My father, Carl Robert Self page

The worst time of my life was when my father passed away, I was only 20 years old and not prepared, to say the least. Yet I have happy memories and I know his soul lives on. See photo of my bear like father below.

My beloved father had many talents, see the only surviving piece of his artwork that we know of.

Below see my beloved grandparents and my father as a small child.

See my father as he appeared in high school, handsome young devil, knows everything.

Once, when I was a boy, we had thoroughbred goats, Carl's favorite was Snooper.

My father had a wonderful and unique sense of humor, and the ability to make one laugh at oneself and one's own troubles. He enjoyed playing chess, and he liked the kung fu, all in the family and sanford and son tv shows. He enjoyed movies including "The Vikings", "Jeremiah Johnson" and "Cool hand Luke". He enjoyed Leon Russell's "Shelter people", early Black Oak Arkansas and Carole King. Like many people he went through different phases during his short lifetime. He once told me that "Love is the most powerful force in the universe, more powerful than even death." Always deeply religious in spite of some drinking, fighting and womanizing along the way, he finally found Yoga. First he received the "4 keys to the kingdom of heaven" from Guru Maharaji, then he found Paramahansa Yogananda. He gave me a copy of the "Autobiography of a Yogi" just a couple of days before he died, proclaiming, "This is the highest Yoga and the highest religion." In my mind his words will always ring true. My love for my father cannot be spoken of in words, nor can the pain of losing him.

I quote from an Email sent to my friend Kashi: "My father died at age 37, when I was only 20 years old, and I had no will to live for years after that. But you may also know that my father, Carl, gave me the "Autobiography of a Yogi" just before he left this world, and said to me, "This is the highest yoga, and the highest religion." What greater parting gift could he have given me? He gave me living water. He gave me the key to breaking my drug addiction. He gave me the key to salvation. Words cannot truly tell of my undying love for him. You know he went through many changes, from hard loving, hard drinking, hard fighting tough guy to enlightened Yogi. Even before he got the 4 keys to the kingdom of heaven from a direct disciple of Guru Maharaji (have you heard of him, the boy Guru?) he was a just man. I remember when he was 35 we were riding our bikes and came upon a 25 year old ex-boxer beating the hell out of a 16 year old kid, and my dad gave that guy the worse ass whipping I have ever seen. He later explained that God had put him there as an instrument of justice. It was my father who told me that love is the most powerful force in this universe, that love was even more powerful than death. He was truly my guru before I met my guru Paramahansaji."