Darkest Days Lyrics

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0 height="100%"><tr> <td valign="top" width=168 BGCOLOR="#000000" TEXT="#F7F7FF" background="041a11c3.gif"> <div> <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="A reason to exist"><U>A reason to exist</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id18.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Biography"><U>Biography</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id19.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Lyrics"><U>Lyrics</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id29.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Discography"><U>Discography</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id30.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Rare Songs/Remixes"><U>Rare Songs/Remixes</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id20.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Images"><U>Images</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id32.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Downloads"><U>Downloads</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id31.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Demos 90/91"><U>Demos '90/'91</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id34.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="About me"><U>About me</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id17.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Contact me"><U>Contact me</U></A></div> <bR> <bR> </td> <td valign="top" BGCOLOR="#000000" TEXT="#F7F7FF"> <div> <FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#99CC00" FACE="Arial" ><B>A reason to exist</B></FONT>     <FONT SIZE="1" COLOR="#CCCC66" FACE="Arial" >|   <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="A reason to exist"><U><B>home</B></U></A></FONT></div> <div>                                                   </div> <div> <IMG SRC="040f4010.gif" border=0 width="500" height="1" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div> Darkest Days Lyrics</div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B><U>Darkest Days</U></B></div> <bR> <div> <B>There are times, when I'm just a shell </B></div> <div> <B>When I do not feel, anything for anyone </B></div> <div> <B>All I feel is hollow & bruised</B></div> <div> <B>used up and mis-used</B></div> <div> <B>forced to be someone I don't want to be.</B></div> <div> <B>Have I failed somehow or some way</B></div> <div> <B>will the weight of today</B></div> <div> <B>finally pull me down to drown</B></div> <div> <B>in the depths of despair </B></div> <div> <B>where I am alone,</B></div> <div> <B>except for my rage?</B></div> <div> <B>My rage...my pain....</B></div> <div> <B>I hate my darkest days</B></div> <div> <B>my rage...my pain...</B></div> <div> <B>I hate my darkest days</B></div> <div> <B>My darkest days</B></div> <div> <B>everything I touch...I break...and I break...you...down....</B></div> <bR> <div> <B><U>Everything I touch</U></B></div> <bR> <div> <B>The more I feel...the more I die...</B></div> <div> <B>Nothing to give...nothing inside...</B></div> <bR> <div> <I><B>everything I touch, I break</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>I want to break you</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>Everything I touch, I break...</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>I want to break you down...</B></I></div> <bR> <div> <B>I scratch and tear</B></div> <div> <B>Until it bleeds</B></div> <div> <B>I do not want...</B></div> <div> <B>I only need</B></div> <div> <B>I only need</B></div> <div> <B>I only need...</B></div> <bR> <div> <I><B>Everything I touch...I break</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>I want to break you</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>Everything I touch, I break...</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>I want to break you down</B></I></div> <bR> <div> <B><U>How can I hold on? (dog attack)</U></B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Back when you were in my life</B></div> <div> <B>you gave me something that I could live for</B></div> <div> <B>Now everything's changed and you're gone</B></div> <div> <B>but I'm still here waiting</B></div> <bR> <div> <I><B>So how can I hold on</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>with nothing to hold on to...</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>why should I hold on</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>When there's nothing to hold on to?</B></I></div> <bR> <div> <B>Sex made me feel alive but now </B></div> <div> <B>I'm so bored with mindless passion</B></div> <div> <B>Drugs were someplace to hide </B></div> <div> <B>but they've left me feeling cold and empty</B></div> <bR> <div> <I><B>so how can I hold on</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>with nothing to hold on to</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>why should I hold on</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>when there's nothing to hold on to?</B></I></div> <bR> <div> <B>I thought you were my friend </B></div> <div> <B>that you were someone that I could turn to</B></div> <div> <B>But now I realize you were a friend</B></div> <div> <B>when you needed something.