Kraken and the Aureate Fleecers
Meet Dime Medea and Penie Loopy
Copyright 1990 by Mu Kraken
HORNSTUNE IN THE CATTY COMBES
(for adult epopts only)
--Mu Kraken
Editor's Note:
This disk underwent some damage from the conflagration which
destroyed Sol System Amperor
Kozmoe XI's capital city during the second War of the Peonies. It
is the most recently translated,
only finished on the 45th of last Juvember. It encompasses myriad
sorties into Everyever Land, as
Pye is accompanied by a mixed bag of nits in search of the Lost
Conditionment of Outlandish.
THE FABLEAU
'Twas in the Streamtime of yore, twixt teatime and Tamer
Lane, between the Vietnam
War Moratorium and the Ozlandish Pop Festival or somethen twain,
that Pye Rattrackin developed
a yearn to pursue the Mystical Pith, thereby occultivating astral
grace and rendering his psilistrial
cogitations all the more melogical. So he stopped by the Memphis
Snake University Liberarity hauty
tower and boosted a tome or three to peruse at his leysure:
Theo Cult by Kali N. Wheelson
Mornwild by Elixir Cockney
Secret of the Nonochian Keys by Ibis
Pectoral Her Story of Mage Ichtheology by Unonymous Butch
Elfast Revise's Seven Lids of Solar Mound and Graalfest
The Edda Fisher King and Silver Psycho Rantology by Crackey
Bear Spauning's D-Force books
AlbinoWaist's "Plato Niche Tao Bardo" series: The Ferry Feys Inca Altic Countries
Icumen Force by Day
The Thighbitten Book of the Dude
--a muchphazing collection of
epopulist writings. Shouldering his
begpack fuller buccas, sacred tests and cryptures all, the
pookaneer hick-height down to No Oos Park
to examine his catch. Suddenly, lo and beho, who should he come
triptrapping acrux but Luease the
wherewitch perched at the perimeter! Lucid Luease, playing her
lunary tunes for awe to hear,
accompanied by her sightkick little Mamou Sita Leona:
Luease with opalesque pelt, pale Flemish
face waxing oval slim above vallejoin lustscape-- Sheba's Peeks
with Jambu Lala in besext, cruisects
the gently hyperboling Downy Downs, round the Singhole of Belle
Batone then WHOOPS!¯ slide
slide slide so slick and sly down into the vertiginous vertical smile!
Leona sable as hyperionyx, eyes
intense and dark as pulsars, a mind-body doo-wow duit-tuit
combeaux, fluid as dusky winter Indus sky with daemons,
Grandaughter of Lady Conjure & Papaw Jiabolo,
Baala Noche of our dreams,
endeary ganji of our waking, Kooing of Egypsies, Mastress of
Bambuti, Princess of Spades, Darkangel of the Lust Trump
-- both maidens adorned with cumhither baubles and Benghal
swaybeads. Their heartstrange immediately struck a card. They made
a date to meet on All Satyr Day
at the Aqua Ardua, there to initiate new warmholies in the
cosmic skein, rearranging the
matress-seize of time and space, scoping the estruel plain,
throwing open the gates between worlds,
letting into our 9 to 5 dimension countless ghoulies and ghosties
lurking at outer facets of
conceptuality. Tempus fugued, and they gathered unto themselves a
fine company of runecastors and
neck romancers: Robbie Yeshuar, Gloria Monday and her brother
Cody, single-eyed shytonic
Grigori Pope, Big Kooky Ooland with his vulclaws and jangling
jamboots, Sheri Apfelcheeks, Petra
with her sexcense, jitterboojee Mu Kraken, and of course Furritos
("Furri") Overdell. {'Twas some
moons previous, accompanied by his sadcock Blues Elvenbred, that
Pye had met unhoary Grigori,
that blonde, hawk- visaged hardrocktite with's one eye eartherly
and t'other underheather sparking
on the steps of the Great House at the innersect of Centaureal Ave
and Baal Veneer Boulevard.
"Hail, Pope!"
"Hali, yeah!"
"Wee bees seeking the llyrlight."
"Got a liddell. God sum Lucy Fur, too."
"We'll take two of each. And hold the anjubees!"
"Two, yes. But I think I'll set the antichovies over
here. A site greecey, dontcha know. Wait there."
So they waited in his Altar Stateroom as the
shaddas flexed. There in the whogone hunted hell they jittered,
augening the hagging coffer and the
horny god's visage, watting, wraithing in vein for Grigori's
return. At last the oaken door crickled
open and in walked the Pope, holding in his hand two scrolllike
tableats. Blues and Pye looked at
them as cants, then, making secret signs to word off the oval eye,
they ate the deep purple double
geodisci. There they chatted awhen with the Pope and his waypals,
toured his altarroom --all draped
in black and silver with goat's head in inverted pentacle--
checked his coffin for contents, and
debated the finer points of occult decor. Then Grigori excused
himself again and went out into the
nought. Blues and Pye sat watching the cobwebs dance as eye mages
multiple went loco rhythmic.
