ok? I... I feel so out of
control, and I don't want you to be the next victim."

He hesitated a moment, the man in him warring with the
psychologist. She obviously needed help. He pulled back onto the
road and headed home. She was much more likely to open up to
someone she knew and trusted.

He took her to her own apartment. He figured she needed the
familiar surroundings to feel safe and secure.
 
She was walking on her own, but her motions were wooden,
they lacked her usual grace.

"Tammy will still be at work. Can I... can I take a shower
first? Please. I promise I won't run away." She managed an attempt
to smile at that, and he nodded, dropping his trenchcoat over the
back of one cream colored chair.

She moved into the bedroom and returned a few minutes later
dressed in a robe only to disappear into the bathroom.

He stared at the bathroom door, a muscle in his jaw
twitching. She felt she had to get clean it was a common reaction
in rape victims. But Cassy hadn't been raped.  

Somehow he thought Cassandra would be one of the last people to be
victimized. He knew the thought was stupid that EVERYONE could be
victimized but his first ever glimpse of her was in a dream. She was a
pillar of strength that chased away the nightmares and comforted
him. He supposed he had her on a kind of pedestal due to that. Now he
was finding out she was just as human, just as frail, as anyone else.

He'd even gone with her once to something called fighter
practice. He'd watched from the sidelines as she got encased in a
padded shirt and chain mail. Steal plates got strapped on her arms 
and legs and a helmet jammed on her head. She  went out onto a 
gymnasium floor to face off against other people, similarly attired. 
Some of them pretty big men. She swung around a rattan sword like
a vision of Xena. Ok, a more clothed Xena. 

She called it fun. It looked painful. She got hit during those bouts, 
and she hit back. A rule system was in effect as strict as any other 
sporting event he'd been to. It was odd, and like nothing he'd ever 
seen except in movies. But she was out there, loving it, practicing 
moves with other people.

Afterward she had a few bruises, but she was exhilarated and
laughing. She was strong and stable.

He did not recognize the woman he drove home. She was not strong or
stable. But, he'd be damned if he would just walk away or let it drop. 
She'd been there for him, even when he was nothing more then an
anonymous stranger. For once she needed HIM. The situation was bad, 
he didn't know what to make of it, but he wasn't about to let her down.

***************************************

In the shower Cassy scrubbed at her hair, she could still
smell his breath, it had to be stuck in her hair. She rinsed for
the third time. She scrubbed at her body, feeling the tears
falling again, and helpless to stop them. She was out of control.
She was a monster. She'd struck down five men, judge- jury- and
executioner. They were alive, yes, but would they ever recover?
Had Larry Norton?

Was she any better then the hapless madman she'd struck down?

She felt filthy, sullied by the mind she had touched. Mentally violated.
But who had initiated that violation? She had. She was as much to
blame as he was.

She sobbed and leaned her forehand against the cool tile of
the shower wall. Larry... he was still locked away somewhere,
still went into screaming fits that only drugging him into a
stupor would stop. She knew it. She had done it. 

She fell to her knees in the shower and vomited, heaved until 
nothing else would come up. She was only vaguely aware of the 
pounding on the bathroom door. But she felt the water stop, and 
the arms wrap around her, holding her.
 
Mulder got her out of the shower and pulled a towel around
her before making her sit on the toilet. He handed her a glass of
water and ordered her not to swallow, just rinse out her mouth.
She obeyed weakly.

He took her robe off the wall hook and folded it around
her, over the towel before taking the towel away and using it on
her hair gently.  He didn't say a word. Cassandra finally took
the towel from him and wrapped it around her head.

She walked out into the living room and fell onto the couch,
knowing he followed.

"When I was eighteen a guy I was dating wouldn't take no for
an answer." She spoke woodenly without tone or infliction. The
muscle twitched on Mulder's jaw again. Severely traumatized
people spoke that way. It didn't fit coming from Cassy's lips.

"I had recently broke up with my previous boyfriend. My
first... lover. Larry thought I was easy I guess. I fought with
him. I screamed. I pleaded." A single tear slid down her cheek
.
"He hit me. Knocked me close to unconscious... then he raped me."
She swallowed hard. "When the dizziness of his blow passed.... I
struck out. 

"I'm not even sure how. I... I pushed everything he made me feel 
into his mind, every emotion, the guilt and the revulsion, the rage 
and the feeling of helplessness, all of it, every little nuance. He 
collapsed under it."

"He started to scream, and wouldn't stop, because I'd made him 
KNOW that he had done that to me." She looked down at her hands. 

