A square in the social circle - Jay Livingston,
Ray Evans
I used my silver spoon at birth for throwing meatballs at my nurse;
And, much to my regret, I can't mingle with the social set.
I used the wrong fork at the Stork in New York, my manners ain't fit for a goop:
I'm just a square in the social circle –
Who put that fly in my soup?!
I'd rather go out with a lout to a bout than sleep in a symphony hall:
I'm just a square in the social circle –
Who knocked my gum off that wall?!
When the utterly utter flows like butter, I wanna start pitchin' a curve.
With a silly old blighter on a first-nighter, I feel like a pickled hors d'oeuvre
–
No verve! I never felt gay in a fancy beret, I'll wear a babushka or burst.
I'm just a square in the social circle: Fingerbowls irk me the worst –
They just don't quench my thirst!
Mrs. Vanderpuss will greet me with a 14-karat shout,
"My dear! You've simply got to come to my daughter's coming out!""
Her daughter is a Frankenstein, a Dracula in mink.
When she comes out, each stag will shout, ""Gadzooks! I need
a drink!!""
I've dined and clubbed, I've elbow-rubbed from Yonkers to Cheyenne:
Foo to you, bud, take your blue blood and stick it in your fountain pen!
I wanna brush all the plush and the gush; I'd rather get left than be right:
I'm just a square in the social circle –
Anyone here wanna fight?
And none of me fits with the wits at the Ritz; I'd rather relax on a stool:
I'm just a square in the social circle –
Anyone wanna shoot pool?
When a cookie with cabbage gets too savage, I wrassle him three-out-of-four.
I'd rather a sailor hop in my trailer and show me his nautical lore –
Why, shore! Ladies in frills only fill me with chills; they're soft as
a ball of chenille:
I'm just a square in the social circle, I've got a muscle of steel –
Anyone here wanna feel? I'm as square as a pear in a boutonniere:
Fancy silks won't stay on,
I'm designed for rayon……but I just don't seem to care……I'm
just a square!
