Ally is quite good at coming up with little quotes, which she
calls McBealisms. They are quite neat, so I've decided to dedicate
a section of my website to them! :)

"I-can't-move-my-feet!"

"
Let's ask the people. Oh, excuse me. The idiots. Is that right?"

"That's very funny, because the other day I felt that we were
going to get together and that's exactly where it happened.
In your dreams."

"Sometimes I'm tempted to become a street person, cut off from
society. But then I wouldn't get to wear my outfits."

"But your honor, I'm afraid of criminals!"

"Oh, I'm trying to catch that damn baby. He keeps runnin' around
my room!"

"It has nothing to do with the size of his...shoe."

"I like being a mess. It's who I am."

"Whoever said that 'plenty of fish in the sea' thing was wrong.
Sometimes there's only one fish. Trust me."

"I always know when people are talking about me. My left
fibula itches."

"I'm actually luckier than most. I get to wake up each morning,
glad to start a new day--grateful the last one is over."

"Today is going to be a...less bad day. I can feel it. Sometimes
I wake up and know everything is going to be...less bad."

"The truth is, I probably don't want to be too happy or content,
'cause then what? I actually like the quest, the search. That's
the fun."

"Why do I always have to fall down?"

"They say it's all in the attitude, and mine has changed. And I
can tell, this time it's going to last--maybe even a week!"

"Don't ask any questions, don't pass judgements, don't even pass !
Just listen, accept the fact that I need help and give it to me."

"That little Huggie bastard just threw a spear at me!"

"Of course I lied through my teeth, did you want me to tell Georgia
that if Billy and I were on an island together it would be a
completely horizontal way of life?"

"Why does everyone always come in here and say 'Ally'? And don't
say because it's my name, I know it's my name! I don't need outside
council to tell me my name, I know my name."

"I'm human, I'm temperamental, I'm guilty, and I'm ovulating!"

"I have a great imaginary world, but sometimes I just need things
to happen."

"I don't even like my hair!"

"I know I've got it great, really. I've got good friends, good job,
loving family, total freedom, and long bubble baths. What more
could there be?"

"I think I just need to believe that it works. Love, couplehood,
partnerships. The idea that when two people come together, they
stay together. I have to take that to bed with me every night,
even if I'm going to bed alone. That's a McBealism."

"Aah...I've got blood on me. I'm a suspect. Um, I think I...bye!"

"You don't just sneak up on someone and call their name while
their watching handicapped people get thrown down stairs!"

"It's just that when you left...back then I prayed let me be
married first, or let me have children first, or at least let
me die first. I'm just nervous that I'm going to go 1 for 3."

"I live my life as one big Christmas Eve, and it makes me happy,
happy, happy!"

"Who wants to be balanced? Balance is overrated!"

"Lizzie Borden took an axe and gave her father fifty whacks.
Born again in '61 and killed her husband just for fun."

"Well, whaddaya know. It's Sonny and Cher."

"Where does it say that women can't act like men sometimes?
I saw a cute piece of meat and I said to myself, you only live
once. Be a man."

"Hey! No! Don't say you're sorry when you're not sorry. You
didn't even look up to see who you bumped into. What if I was
an old lady? I could've fallen down and broken a hip! I could
be lying on my back in some HMO, my lungs filling up with phlegm
'till I'm on life support, draining my family of ever last cent
of their inheritance while I asphyxiate on some half-hacked
dried mucous! No! Don't say you're sorry when you're not sorry!"

"What, he can't be a man and just paw me a little? I am a sexual
object, for godsake, he couldn't give me a little grope?"

"The truth for me [is that] our friendship is the greatest thing
I got going. I cherish it. And to put honesty boundary on it...
I don’t want to. So free fall with the truth and hope we both
survive?"

"I-I've gotta carry something dead in a box. It's like on the
same day I gotta deal with the two sure things in life: death
and adultery. Oh, stop letting me talk!"

"It's not just a baby, Renee. It dances, it wiggles, it struts
around."

"Listen, I don't need to pay for a therapist to give me crap.
I have a roommate who does it for free."

"All right, Mr. Huggy, you wanna dance? Let's go."

"Men are constantly trying to mentally undress me. I'm just
trying to save them some time, that's all."

"I cannot believe the things I'm hearing come out of your mouth.
But considering the places it's been, maybe I should'nt be so
shocked!

"Don't even speak. I don't even want to know your name. I live
across the street. I want to take you to a hotel room, take
your clothes off, do bad things. I'll have you back in an hour.
Whaddaya say?" (Contributed by Ella Licup)

"And what? We're gonna say it happened by accident? She went
out for some fresh air, stretched, and his penis fell in?"

"What is so great about the real world?"

"We keep on believing life is gonna take care of everything.
It doesn't."

"The last thing you want is to be in love with someone you can't
have. Believe me, that's something I know."

"I have a great imaginary world, but sometimes I just need things
to happen."

"Just remember, when I'm here you're not the strangest person
in the room. Go ahead, get weird on me."

"Hi, I'm Ally McBeat, Meat, Meal, Beal! Ally McBeal. It takes
a while but I usually get it right."

"We're women. We have double standards to live up to."

"I think the world is in big trouble. We laugh at people who
aspire to romance, we celebrate hookers under the joys of
female autonomy...do you want me to put this in writing, John?"

"Sometimes there's no point in the truth if all it's going
to do is cause pain."

"Whenever I get depressed, I raise my hemline. If I keep on
like this, I'm going to be arrested!"

"Less fantasy--more reality."

"There are some people who meet that somebody that they can
never stop loving, no matter how hard they try. I wouldn't
expect you to understand that, or even believe it, but trust
me, there are some loves that don't go away. And maybe that
makes them crazy, but we should all be lucky enough to end
up with somebody who has a little of that insanity. Someone
who never lets go. Someone who cherishes you forever."

"You're supposed to be able to send your life to the dry-cleaners
and get it back nicely pressed and folded."

"Even if I get past my problems I'm just going to go out and
get new ones!"

"Don't you Ally me. I don't like being Allied, especially by men!"

"I'm in your face too, only I'm shorter!"

Just remember, when you're with me you're not the strangest
person in the room. Go ahead, get weird on me."
"I'm not particularly pre-occupied with the husband/baby thing.
Besides I have a dog"
Calista Flockhart
since 09/04/00