Ooooo, they shuttered there in the House on Hainted Hell, thinking
of tales told by Pope and awe
how trees older than whorlcane's grandmammy writhed and rooted
under the house to bring it
down. So they jittered there till Saturn Aria overtook them and
they flied the seeing. Pye, it
chaunced, ended up in gaol (tho that's anocher starry; see The
Book of Drubbings), whilst the rest
were scyttered to the wounds by Nymph'es Fenest. By the time Pye
met Luease and Sita, though,
that drauma was all behind him. Sophish to say, Grigori jined the
uncoven at a ladder date.} Luease
and Sita brought in Petra, Kooky, and later Furri--
synchronistically so, since Pye'd known Furri in
his Junior High years. The Fur and the Pye had climbed many a
'simmon tree together in those days,
spying on the neighborhood nubility-- (Ah, gridly Furri Overdell,
looking like an overgrown
Hobbitown savant, at first glance seeming more the black-&-white
50's sci-fi movie tomswift
tube-head than the cyclidelic seventies sorceror/rake, hardcone
now, changing the high dockside
into eleuxer elixive for the merryage at Cana bliss--) Sherri,
Robbie, Gloria, and Cody clangon at a
concertime and styxtite to the group thru thick if not thine.
Alust, neither Luease nor Sita ever
consented to test the Pye's pyromental plume bopper. Petra did,
tho, when he read her his Quacker
Odes and they beat their heat to the treat of the whipporwill's
call zowns bee- heinie cashbar at
Diabolo's Fridge-- But that's another story. {See The Book of
Celestial Floggings, where one may
also read how Pye and Carlbear heard Luease and Sita being blown
by discarnates in the back of
the Fode Mavrack.}
Ah, Petra! Petra only came at night and subsisted entirely
on Snappy Tammuz gogtales, resorting to By Our Lady Marys only in
Pinch-- tho Pye'd seen her turn to catsup in dispirit
moments ere sinrise. At the drape of a haint she could shapeshift
from Lady Alucard to Pulchra Vera.
One day it came about that the inner core of them was
selected (sans Selector, perhaps-- or
better, sands Selectress) to go on a quest for sake of the sacred
Mother in Hebbin, the goddess
Dime Medea. It happened like this: Liddell Penie, cherrilicious
Penie, Aiedenn-born faerule Penie,
Pisky Babyangel of Rosy Cheeked Dawn, aka Jane Porter's Heebie--
Liddell Penie Loopy,
daughter of Dime Medea (Goddess of the Fertile Feels). Penie was a
nice piece off the older wool,
one who was pup-dropped as result of an unplaned intersexion of
Loopy Allmomma with Inkidu
Allpappa just inannaseconds after the fiat of the Allall. (Awe
what a potent portentious babebang
after bigbang that was: mithraphysical genepools whoophoolen,
splitliten, fermen and refirmen in an
unperilelled livemaking a quantrant past free in the afterboom!)
Liddell Penie, skin soft and
unflemished, eoscent as Holyword movie queens (those black-&-white
goddesses of the silver
scream), muchplussed and pubicsent Penie, mimosa blossum deliciate
jungle djinn, her ribbling dark
locks cascading waistward in deep browns and auburns down
sugarbeaut breesties, halting just
short of Border of Rump-- at 14 summers Sister of Korak hallooing
from Mero-ee where
rosebuzzooms arome the brine--
Liddell Penie Loopy snook out with
her maidfriends late one
leprecorny night and gaggelboundce down to the Whylands Trip
thinking to locate a pedlar-pusher
and pick up on a couple of groovbalmy psyche-tropical
snickersnacks-- you know the score: ol'
yeller jackets, black windows, paris blue speckled birds, Road
Devas, perhaps a cartouche of silly
cypher-- just a little something to go along with the lith of
Pansoma Red she'd scored in studyhall.
Carmelvalis the scene and karnalite the sone as they wended their
ways through the iluvitorn crowd,
here and there hugging the occassional familiar hullabalucinating
spoofspook. Somewhy Penie got
separated from her fellow hornspiriters. She was just picking
narkopticorns from a posie peddle
pucer down by the Reflecting Pool Hall, when up rumbled Bluetao in
his big black boogee with
shiver branns on top, a shot rood hearse: its twin chrome recti
jutting donder und blitzen, the hood's
hood panted in uberlicking orange and yellow fledgy tonic flem
flambo. Spying the unmade maid on
the wordwaltz, he screeched to a hawk, leifed from his stariot,
and said, "Hey, behbeh! Wanna
twist?" Seeing his opiate visage in the pleatgrass mind mirror--
this big hoary goy with's red wings
and calores, horsehide harley jacket fairly dripping chrome and
chains, studjeans and jokeboots
spiked with silver spurriors-- and belatedly realizing he was no
hallucination, she screamed for
Mummoo! But the grime Archonaut, unfaced, grabbed her up like a
sacka rice, tossed her squealing
into his valhicle, and roared away into the Abitch Maul all
tenebrawl. He spirited her away in his
paddy-hearse to his Palace Tenebras in Massas Sloppy and there
tried to make her his Queen.