</B></div> <bR> <div> <I><B>so how can I hold on</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>with nothing to hold on to</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>why should I hold on</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>when there's nothing to hold on to?</B></I></div> <bR> <div> <B><U>Drugstore</U></B></div> <bR> <div> <B>You seduce me, lonely in your hell.</B></div> <div> <B>naked, hungry, I crawl into your cell</B></div> <div> <B>A virtual drugstore is piled on your bed</B></div> <div> <B>I can't resist with your tongue inside my head</B></div> <bR> <div> <I><B>How can everything be justified by you?</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>How can everything be justified by you?</B></I></div> <bR> <div> <B>You get off on watching me bleed</B></div> <div> <B>You get off on feeding my disease</B></div> <div> <B>this time will be perfect you explain</B></div> <div> <B>but your tongue is as deadly as a needle in my vein</B></div> <bR> <div> <I><B>How can everything be justified by you? </B></I></div> <div> <I><B>How can my demise be justified by you?</B></I></div> <bR> <div> <B>I'm so tired of living for your touch...</B></div> <div> <B>I'm so tired of needing you so much</B></div> <bR> <div> <I><B>How can everything be justified by you?</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>How can everything be justified by you</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>When did I decide to be crucified by</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>you?</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>How can everything be justified by you?</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>By you...</B></I></div> <bR> <div> <B><U>You complete me</U></B></div> <bR> <div> <B>I am lost in the darkness</B></div> <div> <B>between to worlds</B></div> <div> <B>and here I'm struggling...</B></div> <div> <B>You're the light I've been seeking</B></div> <div> <B>cause my whole life there's been something missing</B></div> <bR> <div> <I><B>Only you...can make me whole</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>Just one touch...you complete me</B></I></div> <bR> <div> <B>Rescue me, from this black hole</B></div> <div> <B>that's sucked me in and left me dying</B></div> <div> <B>you're the truth that I've been seeking</B></div> <div> <B>Cause my whole life I've been lying...</B></div> <bR> <div> <I><B>Only you...can make me whole</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>Just one touch...and you complete me</B></I></div> <bR> <div> <B>God I pray you find me worthy</B></div> <div> <B>of the right to stand beside you</B></div> <div> <B>and of your truth, and your passion</B></div> <div> <B>and of the right to sleep beside you</B></div> <bR> <div> <I><B>Only you...can make me whole</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>Just one touch...you complete me.</B></I></div> <bR> <div> <B><U>Save yourself</U></B></div> <bR> <div> <B>I know your life is empty</B></div> <div> <B>and you hate to face this world alone...</B></div> <div> <B>so you're searching for and angel, </B></div> <div> <B>someone who can make you whole</B></div> <bR> <div> <I><B>I can not save you...</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>I can't even save myself</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>So just save yourself.</B></I></div> <bR> <div> <B>I know that you've been damaged </B></div> <div> <B>and your soul has suffered such abuse</B></div> <div> <B>But I am not your savior, </B></div> <div> <B>I am just as fucked as you</B></div> <bR> <div> <I><B>I cannot save you...</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>I can't even save myself</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>So just save yourself.</B></I></div> <bR> <div> <B>Please...don't take pity on me</B></div> <div> <B>Please don't take pity on me</B></div> <div> <B>Please don't take pity on me.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>My life has been a nightmare</B></div> <div> <B>my soul is fractured to the bone</B></div> <div> <B>so if I must be lonely</B></div> <div> <B>I think I'd rather be alone</B></div> <bR> <div> <I><B>You cannot save me</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>You can't even save yourself...</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>I cannot save you..</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>I can't even save myself...</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>so just save yourself</B></I></div> <bR> <div> <B><U>Haunting me</U></B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Everywhere I go I see your face</B></div> <div> <B>and every sound I hear </B></div> <div> <B>is the sound of your voice</B></div> <div> <B>why are you haunting me</B></div> <div> <B>why can't I let you go?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>So everything about me is a lie</B></div> <div> <B>at least it feels that way</B></div> <div> <B>when I look in your eyes</B></div> <div> <B>the truth scares the shit out of me</B></div> <div> <B>who ever said love is real and love is blood</B></div> <div> <B>has never felt the way that I feel</B></div> <div> <B>What does it matter</B></div> <div> <B>what's done is done and I should get on with my life...</B></div> <bR> <div> <I><B>why are you haunting me</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>Why are you haunting me?