The Poetry Lesson




The Poetry Lesson
By June "KaraOhki" Geraci
Started July 25, 2004
Completed May 19, 2009 (yikes!)


Ranma 1/2 is the property of Rumiko Takahashi. I'm just borrowing it for a little while. You may share this story with others, but it is not to be used for commercial purposes.

This story is a side story for "A Change of Scene", one of my series. It is set during the time that Ranma, who is in college with his wife, Akane, is having an awful time with his English classes. He's being tutored by an American girl named Allison who really was living in Ube at the time I started writing COS, working as an English teacher with the JET program. I lost touch with Allison a very long time ago, but this story is for her.

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"You want me to WHAT?"

Allison grinned at Ranma. "You heard me. I want you to write a poem. In ENGLISH."

"But, but--"

"You took English in high school, right? Weren't you required to write?"

Ranma glanced over at Akane, who was working on dinner. He could tell that she was enjoying his embarrassment a little too much. "We read. A lot. And Miss Hinako would ask us to write a summary of what we read. I don't know about poetry."

"Consider it an exercise. You are stretching your mental muscles." Allison got up and began gathering her things together. "If you need some guidance, get on the internet and do some research. One way or the other, I want you to have some kind of poem ready for me when I come back long."

"Okay."

*****

Ranma nervously sat down in front of the computer. It had taken him some time to learn how to use the thing, and he still only felt comfortable using it for the most basic tasks, like typing reports. The internet was still pretty much a mystery to him. He consulted the little instruction book Shiro had written up for him, took a deep breath, and opened up a browser window. Then he typed "English Poetry" into the search engine.

The results were overwhelming. He had links to online stores selling books by English poets, to databases of poetry in English that could only be accessed by members, to lists of poets who wrote in English, and personal web pages set up by fans of various poets.

One name was immediately familiar. Trying not to think about his experience at Furinkan High with the performance of "Romeo and Juliet," Ranma clicked into a collection of Shakespeare's sonnets.

"What the hell?" he muttered. "This is English? NO way I can write anything like this." With that, he returned to the search engine. Maybe a sonnet wasn't a very good idea. Akane might like it if he could write one for her, but it simply wasn't his style.

The word style made him think. If a sonnet was one style, or type, of poetry, there must be others. His next query gave him some interesting options to read. There was epic poetry, sonnets again, haiku (something that he was at least familiar with), acrostics, and more.

He began reading examples of the poetry, and discovered that he actually liked some of it.

"What's this," Ranma muttered, as he opened another link. "Never heard of a limerick before." He began reading, and was shushed by the librarian when the poems made him chuckle. He simply had to read more of this stuff! Unfortunately, he didn't thoroughly read the description of the next limerick site before he clicked the link and began to read. A line or two into the limerick about the young lady from Nantucket was enough to make him turn bright red and leave the site.

A little more research turned up something called a "song poem," where the music of an existing song would be used to write a new poem. That sounded somewhat interesting, but Ranma wanted to write something as simple as possible. A glance at the clock told Ranma it was nearly time for dinner, so he stuffed his notes into his bag and headed home.

*****

"Akane, you trying to burn down the house?" Ranma instantly regretted his words when Akane turned away from the stove and faced him. Her eyes were all red, either from crying, or the smoke in the air, or both.

"That's not funny! Do you know how hard I worked on this?"

Ranma instantly backpedaled. "I'm sure you did. What went wrong?"

"I was studying while dinner cooked, and I guess I lost track of time." Akane looked at the ashes in the pan, and winced. "There's no way we can eat this."

"Throw it out, then. I'll go pick something up for us."

"I'm sorry."

"Hey, you haven't done this in a long time! Be right back."

*****

As Ranma ran down the stairs, he began to wonder if he could possibly write a limerick. Allison didn't say the poem had to be serious, so why not?

As he approached the bottom of the stairs, he became aware that Mrs. Takei was playing one of her old records. She had a fondness for American music, and Ranma sometimes found himself stopping at the bottom landing just to listen. This particular song was one he'd heard before, and he hummed it to himself as he ran into town for some takeout.

*****

"Damn song is stuck in my head!" Ranma put his head in his hands and groaned. He'd been trying to write some sort of comic verse, but every time he got started the song came back to haunt him. What was even worse was that he'd actually come up with three lines to end what would be a song poem, if he could only come up with the beginning. Allison would return in one more day, and he had absolutely nothing to show for his efforts.

*****

Ranma sat on a bench outside the day care center waiting for Akane. The notepad in his hands was filled with half-written poems. He didn't like any of them.

As Ranma reviewed his work, he began to hum. It was that song. Again.

Defeated, Ranma scribbled down the three lines that would end the song poem, if he could ever finish it. Perhaps Allison would accept them, and let him finish later. He closed the notebook, started to shove it into his bag, and froze. Then he pulled out the book and began writing as fast as he could, before the words could fly away.

*****

"Let me see it!"

"No!"

"Come on, Ranma. Why won't you let me see it?"

Ranma was trying to formulate an answer when the doorbell rang, and he gratefully ran downstairs, with his notepad in his hands to let Allison in. Before she could even take off her coat, he began to apologize.

"I tried very hard, but I don't know if you'll like it." Ranma winced. "It's a song poem." He handed her the pad and watched while she read. When Allison began to giggle, Ranma turned red.

"It's that bad?"

"Not really. It's actually funny. I knew you could do it if you tried." Allison looked at Akane, then returned her attention to Ranma. "Has Akane seen this?"

"Not yet."

"This wouldn't be about her, would it?"

"Umm..."

"Let me see that." Before anyone could stop her, Akane took the pad from Allison and read the words aloud:

'Just inedible.
That's how it was.
But you learned to cook.
I thank the gods.

Every time you'd hit the kitchen I'd
Run and hide and you'd be bitchin'
'cause
I'd refuse to even take a small bite.

Just inedible.
But then one day.
Mr. Mori showed you the right way.

But before it was inevitable
That you'd turn food oh so edible
Into some sort of incredible goo.'


Akane's face began to turn bright red.

"I think you'd better run," said Allison.