Then, when she refused, he hangtied the yousefoal blumenkid
head down down down like a ham
strung up for asmoking in the ion kertained Neitherworld. Only
virginish Heykitty saw it. Heykitty,
echolight of the Wishdome Meriwand, as she gathered herbs by the
loonlite, heard a crashing bash
overhead in the strattlesfear. She looked up and beheld the
Deathcar trumphantom, and in it was
Penie Loopy screaming with her long locks streaming behind like
Phaeton's comet. Bluetao's
laughter rikkishayed off the Dome of Hebbin as if it were Vesuvian
gravel dancing across the sky
with an eye to making landfall at Pompeii by mourning.
Her mutter dee Mater, hearing the nudes
from her daunter's playmates-- and they saying only that Penie had
vanished they knew not where--
dropped what she was dowsing and went rushly out from Mt. Ol'
Rumpus to the Tao Downs,
running bark and fret amongst the freebringers, asking, "Have you
seen her? Tell me, have you seen
her?" But a lass only liddell Heykitty'd seen the unnational act,
and lo she so young and dim-- not yet
imbued with her divine post as Patroness of Enchantresses-- she
shied from the goddess' fell frown a
full five moons as Dime Medea searched, doomkissed, mile after
mille. (Alas, the Celestial Grainma
delayed or dallied now and again whenever she was wooed by
synshroomous petals-- such petals
pinned by lore many millenia later waybackwhen the Xians sought
fables to fiat, thereby engendering
a rectioactive heritage in the reknown of yore).
Meanwhilst Penie's big sis, virginal Wanda Loopy
(that hadbeen Oztech Maizekern Godmash translighted by the
Spanache priests and poxes to a
Roamin' Chattelick Santa, Patrona delas Peonas Concubondage and
thence, in ladder daze haints,
sacral blown carlost castanets hauntress of the moan) peered at
the skryes by night-- Alas! Earthen
leer, Kashmir! Despairing, the Grainmutter decided to call in
professional assistance.
Oh how floored was Pye when Dun Mother Loopy brought her
plight before them! For he had had a
lustcrush on liddell Penie for quiet some time. Images of her
nubile visage rockoshayed back and
forth wall to wall accross his mind like quetzals trapped in
sistine chaparral. And she too flathering
far below eighteen for him to even dream of puerking-- outside of
a noneteeth centaury or sooth
pacifish sateing:
"Cum unto mihititi and cymbileyes mine ache idity,
O rangytangy whitemeat of a hairy mandog!
Let us make minihahas amid the pyrrenahas togezzer!"
So ran Pye's phantastes--
much like those of any 20-year- old Aquavitalung. Pye couldn't
help but envy and admire oiled
Bluetao. "Why, of course we'll take the gig!" he said,
volunteering the minds and souls of his mates in
their absinthe. Now they were non too plussed that he'd agreed to
the job without their consent. But
what the hell else had they to do during finals week? So they
gathered out on the open swards, the
spacey swards down by the waterwords, insorceled by the abessmeal
innervale of dusk inwhen
rayality becomets florid as the dream. And they likewise
incirceled frazettian Luease, (Pye all the
wild admiring her upsprighteous moundies). She called on all
godlies and doglies and goosies and
geisties, dogmas, dogpas, and rungpas, with all tidies and widies
and boogies and breesties, and all
slapspooks and cane ooks and longlevitied seelies, and things that
nip rumps in twilight (boom
boom). And there in what might be midpant of naut, there in the
Nth enterveil tween helflight and
loonlight, there in the pie ano dome dell Luease led the jolie
sikhers through dee mainzion doer, the
waterlike gap tween moments, to dales of the dracsite, past
Raveround and Giblets Grave. There
they extended their neural tendrils to make contact with the Joint
Armadillo and the Phantom Light
Fucker, oldtime heros in the peace waged against the Monolithic
Confuter from Jupiter (for you see,
the both of them hailed from Beatle Joust). Then did the Funtome
speak, saying, "Go ye to the faer
maid Heykitty, for we both heard her boast at the bar that she and
she alone did see in a fission what
happened to liddell Penie Loopy!" So down by a babylon brook they
found Heykitty and in terror
gitted her.
"I saw it!" she said. "I saw her high above the sphere
below the firmer mantle of Hebbin,
dragooned along by Bluetao, Chef of the Neitherworld! It is there
you moan go if you seek the
daughter of dee Mater!"
Then did the Aardmudder Herself appear,
saying, "Aha! So that foul fool
Kink of the Utterworld has got her! I shall straightaway fly down
and decolate his gonads for him!"
"No, no, Great Mutter!" said lucid Luease. "The Earth is
already laid barren by Divine neglect! If
You go down into the realm of the Deathlard, then the world will
suffer glaciation like never was
known in all prehisteria! Let us do the deed for You!"
So the Goddess agreed. But before She left
She handed them a branch of gold. "Take this as a token of My
protection," She said, "for without it
Bluetao will keep you in his dim palace in Tenebras forever."
So they journeyed down down down
thru Arkanasouse, snaking up on the Rexy Morti through a forgotten
Serbian's intrance hidden deep in the Oz Arks.
Continued on next axon cluster...
Pennie Loopy, continued