She was shaking again. "The last time I saw him they were hauling 
him off to the state psychiatric ward. I couldn't... I couldn't tell them what
happened. I couldn't face it. I went home and was sick. I think
more from what *I* had done then from what had been done to me."

Mulder sat beside her and held her. Guilt. It was stupid,
the bastard had deserved everything he got... and she knew it on
some level. But he was too very well aquainted with guilt, it
wasn't that easy to make go away. Sometimes it never did.

"Today." Cassy said against his chest. His shirt was wet
from holding her when she was in the shower but neither noticed.
"Today they came in, and they held a gun to my head. I could have
handled that, I could even have handled dying. But they also held
a little boy. So I let my shields down enough to try and judge
what they planned. Then I knew." 

He felt the tremors shake her, "They were going to kill everyone. 
I don't even remember how I did it... just like last time. I just... focused 
all the terror in that bank and pushed it on them. Locked it in them, somehow.
They knew how each of those people felt, tenfold. I did that. I
damned them to a mental institution for life. I don't know how to
UNDO what I did."

"So are you going to arrest me? I mean... you deal with
stuff like me all the time. I just attacked and destroyed five
people. I'm dangerous. I think you should arrest me."

Mulder tilted Cassy's chin up with his forefinger. "No court
would convict you, let alone take this thing you have seriously. 
It was self defense, pure and simple. Not only self defense but 
you saved the lives of everyone in that building. Trust me, I know. 
I was working on a profile for these guys. There wasn't a chance in 
hell of anyone in there leaving alive if you hadn't been there."

Cassy bit her lip again, meeting his eyes and quickly looking away. 
"Don't you dare tell me what it's like getting into their heads, Mulder. 
I was THERE. In his head. In his twisted, sick mind. I was HIM for a 
moment. Don't try to compare that with your nice, safe words on paper, 
your carefully distanced psychology. On your WORST day you never 
BECOME the people you profile." Cassy twisted the belt of her robe
in her hands.

"But that isn't the worst part. What I am capable of is. I can't CONTROL 
it. I'm as dangerous as those men. Who will be hurt next?"

"Damnit Cassy look at me." Surprised by the vehemence of his
tone Cassy obeyed, meeting his eyes. "You won't look into my eyes
because you will know I'm saying only the truth. You're afraid
of the truth right now. From what you just told me this kind of
thing only happens in self defense, when there is no other way
out. That's pretty controlled to me."

"But what if I perceive a threat that isn't there? If I strike out and 
hurt some innocent?"

"Deal with that IF it ever happens. I don't think it will.
You have the unique ability to completely assess a situation
emotionally and be dead on accurate. I do think... I think you
may need some help."

"Counseling you mean. Then I can share a nice little room
between Larry Norton and those five men. I can't talk to anyone
about this."

"I'll listen. I know what you can do. And I think I know a
good doctor who will believe you. He's listened to me on more
then one occasion."
 
Cassy inhaled and slowly exhaled. "OK." Se swallowed hard
again. "I'll be sure to talk about it. To you... or your doctor.
I promise. Just... I don't want to be alone right now. Can you
stay here till I can call Tammy home."

"Nope. I'll stay here. I have plenty of time racked up. I
usually end up using it on medical leave." He smiled gently at
her. "How much does Tammy know?"

"Everything. She knows all about me. Even... even about
Larry. She's the only one besides you." Cassy pulled the towel
off her hair and began twisting it in her lap.

"I'm honored." He kissed her softly on the forehead. "Just
let me call Scully and tell her I won't be back."

Cassy summoned up a smile for him. "I guess I didn't make
much of a first impression on her. And here I wanted to impress
her when we finally met."

"Hey, you impressed me. Don't worry. She understands
extenuating circumstances."

Mulder made a quick phone call and returned to sit on the
couch, pulling Cassy into his lap like a child, stroking her hair
and back, intimate, but not sexual. "Jenkins asked that you go to
the police and give your statement tomorrow. Can you handle
that?"

"You mean can I handle lying through my teeth?"

"No, tell the truth, at least the truth you think they can handle."

Cassandra sighed and nodded on his shoulder. "OK. I can do
that." She twined her arms around his neck. "Can... can I stay
with you tonight? I'd really like you to just... just hold me."

"Yah. We'll wait for Tammy to come home then pack up what
you'll need for the morning."

"Mulder."

"Mmmm?"

"Thank you. I have never been so afraid in my life. Thank
you for being here for me."

"Hey, anything for the girl of my dreams." He kissed the top
of her head.
==============================================