TWO FOR THE PRICE OF ONE
     ALICE LEXY VERSION

I am a young man with a simple occupation
I clean the toilets of the local railroad station
There's no romance in my life-
sometimes I wish I had a knife!

I read the offers on the advertisement pages
The cries for help from different people, different ages
but they had nothing to say
at least not until today,
when something special I read,
this is what it said

If you dream of a girl for you,
then call us and get
two for the price of one
It's a bargain and you feel blue
so call us and get
two for the price of one
If you dream of a girl for you,
then call us and get
two for the price of one
If you dream of a girl for you
then call us and get
two for the price of one

I called the number and a voice said "Alice Lexy"
The voice was husky and it sounded kinda sexy
I was amazed at my luck
the purest streak of gold I've struck
I said I read your ad it sounded rather thrilling
I think a meeting could be mutually fullfilling
Why don't we meet for a chat
the three of us in my flat
I can't forget what she said
this is what I read

If you dream...

I am a young man with a simple occupation
I clean the platforms and the  toilets at the railway station

(Alice Lexy version doesn't have the familiar punchline)