Hi... this is the worst thing I've ever written... and I just wanted to tell you that. Enjoy! (If that's possible) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The dangerous voyages of the wonderfully beautiful warrior princess Xena the extraordinary (Lay on thick why don't you...) Chapter one, Slayers Land "GOURRRRYYYYYY!!" Lina screamed and bashed him in the head for the third time that morning. He had made a remark about her chest again, and that... she didn't like. She had bashed him over the head as she always does... The others in the group didn't even turn their heads, this was very usual... in fact... Lina had been calmer that day... she hadn't fireballed Xelloss or anything. "I have a bad feeling about this..." Xelloss said, he sounded a little worried. Everybody turned to look at him, it was not an everyday moment that he slipped with his voice like that, he always sounded cheery. Suddenly, everyone heard a rustle in the bushes and some cursing. Lina smiled widely "Bandits eh? Fry-time" She cracked her knuckles. "No..." Xelloss said and gestured a 'no' signal with his hands towards Lina "That's no bandit... not a bandit at all" Suddenly the person stepped out of the bushes. She had some kind of ugly black armor, black hair... and she looked kind'a clumsy in those clothes. It was Xena. "Where am I?" Xena asked as she studied the people. The first one that caught her attention was the redhead... she wore strange clothes... maybe it was some kind of festival around here... then she noticed that pretty much all of them wore strange clothes. Then her attention turned to the stone-faced-man. She took a step back, maybe that vile beast had captured them and held them prisoners. She turned to Xelloss, naahh... he's to cheerful to be a prisoner... "Where you are.... uuhhh... you're here" Gourry said and scratched at the back of his head. Lina bashed him again. "I mean... what world is this?" She asked again and got some annoying looks from the people around here. "A world traveler?" Lina said skeptically, "I doubt it" She folded her arms. Xena hmphed angrily. "Look, I don't know who you are or--" Xena began... Lina continued "I am the great sorceress supreme, LINA INVERSE" She points up at the sky... and it starts raining. "ARRGH!" She screams angrily. Xena chuckles silently. "Never heard of you" Xena said. "Whaaaaaaat?!" Lina said, obviously very surprised at that... and who wouldn't be. "You don't know who I am?" She turned teary eyed "Then you have to be from some other world" Lina said and sat down on a nearby log. "Now, now Lina-san... you can't expect people to know about you in other worlds... that would be impossible" Xelloss tries to comfort Lina but just gets blasted into a tree with a fireball. Xena stared at the little red haired girl... had she just... cast a fireball? Oh my god... she thought. "Who are you? Are you a demon?" Xena asked and drew her sword. Everybody sweatdropped as they looked at Lina. "Ehhh... no, I'm a sorceress remember?" Lina said. Xena didn't move. "You know... magic?" Xena still didn't move. So... Lina's natural reaction was to get mad at her. "Are you listening!?! FIREBALL!" She sent a fireball at Xena. Xena didn't have time to move so... She kind'a got fried and fell to the ground. "Stupid #¤%&..." Lina mumbled. "Ne, Lina-san... don't use such foul words" Xelloss said, smiling as usual. "Shut up" Lina mumbled and Xelloss smiled (Freak... but a cute one). Xena raised herself of the ground "You have not beaten me--" She said and then she fell down again... unconscious... "Weak" Zelgadiss said. Lina and the others nodded. A couple of hours later... Xena was lying on the floor in Lina's room (Well Lina didn't want to make the bed dirty). "Ohhh..." Xena woke up and clutched her head in her hands. "Where am I?" She asked and looked around. Lina smiled at her (Forced... have ta' be) "The demon!!" Xena yelled and hopped up, only to have her head slammed into a shelf (idiot) "Ohh..." She groaned and shut her eyes in pain. "You're really clutzy... did ya' know that?" Lina said. Xena glared at Lina. "I am Xena" She said, Lina blinked "Well... Uhh... I'm Lina Inverse... nice ta' meet you" She said confused. Xena blinked a few times. "Don't you know who I am?" Xena asked. Lina thought for a moment "No" Xena fell to the floor with a tear in her eye. "You know... you really are clutzy..." Xena immediately hopped up. "I challenge you" She said and took a fighting position. "Hmmm... okay, but could we fight outside? I don't want to ruin any furniture... they're gonna put it on my bill..." Lina said and jumped out the window. Xena followed after her... but she couldn't resist... "AIAIAIAIAIAIAIA!!!" (For you who have watched Xena... would probably have killed me if I didn't include that...) Xena did a few flips in the air and then landed on a ground. Lina looked at her, with a sick expression on her face. "Uuuhhh... something wrong with your stomach?" Xena *VEIN POP* Xena took a fighting position and Lina yawned. "You don't take me seriously..." Xena growled. Lina yawned again "Nope, you're clutzy so why would I?" She asked and folded her arms. Xena *VEIN POP*. "We'll see who's clutzy!!" Xena screamed as she began kicking and punching at Lina. Lina dodged them all. ~~*FIGHT*~~ Xena threw a punch at Lina *SWIIISH* but she dodged it without even looking. Xena then did a roundhouse kicks *FLASH SWING SWISH SWISH SWASH* Lina dodged them too. Xena did a lot of other kinds of attacks. *WISH WASH SWISH WOSH WASH SHAW* Lina then levitationed to float above Xena. "Umm... where does all those sounds come from?" Lina asked and cooked her eyebrow. Xena shrugged. "I dunno... I guess it's just my producers which thinks it's cool or something..." "Oh..." Lina said and floated down. Their fight resumed like before. Finally Lina got tired at dodging and cast a fireball at Xena KNOCKOUT!! ~~*END OF FIGHT*~~ Since Lina had already beaten Xena now... twice... Xena felt that she had to leave, or else she'd get very bloody miserable. "Well... it's been nice knowing you" Amelia said. "Likewise" Xena mumbled. They all said their farewells. Later that day... "WHAHHAHAOAHOHOHAHAHAOAH" Xena turned to the one with the terrible laugh (Guess who that is...) There stood a girl, looking much like herself... although this one was uglier (That's what SHE thinks... Hmm... maybe she's right) and wearing... almost nothing. "Who are you?!??!" Xena yelled. "I am Naga, the white serpent!!" She said and struck a pose. "Ehhh... okay" Xena said and turned to walk down the road again, she had had enough with craziness today. Naga ran after her... but this time Xena was lucky... Naga got struck by lightning and fell unconscious... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Eheheheh... now this fic is the worst thing I've ever written... I hope my bro doesn't find it... he's obsessed with Xena (And Hercules). Johan peeks into Hanna's room. Johan: Hi Hanna! What'cha doing? Hanna hears him and tries to close the text program. Hanna: Uhhh... nothing, Go'way ya' little brat!! Johan spots the fic. Johan: WHAAAAAAAAT!?!??! Runs to read it. Johan: Just WHAT is this!?!? Hanna: Uhhh... a fanfic? Johan: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO-- GABRIELLE!??! Hanna: Who's that? Johan: Ehhh... The blond thing? Hanna: Gabrielle is that yuckie slimy thing? Oh my... Johan: What have you done to her? Hanna: Johan... do you have a crush on her. Johan (Blush): Ehhh... Hanna: Oh well... nevermind... I just hope you all enjoyed the fic more than my brother did... and I also hope you had more fun reading it than I had writing it... How will I survive writing the rest? Hanna is suddenly bashed in the head by her ungrateful brother. Johan: Bye bye! Tell me your thoughts: hannafrid@hotmail.com Hanna Fridén http://www.fortunecity.com/victorian/blake/193/fanfiction/inufic.html