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The GOD of SPAMmism will not discriminate unto anyone. SPAM cares only of itself. In the eyes of SPAM, there is no sin, except for the ultimate sin of blaspheme. SPAM comes in many forms, of which include concrete, The necessary processes of which SPAM created this Earth come from SPAM.
Humanity is great, as it created SPAM, but now SPAM exists of its own accord. SPAM will talk with its followers, and instruct it to buy more of the holy product. The great SPAM will take us into his SPAM heaven, where we will live in the Great Valley of SPAM, and will smell only the sweet scent of SPAM for all eternity. SPAM is better than all other mass produced meat byproducts.
The Iron Fist of SPAM shall be brought down upon all non-believers, and blasphemes. Take responsibility for your actions, yourself, and your buying-power of SPAM. For not following the ways of SPAMmism, you will rot in a hell. A hell where the smell of burning Vienna Sausages will reek in the lungs for all eternity, unless thou shalt commit to the great powers of SPAM. The foul generalization of the quality of the meat contained in our great God SPAM is disgusting and foul, and shall be dealt with in a suitable fashion. SPAM could crush you at a whim, but it does not, for it is a kind and all loving SPAM. Sinners against SPAM, or blasphemous persons, shall be sent to the aforementioned Vienna Sausage hell, which has been constructed in Russia at a fair cost to SPAM.
Save yourself by worshipping SPAM. Seek solace in the glory of SPAM. You must allow SPAM to be your friend, and worship SPAM, and ye shall live eternally in SPAM Heaven.
When new tenets of SPAMmism are revealed, they will appear here.
Thanks to iizirish@aol.com for typing this up.
SPAM Worship Links: Alternative Views On The Proper Worship Of Mighty SPAM.