</B></I></div> <bR> <div> <B>well I don't know what it is </B></div> <div> <B>but I can't seem to make myself forget</B></div> <div> <B>was it something that you said</B></div> <div> <B>or is it all the guilt inside my head</B></div> <bR> <div> <I><B>why are you haunting me?</B></I></div> <bR> <div> <B><U>Torn Apart</U></B></div> <bR> <div> <B>I know I should have told you</B></div> <div> <B>but I was so afraid you'd leave</B></div> <div> <B>and now there's nothing left to say</B></div> <div> <B>well nothing you'd believe</B></div> <div> <B>I never meant to hurt you </B></div> <div> <B>with the thing I couldn't say</B></div> <div> <B>I promise you tomorrow while denying you today...</B></div> <bR> <div> <I><B>These lies have torn my world apart</B></I></div> <bR> <div> <B>a darkness grows inside me</B></div> <div> <B>in fading shades of gray</B></div> <div> <B>all the colors of the world</B></div> <div> <B>are slowly sucked away</B></div> <div> <B>I'm sinking ever deeper to a place that's cold and black</B></div> <div> <B>I can't believe I've lost you</B></div> <div> <B>and you're never coming back</B></div> <bR> <div> <I><B>these lies have torn my world apart</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>these lies have torn my world apart</B></I></div> <bR> <div> <B>soon the night will take me </B></div> <div> <B>and save me from my pain </B></div> <div> <B>cloak me in cold darkness </B></div> <div> <B>and help me lose your name...</B></div> <bR> <div> <I><B>these lies have torn my world apart</B></I></div> <bR> <div> <B><U>Sometimes it hurts</U></B></div> <bR> <div> <B>six o clock in the morning</B></div> <div> <B>my head is ready to explode</B></div> <div> <B>I can't believe I made it home alive</B></div> <div> <B>I don't remember where I went or</B></div> <div> <B>what I was drinking</B></div> <div> <B>but I know it's made me sick</B></div> <div> <B>and I'm not denying</B></div> <div> <B>that I get this way when I try to get over you...</B></div> <div> <B>I get this way when I try to get over you...</B></div> <bR> <div> <I><B>Sometimes it hurts so much to lose the one you love</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>sometimes it hurts so much</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>to lose the one you love...</B></I></div> <bR> <div> <B>I tried so hard to hate you, </B></div> <div> <B>but it only made things worse </B></div> <div> <B>I only end up hating myself</B></div> <div> <B>and as my hatred grows so do the lies</B></div> <div> <B>it's hard to face the truth sometimes...</B></div> <div> <B>God I feel so useless...</B></div> <div> <B>God I hate myself when I try to get over you..</B></div> <div> <B>I hate myself..will I ever get over you?</B></div> <bR> <div> <I><B>sometimes it hurts so much</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>to lose the one you love...</B></I></div> <bR> <div> <B>and after all this time you'd think</B></div> <div> <B>I'd understand the way you feel, </B></div> <div> <B>but no...I only think about myself...</B></div> <div> <B>and it's driving you away...</B></div> <div> <B>I always knew it would one day...</B></div> <bR> <div> <I><B>sometimes it hurts so much</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>to lose the one you love...</B></I></div> <bR> <div> <B><U>Drowning</U></B></div> <div> <B>I'm drowning in nothing... nothing real</B></div> <div> <B>nothing left...nothing</B></div> <div> <B>I'm losing myself</B></div> <div> <B>sinking deeper down</B></div> <div> <B>silently</B></div> <div> <B>leaving this behind</B></div> <div> <B>nothing left but me</B></div> <div> <B>I'm hating myself</B></div> <div> <B>h a t i n g</B></div> <div> <B>everyone hates me now</B></div> <div> <B>everything has changed</B></div> <div> <B>everyone has changed but me,</B></div> <div> <B>everyone has changed.</B></div> <bR> <div> <B><U>Desperate now</U></B></div> <bR> <div> <B>I keep breaking all the promises</B></div> <div> <B>that I keep making to myself</B></div> <div> <B>you'd think by now that I'd be over this</B></div> <div> <B>instead I'm feeling sorry for myself</B></div> <div> <B>So why does everything seem so desperate now</B></div> <div> <B>I should be feeling so alive</B></div> <div> <B>but it feels like something's missing</B></div> <div> <B>something's wrong somehow</B></div> <div> <B>it feel like something deep inside has died</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>S</B><I><B>o why do I feel desperate now</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>why do I feel like dying</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>why do I feel desperate now</B></I></div> <bR> <div> <B>I keep breaking all the promises that I keep making to myself</B></div> <div> <B>but promises mean nothing to me anymore</B></div> <div> <B>Circling the drain</B></div> <div> <B>spiraling to hell...</B></div> <bR> <div> <I><B>so why do I feel desperate now</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>why do I feel like dying</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>why do I feel desperate now</B></I></div> <bR> <div> <B><U>Goodbye</U></B></div> <bR> <div> <B>so this is where I say goodbye</B></div> <div> <B>this is where my story ends</B></div> <div> <B>and if there's one thing that I've learned from life</B></div> <div> <B>it's that it gets you in the end</B></div> <div> <B>so goodbye my friend...</B></div> <div> <B>goodbye</B></div> <div> <B>so goodbye my friend...