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Rules for Dj's
1. No sleeping over
2. No meeting in public
3. No calls before 2am.
4. None of that "lovemaking" shit
5. No emotional discussions...(ex. where are we heading with this? You Know where it's heading!!)
6. No plans made in advance...that is why you are called the 'backup'
7. No non-sexual gifts (altoids not included) 8. No baby talk (however, dirty talk is encouraged)
9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers (in fact, no conversations are a plus)
10. No kissing (too intimate)
11. No calling each other "friends with benefits" (we are not friends and we never will be)
12. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK (Phrases such as, "HONESTLY I WAS THINKING ABOUT TONI BRAXTON/ TYSON BECKFORD, are completely acceptable)
13. No extra clothing (i don't want your ass leaving anything behind that my real man/woman might find!)
14. No guilt about falling asleep right after sex
15. Don't be offended if i don't ask if you enjoyed it (i don't care)...and don't ask me!! I'll get mine - you worry about yours
16. I will not walk you to the door/car for any reason
17. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be, "My roommate's girl (man)
18. Doggie style preferred (rare exceptions when i am tired and let you ride)
19. Reason for doggie style: the less eye contact the better ........it destroys the purpose
20. We hook up absolutely whenever the mood strikes
EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS The aforementioned rules are not up for discussion:
they are a pre-booty call agreement!
Over
Pounds
of Chronic Smoked Today !!