Philistines

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0 height="100%"><tr> <td valign="top" width=168 BGCOLOR="#000000" TEXT="#F7F7FF" background="135a11c3.gif"> <div> <IMG SRC="0cfc67d0.jpg" border=0 width="198" height="125" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div> Lynda Finn is a Waitakere writer, artist and author of the self-esteem book, 'Largely Happy' which seeks to help bigger people regain their health and personal pride through a non-diet approach. Formerly a regular columnist for a glossy magazine, she has had work accepted by TVNZ, the BBC and various publications both in NZ and UK.</div> <div> <A HREF="mailto:largelyhappy@free.net.nz" TARGET="_top" TITLE="mailto:largelyhappy@free.net.nz"><U>Contact Lynda</U></A></div> </td> <td valign="top" BGCOLOR="#000000" TEXT="#F7F7FF"> <div> <FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#33CC00" FACE="Arial" ><B>Artrageous Women</B></FONT>   |     <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Artrageous Women"><U>home</U></A></div> <bR> <div> Philistines</div> <div> <B>By Lynda Finn</B></div> <bR> <div> <B>I first met Pio Terei when he was selling cars.  A born showman with a ready wit and a huge smile, he simply invited trust… I didn't buy a car from him!</B></div> <div> <B>Years later, after his successful entry into show-business and a rapid rise to fame on `Pete and Pio', I met him again when I submitted a comedy script to Isambard Productions who produced the show. </B></div> <div> <B>Pete and Pio had recorded it and it was due to be featured in a show the following month.  I am by no means an expert scriptwriter but I have funny ideas….no, I'm not taking anything for it, my therapist says I'll be OK in time if I lie down regularly preferably alone and not in the road.</B></div> <bR> <div> <I>Bob: So what kind of week have you had then?</I></div> <div> Joe: Pretty good on the whole. I went to an art exhibition at the weekend.</div> <div> <I>Bob: Oh, yea, good was it?</I></div> <div> Joe: Marvelous.   The exhibits were terrific. There were a few genuine art lovers there of course, but the place was mainly full of Philistines.  Now your real art lovers, they...."</div> <div> <I>Bob: Er..did you say 'philistines'?</I></div> <div> Joe: Yes, that's right, now they had....</div> <div> <I>Bob: But weren't they guys what chased the Hebrews across the Red Sea?</I></div> <div> Joe: Eht?</div> <div> <I>Bob: The Red Sea, you know the earth split and the sea rolled back and let the Hebrews through</I></div> <div> Joe: What are you on about? I'm trying to have a discussion about art and you're going on about earthquakes. Now people who know about art, I mean PROPER art, well they....</div> <div> <I>Bob: It wasn't an earthquake</I></div> <div> Joe: Eh?</div> <div> <I>Bob: It wasn't an earthquake, you can't say the philistines were chasing art lovers through an earthquake.</I></div> <div> Joe: I didn't</div> <div> Bob: <I>You said, "you have your philistines and your art lovers' well, if there were philistines then the Hebrews must have been the art lovers</I></div> <div> <I>Jo</I>e: (resignedly) All right then, the Hebrews were the art lovers. And art lovers can tell the different between your good art, which is an investment, and your bad art, which isn't</div> <div> <I>Bob: Well they would, wouldn't they?</I></div> <div> Joe:(sighing) But the philistines like cheap reproductions, your swans wings over the sunset stuff, the kind of thing you can buy at Farmers.</div> <div> <I>Bob: Was there a Farmers in them days  then? Joe</I>:  When?  What are you on about?</div> <div> <I>Bob: Farmers, was there a branch of Farmers there?</I></div> <div> Joe:  Sometimes I wonder about you. You're not making sense.</div> <div> <I>Bob: (with patience) You said the philistines liked sunset stuff what you could buy at Farmers and I said, was there a branch of Farmers, all them years ago. You know, Farmers, Red Sea branch?</I></div> <div> Joe:  You're barmy you know.  Them was  a totally different  kind of philistine altogether</div> <div> <I>Bob: Were they? Well where do the philistines live now then? Them philistines you was talking about I mean?</I></div> <div> Joe: Well I don't know, all over I suppose, you can't tell, I mean you can't <U>see</U> if a person is a philistine or not.</div> <div> <I>Bob: Ahh, so they're a bit like aliens then?</I></div> <div> Joe: (incredulously) Aliens?</div> <div> <I>Bob: Yes, you know, some people believe that there's aliens walking about on earth disguised as yooman beings, but you can't tell that they're aliens because they look just like yoomans. Do  you mean the philistines are like that, sort of disguised?</I></div> <div> Joe: <I>(Puzzled and despairing) </I>I suppose so, in a way... </div> <div> <I>Bob: So how do you tell if a person's a philistine then?</I></div> <div> Joe: Well I don't know. A philistine doesn't recognize or appreciate <U> real</U> art, so I suppose... you could show him some art.</div> <div> <I>Bob: Something like the Mona Lisa ?</I></div> <div> Joe: Yes                                                   </div> <div> <I>Bob: Or a very precious, very old Ming Vase?</I></div> <div> Joe: Certainly. (pleased to be getting through at last)</div> <div> <I>Bob: And if his eyes glaze over and he reaches for his check book, he's an art lover?</I></div> <div> Joe: Exactly</div> <div> <I>Bob: And if he piddles in it, he's a philistine?</I></div> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>