</B></div> <div> <B>goodbye</B></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B><U>When I'm dead</U></B></div> <bR> <div> <B>I know the tears you're crying </B></div> <div> <B>in your bed at night alone</B></div> <div> <B>I've cried those tears a thousand times</B></div> <div> <B>but those shallow empty songs about suicide are patronizing</B></div> <div> <B>You've got to learn to face your fears</B></div> <bR> <div> <I><B>Or do you think I'll be less lonely when I'm dead</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>it can't silence all the voices in my head</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>I close my eyes but I can't make it go away</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>Do you think I'd be less lonely</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>when I'm dead</B></I><B>?</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>I know the songs you're singing </B></div> <div> <B>saying nothing loud and clear</B></div> <div> <B>I've heard those songs a thousand times</B></div> <div> <B>But your noble empty lies about suicide are patronizing</B></div> <div> <B>You can never understand what I feel</B></div> <bR> <div> <I><B>Do you think I'd be less lonely when I'm</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>dead?</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>It can't silence all the voices in my head</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>I close my eyes but I can't make it go away</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>Do you think I'd be less lonely</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>God I pray that I'm less lonely when I'm dead.</B></I></div> <bR> <div> <B><U>The thing I hate (P.O.M.F)</U></B></div> <bR> <div> <B>Lost in a world of doubt and insecurity</B></div> <div> <B>Nothing that you hold sacred,</B></div> <div> <B>nothing you believe</B></div> <div> <B>Your life is a contradiction</B></div> <div> <B>while you thrive on manipulation</B></div> <div> <B>I fight just to hold on to what I believe</B></div> <bR> <div> <I><B>I won't become the thing I hate...</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>I won't become the thing I hate</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>I won't become you</B></I></div> <bR> <div> <B>You've treated me like I'm a worthless piece of shit</B></div> <div> <B>you think you're in control but you make me sick</B></div> <div> <B>I want to watch you suffer the way that you've made me suffer</B></div> <div> <B>I want to fuck up everything you've ever loved</B></div> <bR> <div> <I><B>But I won't become the thing I hate...I won't become you</B></I></div> <bR> <div> <B><U>On your way down</U></B></div> <bR> <div> <B>I hope I see you on your way down</B></div> <div> <B>I hope you break every bone</B></div> <div> <B>I hope it kills you on your way down</B></div> <div> <B>and I hope you die alone</B></div> <div> <B>All of your hate and all of your lies..</B></div> <div> <B>will it be worth it?</B></div> <div> <B>when all your best friend refuse to be alibis,</B></div> <div> <B>will it be worth it?</B></div> <bR> <div> <I><B>I'll see you on your way down...</B></I></div> <div> <I><B>I'll see you on your way down</B></I></div> <bR> <div> <B>It's kind of sad to watch you break down</B></div> <div> <B>You greedy fuck you pissed it all away</B></div> <div> <B>so who will catch you on your way down</B></div> <div> <B>you've only got yourself to blame</B></div> <div> <B>when all your worst fears ...materialize...will it be worth it</B></div> <div> <B>there's nobody left who cares you're alive</B></div> <div> <B>was it worth it?</B></div> <bR> <div> <I><B>I'll see you on your way down...</B></I></div> <bR> <div> <B><U>Waking up beside you</U></B></div> <bR> <div> <B>I've been so alone for so long </B></div> <div> <B>forgotten by the world...</B></div> <div> <B>forgotten to myself</B></div> <div> <B>Your effervescent eyes have awakened me</B></div> <div> <B>and brushed the dust away</B></div> <div> <B>but I knew you'd never stay</B></div> <div> <B>so I memorized the color of your eyes</B></div> <div> <B>as I lost myself inside you</B></div> <div> <B>I memorized the way our legs entwined </B></div> <div> <B>as I drifted off beside you</B></div> <bR> <div> <I><B>I miss...god I miss...waking up beside you</B></I></div> <bR> <div> <B>At night I cling to you I'm so afraid...</B></div> <div> <B>afraid a day will come and I'll wake and find you gone</B></div> <div> <B>but you promise that you'd not abandon me</B></div> <div> <B>and kissed my fears away</B></div> <div> <B>but I woke up to that day</B></div> <div> <B>but I had memorized the way our eyes would meet </B></div> <div> <B>reflected in the bathroom mirror</B></div> <div> <B>and I memorized your naked silhouette </B></div> <div> <B>as you slowly brushed your hair</B></div> <bR> <div> <I><B>I miss...God I miss...waking up beside you</B></I></div> <bR> <div> <B>I've been so alone for so long</B></div> <div> <B>I forgot how much it hurts</B></div> <div> <B>to wakeup so alone</B></div> <div> <B>But I'd memorized how warm your body felt</B></div> <div> <B>as you lay half asleep beside me</B></div> <div> <B>and I memorized the way the sunlight filled the room </B></div> <div> <B>and played upon your body...</B></div> <bR> <div> <I><B>I miss...God I miss...waking up beside you.</B></I></div> <bR> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>