Rating:

Rating:Yaoi, Lemon, Alternate-Universe

Extreme Falsehoods

Standard Disclaimers Apply

Warning: The Miko is sick and twisted, this is LEMON, and YAOI!!! (the lemon shouldn't show up for a few chapters) OH, and also, Fans of Fake, if you like J.J. a whole lot....don't read this!!! NOT Beta'd, I did all the boo-boos myself. Spoilers: I don't think there's any...this *is* mostly a parody. Notes: While this is written in 3rd person, it's still mostly from Mulder's P.O.V. so any comments on other characters are his subconscious talking.

By Himiko

Prolouge 1

He had received a case file about strange deaths occurring in New York City. He wanted to go there, but he was waiting for Scully to get to the office, so that he could tell her about the flight that he'd already booked for them.

He glanced up as he heard footsteps, and was more than slightly startled to see RatBoy of the Green Eyes ...er Krycek walk into his office. "What the hell do you want now?" he demanded, standing up from behind his desk. It was interesting how every time Krycek entered a room he found his blood boiling with anger. 'It's because he killed my father that rat bastard!' he thought to himself, furiously wishing that he had...sunflower seeds in his mouth, to suckle...er chew on.

Krycek smirked. "I heard about your new case," he pointed to the open file folder on Mulder's desk. "I was so fascinated by it, that I simply must join you on your trip to New York."

Mulder glared, 'Just who the hell does he think he is, anyways?' "I booked tickets for myself and Scully, you *won't* be accompanying us." he replied almost petulantly.

Krycek frowned slightly, before hiding his displeasure with another smirk, "I didn't realise that it was a lover's trip..."

"Of course it's not!" exclaimed Mulder angrily, "I think of Scully as a sister!"

Krycek grinned, "Good. Then you won't mind that I changed the booking so that I am the one accompanying you on this trip. Face it, Mulder, you don't have a choice, I'm coming with you whether you like it or not."

"But Krycek," Mulder answered through clenched teeth, "I'm going to need Scully's medical expertise on this case."

Krycek rolled his eyes, "What makes you think that she's the only person in the country capable of performing an autopsy? Do you honestly think that there isn't a single coroner in New York?"

New York City

Detective Randy McLean sat at his desk, studying the file in front of him, trying to find some clue, some inkling as to who or what had committed these brutal murders.

The bodies in the crime scene photographs were mangled to the extreme. They had been torn literally in half from some unidentifiable tool, 'Or claws, ' he thought, frowning. 'but there aren't any wild animals like that here.'

The corpses had all been found in alleyways in some of the busiest sections of New York City, with no apparent pattern to their placement.

The detective started as he felt breath against the back of his neck. "Ry~oooooooooooooooooo!" his partner stage-whispered against his throat, "Would you like to go somewhere more.......private?" Dee grinned.

Randy, or Ryo, as his friends and family tended to call him, (mostly because of Dee's use of that name) had been systematically stalked by his partner since the day they met. His partner always tried to seduce him at the most inopportune times.

He looked up at his purring partner and with one hand shoved him an armslength away. "Do you mind?!"

Dee, being the smartass that he was, of course had to reply, "Of course, I don't mind. It's the fact that we're in a public place isn't it? If I took you somewhere private would it be ok?" He continued to ramble on for quite some time like that completely oblivious to the fact that Ryo had ceased to pay any attention to him quite some time ago.

It was while Dee was busy ranting on about his desperate (and apparently unrequited) love for Ryo that the Captain, Barkeley Rose, came out to talk to the detectives.

"Ryo..." Barkley smiled, his teeth gleaming, "Two Special Agents from the F.B.I should be arriving briefly to assist you in solving this case."

Dee, finally having noticed his superior's arrival (and lascivious looks towards the object of Dee's affections) burst out with "What? We can take care of this ourselves! We don't need the Feds cutting in on our case." He glared at Berkley.

Berkley glared back, before continuing, "They *will* assist you. You will allow them access to all the evidence and files we have on this case."

Ryo nodded, "This is a particularly difficult case, but I'm sure if we work together with the F.B.I. agents we can get to the bottom of it."

Chapter 1

His prosthetic arm rattled against the rail of his seat, 'Some of the time.' he corrected, then noticing Mulder's glare, he amended, 'very rarely.'

(1) Only Krycek (The Amazing Ratboy) could be comfortable in one of those seats, and lookie who got the window seat!

To be continued....