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10: Whenever you start talking, they say, "Let it be, bonehead"
9. When the band appeared on Sullivan, you had to share a dressing room with a seal
8. You find out you were the inspiration for "Nowhere Man"
7. After you spent weeks working on a painting for the cover, they decide to go with "The White Album"
6. You come into the studio and find your sitar smashed
into a thousand pieces
5. Keep assigning you to tour with Beatlemania
4. Repeatedly cracking you on the skull with silver hammers
3. You're still waiting to find out whether any of those records you all put out ever made any money
2. Always trying to set you up with Yoko
1. They tell you, "We hear the Stones are hiring"
(Excerpted from David Letterman's New Book of Top Ten Lists and Wedding Dress Patterns for the Husky Bride, Bantam Press.)
