The Disappointed Marriage, or an Hue and Cry after an outlandish Monster. (1723 )
The Disappointed Marriage, or an Hue and Cry after an outlandish Monster. (1723 )
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[of William Prince of Orange and the Princess Royal]
O Yes, O Yes, I want to know;
Enquire I must of High and Low;
For a strange Monster's lately lost,
An Hogen Mogen's strangely crost:
This Monster was so vig'rous grown,
In Court, in City, and in Town,
'Twas thought that Marriage might him tame,
If he could get a luscious Dame:
After a Treaty 'twas agreed,
That he should wedded be with speed:
'Tho much against the Lady's Will,
To swallow such a bitter Pill.
But Parents told her that she must
Obey their Dictates, or be curs'd:
What signifies your Husband's Shape,
Whether like a Monkey or an Ape;
To marry him we think it fit,
For tho' deform'd he is a Wit:
We'll dress him fine before he comes,
And make a Noise with Guns and Drums.
His Chain b'ing gone, with Ribbon ty'd
He shall come over to his Bride.
But alas, my Neighbours, he's not found
O'er all our native British Ground:
Find him, and bring him unto me;
And O-,--, then shall be your Fee:
And that you well may know his Worth
His Parts in brief I will set forth:
His Head is large, his Neck awry,
His Ears are long, and squints with Eye,
A Sparrow Mouth, a dumb Jack's Chin,
A crooked Snout which denteth in;
His Back and Breast do both combine
To make his beastly Parts more fine;
For like a Dove he pouts his Breast,
His Back the same I do protest;
His Body's round, if you regard,
His A--, sticks out almost a Yard:
'Tis mighty handy for a Kick,
But very limber is his -----
Which will I doubt breed some Disgust
With those who search the Monster first.
His knees against each other smite,
As if they ow'd each other spite.
his Legs bend out much like a Bow,
his Shins are sharp, and rugged too.
And now to make this List compleat,
He has two delicate splaw feet
If you don't find him, this all know,
You'll spoil St. J----- glitt'ring Show.
